Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy would like some advice 2

Nice talking w/ya gotta get some sleep

Hey Light,

Take the class, even if you do not stay it will be something use full at your next job and another thing to put on any application. You can't live in a frame of mind that you "Might not" be working there in a year. Just like you can't live like you "might not" be married in a year. LIVE FOR TODAY.

Husband

here's one for ya. W calls at work today, cable guy came to house for internet, I asked what she needed and she didn't need anything at the moment but asked if I would carry cell phone if she did something. Ok i did. She calls back 15 min later vibrated in my pocket. I told operator of machine i was working on i would be right back. I stepped outside and she said she was purchasing airline tickets today and asked if 8-2 til 8-7 was ok. I said that may be when work wants me to work nights for a week. She said d16 would be home and the next week is s7 b-day. I said well i guess it really doesn't matter then does it and hung up (I may have said bye) and went back to work.

If she didnt want my opinion why call?
Is this rubbing my face in it?

So much for 'I wish he was only coming for a few days'.

Just needed to vent.

Lightswitch,

Take the class it would be good for your PMA and you could use it down the road and while you are still at your currant job.


Good Luck
JAK

LS,

Take the class, it sounds like a great opportunity to work on yourself. From my experience that is what DBing is all about, making yourself better.

As for the question about rubbing the A in your face. I think in their weird twisted kind of way they feel they are being considerate. They are going to do it anyways and by asking you they think that they are taking your feelings and concerns into account. Messed up I know, but this is how they think.

My W at one time told our pastor that the A was over and our mess was do to everything else in our M. Well two days after she talked to our pastor I found love letters and proved that the A was still ongoing... Why did I tell you this....Well about a month after that she told me that is was able to say that the A was over because it was only talking and that they hadn't had any MOMENTS for a while. MOMENT = make out session...... She was able to justify the lie in her mind so it made it OK.

Remember that she is wrapped up in this dude and as crazy as everything they do seems to us it is justified in their heads.

Take Care.....Stay Strong,
ERC

I actually typed this last night but couldnt sent, internet out.

Good evening db'ers,

I saw a lawyer today about my rights. ND is a no fault state. Committing adultery doesn't affect settlement of property or child custody. She can legally leave w/kids if I oppose it, but we would need to go to court right away. She can't throw me out unless I was a threat basically, witch I'm not. I love her and my kids very much.
I forgot to ask if we did have to get a d how long it takes and do we both need a residence with enough bed rooms for our kids(might be tough to afford).

After this app I took d16 to Fargo for wis tooth app. I asked her if she wanted to check out the rock climbing w/me(she also likes extreme things). We where going but d11 was hurt that d16 wasn't going to be back for crazy days, they planned on going together. So we cancelled rock climbing and made a quick stop at the book store.

I bought 'The Five Love Languages' and ordered 'Not Just Friends'. Thanks YoYo I'm on page 40 and it helps. I'm not able to apply it in my r right now looking forward to trying someday. Also I hope that their 'in love' experience doesn't last the standard 2yrs, the books description of this totally describes them right now.

When we where deciding what to do after app my w wanted to know what I had planned, I didn't tell her. Later that night the tv and computer where being used so I went to our room to read. She came up a little later and said the tv was open and asked what i was reading. I didn't tell her until she asked 1 or 2 more times. I told her I spent $30 at bookstore and one is being delivered. She paused and commented that our situation is messed up(I think cause I'm doing the save the r this time). She said that I looked angry and thin and felt bad that I haven't been doing things for myself. I replied 'Maybe I look angry because that's all you concentrate on and I'm thin cause I don't have much of an appetite'.

Well anyway that's where im at right now. I plan on seeing a movie even if its by myself this weekend. Hopefully running back to Fargo to check out rock climbing. Along with kid quality time. maybe fishing the boat is running again.

any comments welcome
thanks
Just remembered something; right when I got home d20, baby and w where in living room where computer is located. Webcam that she purchased to see om was on top of computer. I gave it a little flip and it fell behind desk, I also unplugged usb and flipped it behind desk. My wife looked at me with her jaw open. My d20 said what to her. I walked away. Maybe that's why she thinks I'm angry. To me leaving that on the computer is rubbing it in, Twisting the knife, throwing salt on it. I hope i made my point that I would like a little respect in this crappy sitch.

ok I'm done venting, thanks

Hey light,
Great movie "Fargo". I read the 5 lang. book. Good book but it seems more like a book that a couple needs to read together. But it does help you understand needs of other people.

good luck

husband

Husband,
That movie I think gave us a bad rep. We really don't talk that way. Some people actually think we do.

last night when w came in our room when I was reading, in our conversation I told her that someone reccomended the book. She was curious and asked who. I told her about the web sight. She asked if I talk to women, I told her men and women in similar sitch are on this sight. I told her some names of people. she asked mine and I didn't tell her.

As far as reading the book, It's for knowlege. I hope I can use it on my wife some day.

Light,

I was not knocking Fargo down. I really did like the movie. I know it was a movie not a documentary. You don't think all of us California’s have blond hair and surfboards do ya?

I was thinking about our spouses looking at this web site. My W knows I am talking to people on the web but I thinks she just thinks it's my "my space" web site.
I have given too many details about my sitch even if I did not tell her my board name. She would really have to be stupid not to figure it out.

Husband

well tonight was interesting. Its payday. we where already negative. did the bills. asked w for her checks to balance cb. she already told me she was buying tickets to east coast to see om. She said i would be mad a couple times then told me. $700. I didn't bat an eye wrote it down and continued on. She did add that she has some more money coming in to help w/this.

Later I told her I wanted to watch the new Bill Engval show on dvr, she was going to bed. I started watching it she came in the room and looked at the tv and sat down and watched it. I was on chair she on couch. I still liked it. We both laughed at funny parts.

Because of excessive minuites on cell phone I learned of unlimited texting for family plans. I figure if she can keep racking up the bill I can add to it also a little. I changed our plan and let our daughters know via texting. d20 is very happy (she was blocked a couple years ago from texting, big bill) she said she would sent many pics, the first one is so cute (grandson). Its already worth it, I feel it can bring us closer also. d16 also appreciates it she said she needs to learn to text now.
I ended up telling my w about this after texts where coming in from d20. She texted her and asked for the same pic i got.

I'm not looking forward to her leaving to see om begining of aug.