But, she failed you too. After all, she's an adult now, and one can't keep blaming one's upbringing for everything that goes wrong in one's life. There has to come a time, when we have to realise that we have to be there for ourselves, and just grow up.
I do understand what you're saying, though.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Bob Didn't read your whole story but everybody is accountable for their own actions. Just like us we can chose to NEED our spouses or we can prefer to be with our spouses. Eater way if we stay it's our choice. I may have not done something right in my marriage but it was my wife choice to sleep with OM
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Friends: A book list I gave to Mr_Indesive99. Check it out: "Hope for the Seperated" - Gary Chapman "Every Woman's Desire" - Stephen Arterburn Anything written by Gary Smalley "Bold Love" - Dan Allender "Captivating" - John and Stasi Eldredge. "Wild at Heart" - John Eldredge. "It's (Mostly) His Fault" - Robert Alter. Any of Harley's stuff: MarriageBuilders.com And of course "Divorce Remedy".
He mentioned a lot about his wife's "Lying". I'm in the same boat. At this point in time, I believe nothing that she says. I'd like to hear others view on lying, for he and me. I think it's a really real issue. I mentioned to OM BS my wife's "character flaw", including lying, lack of empathy, etc. thru this (She is a doctor), and she said that this is beyond "Character Flaw". Something to think about? Thoughts?
I honest to God just woke up from a nitemare where my kid was lying to me, started to defend his lies, and justify them and lie more to cover them up. (Yes I know, I don't have a boy, I have girls, dreams are whack like that). He was acting just like his Mom including the lies of omission. In this dream I was having dinner with two couples I hadn't seen or talked to in long time and told them as to why I had been scarce for the last couple year and a half. And I told the about this f**king h**ll with my wife. My kid was mad at me cause I started getting angry, and tried to tell him a parable about lying using the metaphor of a little girl (His Mom). That was a crazy dream. Some where I started running away or escaping but this little prickly rodent was chasing me. WTF.
It could be you are worried about your kids turning into her. You may not want to believe your little girls would ever do that so you manifested a little boy in your dreams who knows.
I was scared to death to have little girls who grew up like my wife sneaking around with boys and lying. It became a big fear of mine. But after the A I forgot about all that and it doesn't alarm me as much to have kids with her now which is wacko. Now I just want to do whatever it takes to make sure she's okay.
I'm worried about my kids. They are now the ones getting f**cked over in this nitemare. Just spent about an hour listening to them, hearing their concerns. They are so in the dark about what their mom has done. They really don't like the chaos that is living next door to us (wife's sisters family very dysfunctional as I've mentioned in these posts). Their mom, my wife, seems to be so deluded. I kinda am getting most always just repulsed by her. She's just such a f**ck up. Kids lock the door to keep SIL family, especially niece out of the house. They take our food, act and come and go as it's their house. Kids are concerned with those boundaries. Wife berates them for locking the door. 1 week. Freedom. Kids and I. Kid mentioned me locking mom out (Jul-Aug'06). Said mom said that I thought she was at a party and that's why I locked her out. So unfair to kid (Mom was out f**cking/around with dude). I've not said a bad word about her to kids. Wife seems to be saying to kids that divorce will make everyone "happier". I'm starting to wonder if she's just nuts. Kids saying that they have issue with SIL boyfriend and his, girlfriends, drinking, lack of responsibility etc. Same things that their mom has been doing. It feels so crushing, that they are also describing their mom's behaviors. This just f**cking sux !!! Please, thoughts?
It does suck! Just be the rock for your children, so they can see a different perspective to the one your W and her family has. And, continue to vent here where it is safe. Your kids sound like they are pretty in tune with what's happening.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I feel your pain buddy. I want less drama and think someone else might be able to offer that but I keep coming around to different person different set of problems.
Could be more my type but I know for a fact that I would miss things about my wife. And I really really dont want to get to a situation where i'm with someone else and after the the new dating thrill wears off I think I could have worked things out with my wife and things weren't as bad as i made them out to be.
