Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy would like some advice

Yoyo,
I'm sorry for your hurt also. I wish nobody would ever have to go through this.

Tonight I asked her if she would read a little, (i didnt tell it is DB and DR) I said it wasnt something I wrote(I smothered her early on w/things i wrote). I want her to read the begining of the books when they talk about how bad it can seem and still be worth saving, and having a great future.
She said she would tomarrow.
Now I need to pick a realy good part.

Or is this bad for our relationship?

Goodness, I don't know what to tell you. My H has been so closed minded that I don't think anything or anyoneccould change his mind about our M. So I can't really say. You know they say that they get all defensive when you try to tell them things, but then there are parts of the book where it says that some showed their spouses and it opened their eyes.

I think if I had to pick parts for them to read it would be how divorce effects the whole family and also how you have to heal your own hurts, that finding someone new won't help. You know the part where it says if you remarry without fixing your individual problems then you have 4 unhappy people.

Sorry, I'm certainly no expert my sitch has not improved at all. I'm at the point where I've gone dark, galing, and looking out for my future and my DD's because of the D.

Take care, I didn't mean to ramble.

Yoyo

Just got back from the lake. Wife showed up as we were eating. We were already there for couple hours. The kids finished first and went back in the water. I was kind of staring at W and she said what. I paused then said she looked beautiful. She acted shy then said thanks. We had one of those conversations that don't go anywhere. At the end of that I said I would like to say one more thing then lets talk about something else. I said that my feelings for her haven't changed in the past 3 years(when we got back together). She said that her feeling have also not changed for me. I started crying under my sun glasses. She said I didn't mean it in a bad way. After I collected myself I said thats why this is so wrong. Now is the bad part. She said but, I'm tired of feeling this way and waiting for you to change or make me feel like you love me... we haven't had the passion.

Not sure what else was said but she is still going through with this to see if it is worth pursuing,((If he is willing to move here, If he is ok with kids, if they have that connection))

She said she would still read the part I want her to in DB and DR tonight.
This doesn't sound like the 180's anymore.

Any uplifting advice woould be appreciated.
Ok any advice would be appreciated.

perviously during our conversation at the lake she said i'm suprised you haven't found anyone else. I told her I have no desire to see anyone, I love her. Thats when I rasured her that I have been serious about our ralationship these past few years and not let myself join in on inapropriate conversations especially at work. And there are plenty of them. I have just walked away when I feel like I am being included in them.

PS She is still and has been on the phone with him for 3 1/2 hours now since we've been home. She is in the basement, she came up once to get her charger.

I just thought of something.
last night I noticed that she recorded quallifying on the dvr.
baby step?
This morning I wanted to delete some things to have room for nascar racing tonight. I asked if I could delete some of her shows and she came in and deleted a bunch of her stuff and also commented that she recorded qualifing yesterday for me.

I like to thing there is still hope.

Had a conversation today after supper(that she brought up)about how I felt about what she was doing and What I thought about it. Not exactly sure of the difference but I thought it went well.
Just now she walked by to get something from the bathroom and I brought up our conversation, probably shouldn't have, she said that those talks are for repairing a marrage and she didn't want that right now. She said even if this stuff with EA wouldn't have happeded I wouldn't want to fix our marrage right now. I told her that she doesn't have to go on Teusday she said I know I don't have to but I am.

Help

Is there anything I can say to my wife to stop her from meeting OM 7/10/07?
IA started 4/07.

She has doubts about him but has to know if there is a chance w/him.

She wishes he was only coming for a few days not a week.
He tells her that everything is going to be great.
She says how can you say that w/out meeting first.
He is traveling half way accross US to meet her.
She is driving 3 hours to meet him.
She doesn't tell me that she wants a divorse.


I am very desperate for any advice.

Yesterday I showed her my favorite picture of her on my phone. It was taken 7/8/06 when we were camping in SD riding a bycicle built for four around the lake.
She said why couldn't you have showed me these things before.


Is there still hope for us?

Now she is not going at this time. Our daughter is dialated to 2 and could deliver soon. My wife doesnt want to miss it.

As much as I didn't want her to go, I would have rather her gotten it overwith.

I asked if she had another date in mind. She said later and she would probably go there. If he isn't sick of all this by then.

thanks

Sorry, I missed your thread here.

Have you asked her what she thinks it would take for you to do that would show her that you love her?
What is she looking for from you?