So I say, well I want your feedback on the SUV, you want it huh? That isn’t a problem at all, can you tell me why though? She laughs, I can’t afford the gas “I think I was testing you.”
LOL! Do you have ESP or something?! Didn't you say you thought that this was a test? That is just scary!
Sounds like the talk went pretty well, and I'm stoked that you had an epiphany about meeting her needs (i.e. caring for her). Did you ever figure out what it was she originally wanted to talk about?
Stoked for your continued progress, Atlas -- and vent here when you need to and you won't feel that weight of the world on your shoulders when your feeling down! .
I know about the test thing, just seems scary, glad I saw it for what it was. Keep my ears open.
I never figured out what she wanted to talk about, I hope she wasn't just feeding my crap to make me feel better. It would suck if I found she had something negative to add.
Another thing I forgot. When I went downtown I ran into some people who work in my old building. They are a pet rescure group. Got a name and email to give the dog up. I just can't watch her sit out back all day, with no family to play with her.
Well I brought this news up to W. She reacted to it. "Why do you need to do that?" "Can't she stay her for now?" Remember she got the dog, not me. I came home from a river trip to the new dog. Well I might be reading into this to much, but she seems to want her to stay, so I guess that will be a gesture. Better keep her and make time for her.
Well I got paid today from some work, and it was more then expected, so W and I have talked about with the D and Seperation, child support. I will give her some money tomorrow and that should help out. She keeps saying though that the money will only go towards him, but there is no way to spend all that on him. I told her he lives at her place most of the time, eats the food. So spend it on the things you two need. Any extra, have a blast with him. She keeps saying no, but laughed when I said he really likes skee ball.
W called and asked if I could watch S until tomorrow morning and then bring him to her place, she wants to go to a bacheloret party with some girls she recently met. DB’ed ahead, said no problem, have a good time. Told me she was excited because these girls seemed nice, she has hung out with them before, and she thinks she needs girlfriends and not guy friends. Made me feel good there, but maybe she is blowing smoke. I felt that I pushed last night and shouldn’t have so I asked if she was alright from last night, and she said yes, and that it gave her a good perspective but she said she felt pushed. She told me that she felt like things were going well but I have to give her time. Need to back off. The good thing is I have to say I have not heard that tone in her voice in a long time, calmed me down better than a smoke. She really sounded excited about tonight and to talk to me. If I found I was getting snowed, I would have WC on the phone so fast to get the “5 the hard way” manual.
Well I have the first IC session tonight and 5ll showed last night, so with S and all that, I think I’ll be pretty busy tonight. It would be nice to just watch a single stage of the tour from the start to finish… Got to keep priorities straight and want my family and partner in crime back ASAP. Patients, Ok OK!
One thing that is really bothering me is the time and patience I’m expected to exert. I would say things seem to be getting to an agreement quicker than usual, but I’m trying to fight back the bitterness of what she is doing to our R and S. I have noticed as of late the shear amount of WAW in this age group, and I feel like I’m dealing with a 17 year old boy. It just feels like she sees the world right now, not next week, a year or 5, but only right now. Do whatever I want to gratify myself and there aren’t any consequences. That is the only way I can explain, a 17 year old boy. Probably the view is skewed from my perspective.
I feel like I’m dealing with a 17 year old boy. It just feels like she sees the world right now, not next week, a year or 5, but only right now. Do whatever I want to gratify myself and there aren’t any consequences.
LOL, to a large extent I think you're right about that. At first at least. Once things start slowing down and they have time to really reflect, however, I believe they do start looking at the future more. Can't say for sure though, but I do agree with you quite a bit here.
I need help and advice tonight! I'm in a bad place.
Like I have said, trying to be unbiased, so far everything W has told me checks out. Well she is at the bacheloret party tonight that just came up with her new girlfriends. I have not meet, seen, or no of them what so ever.
Well earlier today, I got a call that was odd, the caller id was preprogramed in. It sounded like a VOIP, and the call was just weird. Guy seemed to try and get me to talk but was asking for the wrong person.
Tonight, I have the S, and we are out side watering the flowers on the house. I come in give him a bath, and notice I have a VM. Check it and they didn't leave a VM. I call it back and it is a guy, sounds about my age, named Brian. Not the Brian I know. Didn't leave a message. No call return at this point. Checked the prefix and it matches the area where another OM has shown up at.
I have a bad feeling about this, I'm really in a bad place. I'm supposed to drop S off prior to work, but I think I'm being set up to meet OM at the door tomorrow. Remember, everything she is saying so far seems sincere, and checks out. BUT, when she asked me for cash to file the divorce a while ago, I told her it was her D and she had to pay it.
I am thinking she is trying to set me up so that I file, by running into a morning after.
No matter what I'll keep my cool. I'm not leaving my S there if this happens.
WTF???
Am I just losing it, or should I be worried? What do I do?
Am I just losing it, or should I be worried? What do I do?
Atlas -- you're going to drive yourself mad doing this stuff! Who cares?! Obviously I know you do, but you CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT YOUR W CHOOSES TO DO!!! You can't control her actions, decisions, etc. Personally, I think you're blowing this WAY out of proportion (is your W really that vindictive. I mean really?). You're wasting your time and energy worrying about this stuff, and in addition to that you're playing detective, and if you confront W with things like this or begin acting jealous and insecure, you're going to push W away more and do more harm than good.
I don't think you should worry about this, and the biggest reason is because it will not do you any good to. The other big reason is because I believe you're making a mountain out of a mole hill here. Just trust your W until she gives you the reason not to. She has been honest about these OM's, and I'm not sure if I know of a WAW who would be as forthcoming about the things your W has.
Relax and focus on you and what you can control! You're carrying all that worldly weight again Atlas -- stop it!
Most of what we worry about never comes to pass. Remember that.
One tactic that has helped me, I simply try to think ahead to the courtroom (if it ever actually gets that far). Say you do walk into a "morning after", how will that look to the judge? Got a camera?
The "17 year old boy" thing fits very well for those of us dealing with WAW's in this age group, IMO. You just have to be the adult, and assure yourself that you can have the last laugh if you want it. DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY! Don't start looking forward to slamming her in court, just know that you are trying to do the right thing no matter what choices she makes.
Shoot me an e-mail anytime, maybe we can link up by phone and really get each other into trouble. I have a lot more tricks than just the "5".
P.S. I am so glad my diet does not let me drink coke.
Originally Posted By: Atlas
2) whomever is helping her, there combined IQ actually drops.
I won't even knock you for the spelling error, that had me crying (and in a good way for a change).
I hear the mind getting carried away thing loud and clear. I do that to my self all of the time. It can be maddening. It is almost like self torture. Yeah, I am not saying be blind to what is going on, if it presents itself. But the speculating, the creating of all of these scenarios in my mind, its not worth it. What it really boils down to anyhow, I have zero control over what she does anyhow. I do however have control as to how I react. So the balance is how to be prepared for any eventuallity, without torturing my own mind with all the things I cannot control.
subject change.........
I just looked in on my daughter who is sleeping in the other room. I really feel bad that she has to go through all of this [censored]. I need to be the best father.....best man I can be for that child.
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