I believe that image you described is the same one I imagine. Only it's not Bruce on the Ipod it is some new band that he has no idea what the words to the songs are but all the 20 somethings are listening to it..!!
I think the YMCA where he works out is probably filled with Capt. Insano-s !
I saw a cartoon of a middle aged guy pushing a carriage that read "midlife dad with trophy kids" I started laughing and the person with me didn't get the cartoon.... oh well when she is old enough she will ! !
hb2
m24 yrs h 50 me 47 s 21 s 17 left 5-30-06, and 12-4-06 still gone.............
They really are a piece of work aren't they? I should have known something was up when he started shopping for cologne when before he would say "Just get me some after shave at the store". It is as if I have been living with a stranger since last Oct, one that jogs, smells good and wears new underwear.. I think you are right , half the gyms in the US are filled with Cap. Isanos. It helps to get a chuckle out of this whole mess. Blessings, Violets
Grace, my C agreed with you about the snooping and said it was making matters worse. I think one reason I can't get past the anger is because I don't want to break down and cry.I would rather be angry with him than to show him any weakness on my part by crying. Snooping keeps the anger stirred up. It is counter productive and I am not going to access the statements again.
I think the stage of snooping and finding answers is something we go through. I did it intensely for a while had to find answers. Yes the anger well... it is there and again I believe with time it lessens. Sometimes you have to cry you have to get it all out in order to move forward.
you can't hold it all inside.
Someone told me that the anger I felt a few months ago when I found out OW was back again was going to protect my heart. That it happens for a reason but we can't let it consume us.
hb2
m24 yrs h 50 me 47 s 21 s 17 left 5-30-06, and 12-4-06 still gone.............
I guess anger does protect us in that it allows us to shut off. I'm trying to bridge that chasm myself. I haven't found that it really helps me. One of the things I do when I get angry or am just feeling down is go for a walk. Usually a fairly long one (5 miles or so) and if I need to, I talk to myself and I've been known to cry and talk and walk all at the same time. Multi-talented, yep that's me. Letting the feelings out by crying (or whatever works for you) is not a sign of weakness IMO. It means you have the passion to feel and the strength to get it out and move on.
Yesterday was a good day and we went shopping for b'day presents for our DIL and it was also my H. B'day (today). He wouldn't buy himself anything( I told him to pick himself something because I didn't know what to get) . He said he would rather buy something for me. I didn't want anything. We babysat the grandkids last night and the stress of the day today got to be too much for me to handle. I kicked him out again. I don't know if this is the 3rd Sunday in a row but I know it is 2 Sundays. Sunday was always family day with me fixing a big dinner and everyonw sitting around and talking or playing outside. I know everyone wants them to come to their senses but when they do there is sooooo much to deal with. He broke it off and hasn't talked to her since but I wish he had told her that it meant nothing and he was out of his mind and on and on. They played this out and didn't care who they hurt and now I am just supposed to sit back and deal with it.There is no closure for me. Only him looking pathetic and saying how sorry he is and me wanting to bite nails and and spit them in his direction. I know my family could sense the tension and I feel bad because I have a difficult time hiding my feelings although I try to act as if everything is ok. Well, another Sunday shot to hell. I know I feel better if I try to forget about it and talk to him, but I don't want to make things too eassy for him either and I am angry. This morning I asked some deatils about the A. and he was honest and it set the mood for the whole day. I don't know if it is good to know details because they are in your mind forever. Thanks for listening, Violets
I am feeling kind of bad about kicking him out again. I am such an emotional wreck right now I can;t sleep and have nightmares whether he is here or not. This is torture.
Let me ask you this, do you think knowing the details of the A helps you in some way? If so, how? I know you wanted him to tell her it meant nothing and he was nuts, but let's be real here. It did mean something. That doesn't mean it was love and for that matter it could've just meant he was angry or disappointed with you. The point is he's at home. Does he want (and is he willing) to do whatever it takes to work it out? If he is, that says alot. Yes, this is torture and it sux. Apparently the only way out is through the looking glass. The big question there, is what's on the other side.
Knowing details does not help me. It only makes me feel worse and more angry and depressed at the same time. I think at this point he would do anything to mend it and have some normalcy in his life. HE keeps asking me what he can do to help me and I just say "nothing". I can't think of anything that he could possibly do to help me feel better. In some ways I think it would have been easier if he had left with her because the decision would be out of my hands and I would have to go on with my life, but as it is I am the one who has to make the choice. Your're right Grace, this sux. Next week our new grandbaby will be baptized and we will be there and it is just so hard to go through this. Thanks for helping me to think a little instead of just reacting to my emotions. I feel like a mean 10 yr. old.
Glad to hear your session went well. I have a DB coach, but don't see a C. I do find it really helpful.