Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy OM/PA, MLC and the hits keep coming............Pt2

Hey Husband,

Just got back from the shops, got myself a few things for my work trip next week (got a call up to go to Western Australia, Perth).

Leaving Mon morning for a few weeks. Need the break. I was going to talk to W and remind her of the agreement we had in regards to OM never visiting our home. I am concerned that whilst I am away it will be a "free for all".

I don't care what she does away from myself and DD and our home, but after finding out that he has visited several times whilst I was away gave me the sh-ts big time.

I wonder how I should word it without letting her know that I will find him and rip his head off if he sets foot in my home again. Also, I think he has been driving my car, it is a V8 statesman, top of the range with leather etc. This would piss me off as well.

I just wish that our W's would have a little respect for us. I have not asked for anything other than keeping OM out of my personal space, including our family home and family car (passenger okay, just not driving it).

Am I being too much of a bastard?

Husband,

I sent you the book via e-mail. Hope it helps you like it helped me. It even helped me get through w's A w/ OM. Now I am detached and don't need her only prefer her. Let me know what you think about it. It's only 100 pages and easy reading. The book has a lot of typos and he repeats a lot of the stories. Good reading though!

I really hope this weekend for you is a success! We are all hoping to hear good things for you and your W. I would really like to have someone in our group be a success story.

As for me, my wife is still the unsufferable B$tch. Even though, I just keep smiling and understand she is an Alien, not my W. I also understand there are millions of other beautiful women who are more than happy for a guy like me. I would just prefer my W since we've raised 3 kids.

I saw that you've used prayer for strength. I found that it has also helped me in this rough time. Reading, prayer, ears that will listen and this board are all helping me through my personal hell. Now I understand that happiness comes from with in and if my W can't find it w/ me, she won't find it w/ anyone else unless she looks inside for her happiness. Hopefully, God will help her understand this before she totally destroys our family.

I am about to get served this month for divorce. She is really serious about D and about OM. I just pray to God that they fall apart before she does some character assasination and uses the kids as pawns.

WAW,

It's as if we are living a parallel life. Your sitch is developing in the same way as mine.

Fingers crossed buddy, hopefully the "shelf life" of the R with OM will expire sooner than later.

AndyV

Andyv,

I know your sitch wasn't directed at me but I must admire the amount of restraint you possess! I'm not being fecicious. If I found out OM came to my house, possibly met my kids, I would be furious! I wouldn't confront him but I would be badmouthing the B$stard on this board to high heaven.

And if he is even in your car that would be a real respect problem your wife has. As it is, my W is driving around OM in the sportscar she made me buy her(2004 350Zconvertible). It pisses me off that she now won't even let me drive it!!! I'm stuck w/ the minivan! Guess how many dates I'll be getting w/ that!

Anyway, I forwarded a copy of the book STop your divorce to Husband. If he likes it maybe he can send you a copy if you want. I'm almost to the point of letting it happen if my W does want it. I'm pretty fed up w her lack of respect too! She doesn't even call my DD9 at night to say goodnight. And when my DD9 calls, she doesn't usually take the call or call back. What a B$tch huh?

Mate, I hear you.

My W has been away with OM on a romantic getaway for over a week, and she has only spoken to DD7 once, that was when I called her for DD.

I think she is swept up in the euphoria of romance with a younger man, that she has forgotten everyone else, even her own daughter.

Don't worry WAW, I was ropeable when I found out he had visited, but I am thinking more of DD and behaving well for an amicable divorce. Keep your enemy's close, including your W.

As far as OM goes, I am sort of hoping that he stuffs up and oversteps my boundary. Not being nasty, but it would give me an excuse to pummel him (I am an ex Rugby player, 6'3" tall and he is around 5'11 and muppet like, but he does instruct kick boxing). It would be a bit hard to kick with broken kneecaps

Okay, so the above para is a bit extreme. But thats how I feel at this time.

we will watch your back Andy

Husband

Andyv,

You would be well w/in your rights to give him a thorough pummeling if he deserves it. In terms of overstepping boundaries, much like my sitch, I don't think they could be overstepped any more than they already have(W and OM). But I see your point, he definitely shouldn't be in contact w/ dd and under no circumstances should OM ever be permitted to drive another man's ride. He would definitely be looking for a muppet mashing.

I just hope this hell you and I are going thru is over soon. I'm ready to move on w/ my life instead of this limbo. I'm not divorced, I'm not legally separated and I'm still living w/ a woman that is called my W, but doesn't resemble anything other than an irresponsible, inconsiderate, cheating, lying, money-wasting female. It's no wonder I'm not in a hurry to get her back! See all the good my other book has done for me!!? I'm ready to move on!

WAW,

Funny enough, when the LBS has had enough, that is when they come to their senses. Every sitch has a common denominator, and this is one of them.

Hey andyv.

Check your E-Mail

Husband

Update.

W got back last night (dropped off by girlfriend, seems OM is scared sh-tl-ss of crossing paths and dropped her off at GF's).

As soon as she got in, she brought up that she got a job offer in Melbourne (thats where she went with OM, she actually admitted she was in Melb and not Canberra, big first for her not to lie).

Tongue in cheek, I told her "Gee, DD will sure miss you."

Then she went off like Musolini on the balcony, about never leaving DD and not accepting the offer etc etc WTF, why bring it up.

I told her that I was going to Perth for a couple of weeks, and re-iterated "boundaries", and the line of work I am in, it would be easy to find out if OM had visited our home or driven my car etc.

She re-assured me that it would not happen, she understands and thanks me for handling things the way I have. Funny thing is, the whole time she could not stop looking me up and down, the same way you would a prospective mate. It was pretty obvious.

I told her that I would make things as easy as possible for her (divorce) as long as we kept it civil etc, she agreed.

Then whilst I was on the phone to a friend, she came in and thanked me for looking after DD and for doing stuff around the house, so she had nothing to worry about when she got home. This was probably the most sincere thank you she has given me in over 12 months.

So either she is well and truly happy with OM after thier trip and is looking forward to her life with him, or maybe the trip was not as great as she thought.

I am out to dinner with friends tonight and again tomorrow night. I will continue doing what I have been doing in regards to GALing as I think I have finally reached a peace and acceptance of my sitch, and as long as she sticks to her word in regards to our agreement, I cant see myself worrying any more about her, OM or the future.

There will be a "positive" at the end, regardless of whether we remain with our S's or move on.

All my best,
AndyV