Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Tiny Ray of whatever...

I wish it was that simple. The whole mess is live and in my face.

She is pushing the divorce through as fast as possible at this point and now has told me she is fighting me on custody. She is full blown in love with the OM and wants "the divorce to be final as quickly as possible so I can move on with my life"

I have that to contend with, I have my final moments with my dad to contend with, living paycheck to paycheck and barely getting by, my job obligations, having no local friends

UA it's a struggle moment to moment that I cannot even describe the pain and hell I sit in right now.

NM I understand. Believe me.

But remember, the only thing YOU can control is you. So you decide to fake it and be happy.

Go dark on dealing with her. No need to talk to her unless it relates to the kids.

Now, as far as custody - do you have your own lawyer? Talk to him about rights - hers and yours. Is your state a no fault state? If not, her relationship with om would be a help to you regarding custody. I know you probably don't want to fight dirty but these are your kids and you have every right to have them as well.

Divorce doesn't HAVE to be bitter and hateful - and shouldn't be when kids are involved ....

Not saying it's easy.

I'm sorry you're struggling. Do you have someone you can talk to?

Sadly my state is no fault.

I do have a lawyer and since papers have been filed and no child is in danger, custody is "open". Meaning basically either of us can whatever we want with the kids as long as we don't leave state.

UA I really don't have anybody to talk to..that's why I live here. My best friend is 400miles away and just tells me that I'm better off without her. He doesn't have kids (nor wants them) so he doesn't relate very well to the sitch. He's a good venting post at times, but remains silent and has no advice. He just sits and listens. Sometimes that's ok, but I need feedback. That's why i'm here on the boards.

I mean a counselor or therapist.

With being out of town I had to cancel my sessions. Now that I'm back, I can't afford them for a few weeks.

I think you should get to at least one appt. Tell them you can't pay till X date but that you really need to be seen. See what they tell you.

Break out that assertive self.

Me? Assertive? You must have me mistaken with somebody else.

KS is right, make an appointment, they will let you pay later, especially if you have already been seen by them.

you gotta go work on it....be assertive. Start now.

I have no idea how to. Even when my wife and I were first getting to know each other she had to pull of her shirt before I even got a clue that she was interested.

I'm the wallflower.