Careful on stereo typing, you may want to say SPOUSES. I make sure all the dishes are washed and put away, clean the sink (she points out any speck if food left there). She gets upset if there are dirty dishes in the sink when she gets home. By the way there are ALWAYS dirty dishes in the sink when I get home. Wash and fold the clothes, (only time I get to touch her underwear). Vacuum pick up son from where ever and take him where ever. Mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, Repair anything in the house (ours and my MIL’s) take care of my MIL’s Yard and take care our cars and yard. All before the W gets home. This is after I got up at 2:45 am and went to work for 8 hours.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Maybe you should quit doing it all & see how she likes that? Maybe she needs to be doing some of those things too!!! Seriously!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Funny thing is when we met. Her condo was spotless. She had everything in its place. Now If I don't do it. (Except for the clothes) it does get done but boy is she in a bad mood.
I really don't mind doing it. But (now I feel like housewife) it would be nice hear some appreciation form her. Sometimes I wonder maybe I would get more respect from women if I treated them more like objects instead of people. If I treated her like one of my tools that I could live with out and If I needed it again I could just go get another. She would have been on the defense and would have been worried about losing me instead.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Thats it maybe you spoiled her too much from the get go & now she always expects it. Maybe YOU should be the WAH for a change & I am sure she will start to realize how good she has it.
just got a e-card from the "person" It's hard becase I like helping people. I'm a fricken pisces. but the way my scope for today:
You thought that you and your darling were on the same channel, but now you're hearing a bunch of static. Relax -- this situation is just temporary. Forcing a solution won't help. Be patient and wait it out.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I have to agree that, maybe if you quit doing everything for W, she would realize how much you really do and realize how good she has it.
For awhile there, before H dropped D bomb, he felt he was doing a bunch around the house to "make things easier for me" -- as in he would do things around the house while I did other things around the house and tended to the boys, etc. I also think that he was hoping that this might free up some of my time to focus on HIM. But, if you (or my H) are doing things like that, but the other person doesn't realize that's why you're doing them, the end result isn't going to be what you might want it to be. There's that mind reading thing again
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Thanks everybody! Can't say it's always easy given what we've been through, but I'm hopeful things are truly going to be ok.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Crap, I'm having a BAD day. I'm pretty sure I'm just PMS'ing (good excuse), but I'm having a horrible time w/ the boys. I just have absolutely no patience.
Then I think about H and, no matter how well things are going, sometimes I just want to rail at him!! I don't expect to rehash our sitch w/ him, but sometimes it just p*sses me off how to him nothing ever happened. Sometimes the things he said & did during the D sitch creep back in and it just infuriates me that I just have to suck it up & move on b/c now things are hunky dory for him.
I know, I know, I'm whining, but I'm just having "one of those days." Just venting. Getting it all out.
You know, he even told me at one point that he had consulted w/ a D lawyer and then we found out I was pregnant w/ S1 (our 3rd boy). He was a very nice surprise, we'll say. Anyway, then during the D sitch, he said that he just KNEW that I got pregnant w/ him on one of our "ok, hurry up & get it over w/" sex nights and whenever he looked at S1 that's what he thought about. How sh*tty is that??? I know he doesn't feel that way anymore, but it's crap like that that creeps back in at times.
The fact that, back then, he told me it didn't bother him one bit thinking of me w/ someone else. Now, he "misses me to pieces" and I have to think what about all the crap you put me through?
Ok, I'm done. Got it all out. I'm just going to put the boys to bed early tonight and tomorrow will be better
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
