She has compounded the issue with real world consequences. Babies don't deserve it. Maybe she will give it up to someone who really wants a child. Once upon a time that would ahave been me...but I would never want to raise a child solo...a child needs both: mother and father. I grew up in that secure cocoon and I have always felt loved...I know I was always loved and wanted.
Maybe now is the time to counsel her to think about her choices (NOT abortion)....clearly the OM is in it for the good times...doubt if he will want the baggage. Be her friend in this. Offer her solutions...even though you KNOW you won't take her back.
It is not the end all. God is trying to tell you something.
Vali
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
She has compounded the issue with real world consequences. Babies don't deserve it. Maybe she will give it up to someone who really wants a child. Once upon a time that would ahave been me...but I would never want to raise a child solo...a child needs both: mother and father. I grew up in that secure cocoon and I have always felt loved...I know I was always loved and wanted.
Maybe now is the time to counsel her to think about her choices (NOT abortion)....clearly the OM is in it for the good times...doubt if he will want the baggage. Be her friend in this. Offer her solutions...even though you KNOW you won't take her back.
It is not the end all. God is trying to tell you something.
Vali
She won't do an abortion or at least she wouldn't have in the past but who knows now. She may give the baby up when this finally hits her but right now she is saying she is going to keep the baby.
About the only message I can get out of this mess is don't walk.......run LOL
OMG I don't know what to say other than God only gives you what you can handle. Just when we think our sitch is so bad and couldn't get any worse you read someone else's and just stand there and say WOW!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Lawless, I'm so glad you are handling this so well. I know I would be a mess if this happened to me. It is such a sad story. That poor baby will be the loser in this, I'm sure. I can't imagine a 24 year old guy sticking around and doing the right thing - not when he has been doing the wrong thing by having an A with a married woman. I guess your W will soon find out what kind of guy he really is.
Please make sure you are okay with all of this. It is a lot to take and your feelings are likely to be all over the place (as they should be). Have you talked to a C about any of this yet?
M:32 W:26 Kids: None Cats: 2 Together: 9 years Married: May 2005 Bomb: September 2006 Sep: November 2006
KML asked me to look in on you. Sounds like you are doing well with this turn in events. I understand exactly how you are feeling. My STBX is pregnant and due next month. She is living with OM and they are planning to be married once both of their divorces are done. My daughters have embraced the idea of having a new brother. My STBX and her OM are living on the system. They both don't work and get welfare/subsidized housing and the like. I agree with you that you can't help her, but you need to help your kids. Make sure that this will not effect your feelings for them or your relationship with them. Your children need to know that you are there for them and that they have at least one parent who isn't flaking out on them.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. I hoped that I was the only one, but I knew that couldn't be true.
TD
TwinDragon Thread #11-Dragon, flying - evaluating his world.
I haven't been to a C ever during this whole ordeal although I did make damn sure my kids got in to see one when we separated. I seem to get alot more from this board than any C could provide. I think I would be going crazy but for the fact that I gave up on her some time ago.
TwinDragon,
My W is currently supporting the OM in this case but it sure wouldn't surprise me if they ended up milking the system in the future. My sitch is just a little different than yours in the fact that I have sole custody of my kids, I am so happy I fought for that now. The kids are a little excited about this but I am definatly not looking forward to the future. I see some bizarre sort of blending going on with her wanting the kids to spend time together. This doesn't work for me, you see she has supervised visitation so I'll end up having to put up with this other kid in one way or another.
My GF called awhile ago and I let her know W was pregnant, she jumped in her car and came over right away. I could see she was nervous and after some talk she asked if the baby was mine. I LOL at that and assured her it was definatly not mine. I told her I wasn't having sex with my W and that I wouldn't do that to her. She was very relieved because she thought perhaps W and I were getting back together.
Funny how we think after we've been around the block a couple of times.
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