Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy OM/PA, MLC and the hits keep coming............Pt2

Andyv,

I'm glad to hear you are doing well. My wife is currently still angry and still carrying on A w/ OM. She is even looking up wedding locations according to the computer history.

Even though you have no feelings about her R w/ OM, I'm sorry for your DD. My wife hasn't mentioned OM to my kids yet but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. In my case, this 22 yr old OM should be running for the hills when he meets my kids. They're not brats but the reality of it should hit home when you have to take care of kids that aren't yours and you're only 22.

Well I suppose it is open season for dating then! I've wanted to ask out a few women but I've been hesitant because I've been waiting to get served. After speaking to W, it may not happen for a while. It does sound like your W is beyond hope. Mine appears that way too. She wants me to move out and pay all her expenses. I don't know what she is thinking. However I do feel better than I have in months and I'm ready to meet some nice women to validate my ego. Best of luck to you and DD.

Andyv, just highjacking since you're asleep anyway. Amen brother let jounior have a dse of the reality of living with kids when he is one himself. Oh baby let get a picture of this! I have a D7 w/ special needs and it is so tough. Not for the meek of heart. I think some of these women have an Ashton Krutcher Demi Moore fantasy in their silly putty little heads.

WAW,

I have heard the same from friends who have been in a similar position. Their W's have come back after they see that you have moved on somewhat, and the fear of possibly losing you becomes real.

Also, the PMA and building of confidence with GALing and possibly dating, makes you more of an attractive option. A similar option when they fell in love with you all those years ago, whilst you were still confident and single.

As long as you are certain with where your priorities are in regards to saving your M, salvaging a R or calling it a day.

Andy V

Hey dude, still raining there? It just hit 100 here. Hottest day so far. Things are going ok. I'm going to sit down and write ya an e-mail. I have seen changes. I started sliding on the detaching but Theo knocked me up along side the head and I am back on track. Going tomorrow to check out tattoos. Talk about 180 galling. Allot has happened in the last couple days.Husband

Hey Tommy,

You have hit the nail on the head.

I have the same feeling about my W's OM. She is so blind to see that he has not committed to any relationships he has had with women closer to his own age.

I don't know why she thinks he may commit with her, and DD, and having me in his life (as DD's parent), her extended family (that values M, and still love me) etc etc.

Also the fact that she may not be able to have any more children due to a medical condition she has had for several years, I wonder how honest she has been with him in regards to this fact.

She is off to Canberra for a week's holiday. I am looking forward to being alone with DD and having the house to ourselves. The funny thing is, there is "normality" when she is not around in regards to DD and myself.

You mentioned Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore fantasy. How right you are. Only thing is that at least Ashton Kutcher can support Demi's lifestyle. I don't think my W's OM will be able to, poor bastard

Hey Husband,

It stopped raining yesterday, and we are having a sunny day today.

Don't worry about backsliding, it will happen alot.

Hope things are going better for you in regards to your detaching, giving your W space and not instigating anything in regards to your R with her. I think you just need to back off completely and let her sort herself out.

Had a pretty good several weeks, however sort of did a backslide yesterday.

W has gone interstate with OM (told everyone including me it was with her GF). She is gone for a week, and I am looking after DD.

I was in a hurry yesterday, and couldn't find an item of DD's that W had put away. I rang W and asked her, then I started the dreaded OM talks again. I sort of asked her to admit to me that the R has gone sexual etc etc etc, and if she told me that she would rid me once and for all, and that I would find "complete" closure and walk away.

Well rather than have the courage to tell me, she told me it was none of my business (which it probably isn't), the whole time she was denying everything about OM it sounded like she was "enjoying" the confrontation and I sensed by her voice that she was really happy.

She also brought up "You have ignored me for two weeks and now you want to discuss it?".

I don't really know what that meant.

I told her that I though that was what she wanted, her space. And she got a little confused and said "yes". She is the worst communicator on earth, hence my sitch and not knowing what she want's as she always holds it in and never reveals anything.

I have detached completely (other than the backslide) and have not brought up anything in several weeks.

I don't know why I did it. I think that maybe I am looking for a reason to walk away as well. I am very confused at this time with some anger mixed in.

andyv

I don't think she is convinced about leaving. If she was why would she just not tell ya "yea I am what's it to you". It almost sounded like she is trying to make you jeluse.IO don't know Just a thought. I am going to buy my W a watch for our annv. I am not expection anything so I will not be disapointed.

talk to ya soon

Husband

Husband,

Thats exactly what I am thinking. If she only told me, she would know that I would be helping her fast track the divorce etc. She knows my values and that would pretty much set her free, so why not just admit it to me.

Everything she has told me and has been honest about (OM etc) I have taken well, and have let her be. She knows that if she admits to the PA, I would not bring it up again.

andyv

Maybe your GAL has her thinking. She may have that 'i don't want you butI don't want anybody else to have you" thinking. Or maybe she see's other shelia's eye balling you and is finaly realizing what she had. AND maybe this "week" is her own test to see if this is what she wants. Have I confused you yet? I e-mailed THEO an letter If I can find it I'll send a a copy. It is kind of a recap of my sitch
I have seen changes but I am getting tired also. I may change some tactics after next weekend. I am going to see how that goes.

Husband