This is second day I have passed H while driving. Today he flagged me down. He had just come from our house and was surprised that no one was home. He wondered why I hadn't answered his call this afternoon. He had just asked about my day and hadn't asked me to call him back. Since nothing exciting had happened I told him I decided there was no need to call him back. I think I am better off not seeing him. When we talk on the phone it is easier.
I seem to be obsessed to find out who he is with. WHY?????? Certainly does me no good!!!
Job update---or better labeled as "non job" update! Yesterday had a call from my second interview asking about my interest and if I had more questions. I told her I was concerned about the long drive and of course, we hadn't discussed salary at all. She said the salary offer would have to come from the administrator, but she made it clear it wouldn't be near my asking salary. After thinking about it during the night (and in view of D16's escapades the other day) I decided I did not need to be 1 to 1 1/2 hour away (current job is about a 20 minute drive). Any extra salary would be taken up with the cost of gas. I will keep looking. Meanwhile, I need to reframe my attitude toward my current job!
I seem to be obsessed to find out who he is with. WHY?????? Certainly does me no good!!!
Matilda,
Ya know In my OP, When you are piecing you can't help but to get more reattached to your spouse more than when you were apart. Then when things like this happen You need to go thru the proccess all over again.(learning to detach GAl not thinking about OW ect...). But that is just My Op.
You will find a wonderful job that suites you im'e sure. After all you are Matilda!!!
Keep detaching from H. I like that you did, not return his call and thus he was looking for you. WOW he even flagged you down asking why you didn't call. WHY, because you did a 180 from what you were doing. Try not returning his calls until he has called a couple of times and do not call him( of course unless it is important. LRT. Go dark, YA NEVER KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN.
JAK
Last edited by jak58; 07/27/0712:50 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I still think I'm disappointed in H's lack of honesty and complete avoidance of trying to fix our M back in Sept when he "came home". I keep saying the first time he told me about ow long before I knew anything. This time he denied that there was one person.....just general unhappiness. He made me feel like I was a crazy, jealous lunatic and didn't want him to have female friends. I think that hurts more than anything. Guess I need counseling to get over this!!!!!
Yes, I am still married (technically anyway). H took his ring off which meant we were not married in his mind!!! H is waiting for me to file for D. That way we can get by with one lawyer and save money. H wants to keep as much money as he can for his entertainment pleasure. (My lawyer keeps saying one lawyer will work....as long as it's MY lawyer! )
I have hired a lawyer, but not completed the paperwork to file......we are supposed to be separated 6 months in this state before we can file. It's only been 3! Do I lie about the date and please H? I almost feel going ahead might be better for me financially. Will look at the paperwork this weekend and see what is left. I have been busy at work, looking for a new job, and just plain worrying to figure out the rest of the paperwork. I should just file....I would still have more time to figure out the finacial settlement. I will get busy and "move on" ASAP.
You sound like you have given up all hope. Have you? Are you sure? Would you give him a chance if after you "serve" him and if reality hits him he wants to try to work things out?
I hope you find peace in your sitch and decisions Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
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