Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives For Newcomers Archives Gone Dancin's Dilemma, 3

After reading Sandi2's post to CVA explaining the potential mindset of WAWs, I'm wondering if I should implement "the last stand talk" with W in the coming weeks or not. I'm strongly considering getting the "women's infidelity" books that she mentioned.

I think I'll ask Sandi if she'll give me her opinion too. Maybe waw1978 too (if she comes back -- haven't heard from her in several days).

GD

GD

You got an E Mail address , I can send you those and save you $25
.

Dave

You are too rad, Dave! seeingtheforest@hotmail.com

Are they worth the read? I'm guessing they must be if you're going to send them to me.

I have read the second one not the first. They are worth the read , It will be some stuff you may not want to read .

Dave

Dave or GD - if you don't mind sharing, please send them to me too at nomopo@hornfans.com. My read of the website sounded like they were more designed for the woman to read than for the LBS. True? Also, sounded like they dealt more with PAs and EAs, but I'm not sure about that.

GD - can you elaborate on why you are reconsidering your last stand talk? Fear of pressuring her? Your sitch just seems so different. You have had so little contact relatiive to many of us, you went very dark for a while, and you have a D date set in mid-August.

Nomo

Let me know if you get them , I have the worlds poorest internet connection

sent to you too Nomopo

Dave

BTW, GD - that Bosie State / OU game was awesome. I'm a huge college fan. What's the schedule look like? Any "big" games?

Hey Nomes,

I will send you the books if Dave doesn't.



I guess it is the fear of pressuring her, and causing her to be more tentative and short with time when she picks up the kids. I feel like I've made some good progress in the communication between us, only to have it potentially dashed if the talk is perceived negatively by W. I don't want to revert back to square 1, you know? And if this is what happens, it will take so much longer for her to invest in the notion that my going dark is really due to me moving on with my life. She will probably say to herself, "Yeah, I've seen this before. He did it for a couple of months and really wasn't moving on like I thought he might've been." I just hate/fear that possible outcome.

What do you think (and what makes you think that "the talk" is a good idea again?)? Have you read my rough draft of what the talk will likely entail, and if so do you have any constructive criticism to lend?

GD

GD - I'm gonna crash, but my personal opinion is that you shouldn't worry about those concerns too much. I don't see it playing out that way. Let me elaborate tomorrow. I'm spent tonight. And yes, i did read your draft and had at least one suggestion, but let me read it again tomorrow. That's what I hate about thread locks - you lose momentum. You may want to repost the letter and related questions on this thread.

G'night,
Nomo

PS - Dave hooked me up.