It is so ironic. I avoided sex while we were married because my H's anger and depression was such a turn off. Now that he is gone, I really miss sex. Why is that? He and I have made jokes that I want him now because I cannot have him. He laughed, "Typical for a woman!" I really think it could be like when we were teenagers again if he came back, do ya know what I mean? That is ironic too because that is one of the major reasons he left and now neither one of us is getting any (hopefully if he is honest)! Stupid. I watched a show on sex toys but I am so not a Sex in the City type girl so cleaning the garage will have to do it for me right now! He says he has lost his libido which our therapist says is a typical indication of depression and/ or drug use. ??
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I've refered to the discovery of a PA as "the ultimate cold shower".
Really took the edge of any desires I may have had for a while, and I am well within the "highly sexed personality" archetype.
However, as someone upthread mentioned, days turning into weeks turning into months has certainly gotten me more motivated to "get back on the horse". Unfortunately, the stable is empty, and with all the working out I have been doing, I'm kind of afraid of hurting myself (wink wink, nudge nudge).
So far I have resisted 3 real possibles and 1 sure thing. I still haven't wavered, but let's hope something changes before too much longer.
Hang in there walkingcliche! Great name BTW. Staying faithful in your M will definitely be an asset in a potential reconciliation. I always think about the famous "Break" from Friends where Ross thought it was OK to have sex during the break and Rachel considered that grounds for a permanent break up. Funny in TV Land but awful in Real Life.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I don't think having indiscriminate sex will bring anyone running back to you. And if it does, is that the reason you want someone coming back? I think you really have to think about how long your relationship will last if your spouse is with you only because you had sex with another person. Personally, if I knew my spouse were out having sex with others I would be disgusted. And if I could get over the thought of it I would still be concerned about AIDS and every other STD. Not exactly what I would want on my mind when trying to enjoy an intimate evening with my spouse!
There is always hope if I'm responsible for my own behavior.
It is so ironic. I avoided sex while we were married because my H's anger and depression was such a turn off. Now that he is gone, I really miss sex. Why is that? He and I have made jokes that I want him now because I cannot have him. He laughed, "Typical for a woman!" I really think it could be like when we were teenagers again if he came back, do ya know what I mean? That is ironic too because that is one of the major reasons he left and now neither one of us is getting any (hopefully if he is honest)! Stupid. I watched a show on sex toys but I am so not a Sex in the City type girl so cleaning the garage will have to do it for me right now!
oh, c'mon, even charlotte fell for the rabbit. and its soo much better than cleaning the garage. besides, once the garage is clean, well, there is all that free time. hee.
but yeah, its not exactly the same. and of course you miss sex...you probably missed it when H was available, but who wants sex with an angry/depressed guy?
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
I've refered to the discovery of a PA as "the ultimate cold shower".
Really took the edge of any desires I may have had for a while, and I am well within the "highly sexed personality" archetype.
However, as someone upthread mentioned, days turning into weeks turning into months has certainly gotten me more motivated to "get back on the horse". Unfortunately, the stable is empty, and with all the working out I have been doing, I'm kind of afraid of hurting myself (wink wink, nudge nudge).
So far I have resisted 3 real possibles and 1 sure thing. I still haven't wavered, but let's hope something changes before too much longer.
see, for me, it was the opposite. I started craving touch so much it hurts. I'm not sure I'd hurt myself, but whoa to the other person.
love your name, btw. its exactly how I feel.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
morgan- its not easy 4 sure ..ive been on the abstinence train for a while now and i find while you do miss it there are certain things you can do to make due in the interim....among these are exercising and certainly the one you suggested at the end of your post....i am not up on the details of your sitch but would be curious to find out how you are doing otherwise...read my thread(s) if you can and i would be happy to assist you in any way i can....BT
ME-47 WAW-42 S16 S8 bomb 5/5/06 separated 10/6/06 D 4/18/07
I did not even think about it (sex) when we were unhappily married. Now all I wish for is a happy marriage and the sex that should dgo along with one. I do not want to go out and start all over in the dating world. I know it will be easy for me to be tempted. He has rejected me to the point of wanting to be with other men but it is very hard as a mom. I think it is much easier for the man. Sorry to sound sexist, but I have a toddler crawling in my bed after the sun comes up every morning and Legos on my bedroom floor. He has all night to stay out and get drunk with his buddies and go fishing all weekend. Rant over.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I told my W that I really didn't care if we did it anymore. I actually said i was okay with a sexless M. Now that we're separated all I think about is being with her.
I would never go out and try to satisfy that need though because that would make me no different than her.
