Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? It is finally out, he wants a D

I understand being lonely. When my H has the kids every other weekend it's sooo quiet around here. Never know what I'm supposed to do with myself. I mean I've had kids around for 11 years. There's a difference in getting a sitter so you and your H can go out and being all alone for 2 days.

Mine has said from the get go he is going to struggle as much as me. At the moment I don't have a job. Searching for one but at least he has a job. Oh well.

Last couple of days he's emailed me just because. Course when I respond he doesn't talk back but it makes me think just maybe he hasn't given up completely. Time will tell I guess.

I agree, I have had kids for 11 yrs. But all my life I have hated being alone. When I lived at home my parents went on a cruise. Only time in my life they went on vac alone. I was so afraid I had my H sleep over at the time--on the sofa of course. I was either 19 or 20 I forget.

They came home yesterday dinnertime. He went out for the night. Everything seemed fairly normal, as does today. we are declining the family picnic to stay at home--I thought that was unusual for him! A friend from work is coming over. A little too cool for the pool, but a beautiful day. I've loved these days around here lately (PA) as I haven't had to run the A/C as much as usual so that saves on the electric bill. Plus it is just nicer this way.

How's the weather in Kentucky? Pretty Hot I would suppose. I don't think I have ever been to your state. Nashville a few times. FLA of course. GA, VA, CA, CO, and probably a few more. I travel for Home Interiors each year. One job I love.

Oh, my monkey bread is ringing, have to take it out of the oven. Tastes best hot!

Hope you can have a good 4th!

Yeah I've never liked trying to do things alone either. Even going out to eat at Taco Bell. I'd rather get it and bring it home to eat.

Mine stopped by after work yesterday. The reason he gave me for wanting to come over was so made up. Well maybe not in his mind but it really was. And he works and now lives across town so it's not like it was on his way either. Any way I got to see him though he didn't talk to me much. He did however email alot yesterday. Small steps hopefully.

It's supposed to get to like 92 today. At the moment it's cloudy and doesn't feel too bad out. Looks like it might rain but they're saying not and if it does it'll be tonight.

What is monkey bread?

Hope yours is good as well. Miss my H like mad but at least I'm the one that has the kids today.

Hey HSSweethart,

How bad is the loneliness for you when your kids are gone? I think that you may be similar to my W. She is really attached to D3. She always misses her and hates to be without her. I am just trying to see what she may be experiencing when I have D3. My W is seeing how difficult this is for D3 being all emotional. I have kept stating to her that D3 needs stability, she is torn and she wants to be with both of us, but that is not going to work RIGHT NOW. I just wonder if my W is starting to reconsider and wake up to reality. I will read through your sitch to see what advice that I can offer to you.

Been wondering that all day. My sons nickname is Monkey, bet he would like it.

Monkey Bread, I knew you would ask, is the best! Pillsbury was advertising on tv with the doughboy for a while as cinnamon pull apart bread. Real easy to make and wonderful!

4 tubes buttermilk biscuits
2/3 c sugar (2 times)
1 stick butter
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla

Mix vanilla, butter, 1 tsp cinnamon and 2/3 sugar in pan and melt slowly.

Cut all the biscuits into 4ths. Put 2/3 c sugar and 1 tsp cinnamon in bowl and drop the cut biscuits into it. With airtight lid on shake until they are coated. THen put them in a greased bundt pan. Continue until all are coated. Pour any remaining sugar/cinn in bundt pan. Then pour the melted mixture all over the top. Cook at 350 for 40-45 minutes. When you take it out it will be drippy and searing hot. Best when hot but not scalding. Just pull apart the pieces with your fingers and enjoy! Quick and inexpensive to make and everyone loves it when I bring it to parties, events.

Yum sounds good. May just have to try it one of these days.

On another non-recipe note. My H is sleeping at his sister's house to watch her dog last night and tonite. It hasn't been bad lately, mostly because he hasn't been bringing up the topic lately. Thought about the sleepover he commented that it will be "practice" for him. I wanted to hit him. Why does he always feel the need to comment???

I am very lonely when my family is not around. I am not an active person and even if I find something I like to do, GAL, I always would rather be doing stuff with them. When I had a boyfriend as a teenager I stopped seeing my friends for the most part as that was my focus. It hasn't changed. When I am with someone that is who I want to be with. To my H however, I am one in a long list-and it seems I keep getting pushed further to the end of the list!

I took today off to save on babysitting charges so the kids and I are just hanging out. Guess I should get up and shower, but who feels like it. D7 tells me we need to go food shopping. Didn't tell her I have no $ at the moment. Trying to keep my spirits up and let things slide. Just acting "AS IF" as much as I can for now, it is like a defense mechanism to survive. But I haven't reached the hard part of this yet--and the kids don't know yet. That will be the hardest.

Yeah sometimes when they talk they can really sound hurtfull. The thing I keep trying to think about is you aren't supposed to believe what they say. Cause their feelings are just as up and down as ours.

My H will pick up our kids tonight and have them thru Sunday so I'm trying to figure out what to do this weekend. I've been trying some 180's and not talking unless he talks to me. And then I'm trying to keep the conversation away from us. This week he has emailed me every day but Wednesday. This whole week he's been making comments like he's been thinking but not as obvious as he may want to come home. His latest one being since we live in 2 seperate places one of us must be difficult. He never brings up wanting a D or how we're getting one. And since I've stopped pushing him I haven't heard how he can't come home or we can never be together again. Who knows. I take it one day at a time and hope that he is thinking.

Yeah AS IF can be hard but I keep coming back to HE'S the one that keeps talking to me. He said the other day it was weird to be typing to me but on the other hand he was used to it but... When I said something about him sounding confused he said why because for 11 years I was used to you and now I'm not supposed to be.... So I keep hoping and praying one day he'll come all the way around.

Just need to work on us and focus on our kids and get to the point that no matter what the outcome we'll be okay. I haven't gotten that far yet but I'm working on it.

Your situation sound sooo much like my first separation in 05. SO much. He never mentioned the D word then. Came back in 90 days for the kids I am sure, not me. Now I count the good days when we are not talking about "things". I have been getting things for the house. New curtains, toilet seat, etc. Not that I can really afford them. Figure I better do it now because once he moves I won't spend the money.

Really hot here today, 96 they said. Will have to go swimming in our pool. The kids love that. D7 is a fish. Seeing her reminds me of how summers were when you were a kid. Not a care in the world, just enjoyment of summer. Ahh, to go there again.