Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? One day at a time

We're back in town. I called my H because S7 wanted to spend the day with him. He picked him up a little bit ago and I'll go get them later.

I'm exhausted not much sleep this weekend. So maybe my brain isn't thinking clearly but I'm really concerned with if I'm going to have my marriage in the end. I'm just having a lot of doubts lately. I know I should be focused on me and I've been doing really well with that this last week. I just want my marriage too. Like we all do I guess. This hurts and it's sad and there's not a thing I can do to insure my marriage. It's out of my control.

"I just want my marriage too. Like we all do I guess. This hurts and it's sad and there's not a thing I can do to insure my marriage. It's out of my control."

- my sentiments exactly!

Well just got back from getting the kids from their dad. I just don't get how he can come across with the attitude that this doesn't bother him or he has no feelings for me anymore. After 11 years how do you just not feel? My guess would be you don't and he's just not showing me but geesh... Some emotion would be nice.

So I need to get back to distracting myself. I'm still exhausted so maybe I should distract tomorrow and tonight just be.

Sounds like we are both having a tough week, don't worry, we will get thru it, not sure how, but we both do in our situations. Just keep trudging along each day and pray that it all works out in the long run.

I hope we get thru it. Some days I have more faith then others. I know God holds marriage high and I'm praying like mad for mine. I just have to have faith he can work on my H. Just a tough couple of days. I guess if he doesn't come back it wasn't meant to be but that sure would suck. I mean after having him leave and come back 4 times now to have this time be IT. I just don't know. Hopefully after a nights sleep I'll be better tomorrow.

We're supposed to be positive unless D is mentioned. Sorry I'm not so positive now. I'll get back just don't know when.

I am also not in a positive frame, I really just want it to stop, I am getting to the point that I don't care, just do it one way or the other and be done with it.

See I want it to stop but I still care about how it ends. I haven't reached an I don't care just end it one way or another stage. I'm frustrated, saddened, hurt but still care alot. I still hear from people that I need to just give it time. That they don't feel he's truly done because of various things. It's nice to hear and gives me hope but no one KNOWS what will happen. I keep trying to tell myself time and patience. Some days that works others not so much.

Right now I just want to curl up somewhere and cry my eyes out. I can't at the moment because my children are still up and running around. So I'm holding it in. Doubt it'll last after their in their rooms in about 10 minutes.

My BIL called me this morning. My H's grandmother is in the hospital and had surgery Thursday of last week. My H and I went to see her Friday and she seemed okay. Well this morning my BIL tells me that she's been moved to the ICU for something related to her heart. My H started his new job today and I don't know how to reach him there. I sent him an email and I called his cell. So far I haven't heard from him. I don't know what else to do.

Things like this just makes this sitch harder. I love his grandmother and if she doesn't make it I'll be very sad. So will he but I don't know that he'll let me be there for him since we aren't together.

You know this sitch is bad enough in itself. Then to have something like his grandmother not doing well just really gets me down. I was told this morning we needed to get up there because it didn't look good. Well she was refusing treatment said she just wanted to go. My FIL talked her into treatment so they were expecting her to stablize. They told me to tell my H not to leave work early since it was his first day on the job.

He went after work I couldn't go with him because I didn't have anyone to keep the kids on short notice. He called me afterwards and said she doesn't look good. He doesn't think she's going to die she just looks like what you expect an old person in the hospital to look like. I just want to cry. I want to shake him and say do you not see what you're doing to us and our families? Obviously I'm not. I just say thanks for calling and showed my concern. I want to be there for him, I want him to be there for me. Just not going to happen right now if ever.

I'm seeing so many people on here lately that are giving up or their spouses have filed and I just wonder if there's hope. I know there is but I'm just really sad right now.

Just be around for him. Don't take what is happening in our situations as bad for yours.