As for those people in your town--well, I think it would be fun to PROVE to them that you are, in fact, completely mad. Nutty as a fruit bat.
I probably wouldn't dare to do it myself, but, by golly, I'll be behind you 100 per cent whenever you decide to run mad, screaming through the streets. Wouldn't it be better to be an adorable village idiot than have to go to those stupid parties where everybody looks at your clothes and gets decorously drunk? Horses are better, anytime. Wild Idaho paints, that'll pitch you off the side of a mountain.
Oh, and Husband, when you went to the bathroom, did you take a bath? I'm still a little concerned about the off-roading. That is so DIRTY.
Saffie, I'm a little offended that you don't want to go to Lake Texoma with me and my DELIGHTFUL children. You could visit in August. It hardly ever gets above 110 degrees, and the mud smells so delicious in the heat. But, oh well.....
Get the tattoo done husband. I went and had my belly button pierced a couple of years ago just for me. My youngest daughter thinks it is just soooo cool and it forces me to try and keep in shape!!
Delia, don't rule me out coming to see you to. I would love to come and spend some time with you in Lake Texoma.
you have no idea how you all keep me going. I have had a really rough day. Its a bit of a long story but here goes... and I hope it makes sense.....
Christmas 2006 We went and stayed at my H's sisters house for a couple of days. My H's mother had just been widowed the month before when my H's step father had died and so things weren't too merry.
Anyway, while we were there my H's sisters H tried hitting on me a few times. I told my H but as he was already involved in his A, (which I didn't know about at the time), he didn't pay much attention. My SIL lives in an old house with lots of nooks and crannies and little passages and in the end I had to tell my two eldest daughters what was going on in order to get them to stay with me so that nothing further could happen, as the guy kept waiting to get me in different places around the house.
After surviving Christmas, this guy then kept phoning me up and asking if he could come and see me. He is someone who is very proud and macho and would not take a nock back very easily. He obviously didn't take a hint very easily either, and so instead of being in his face and telling him to just F@$K OFF I just tried to ignore his overtures or laugh then off. When he asked if he could come and see me I would just reply that it would be nice to see ALL of his family. (His wife is beautiful and he has two small sons via IVF. I had been very supportive to his wife when she was going through IVF as I used to be an antenatal teacher).
Anyway, when all the stuff came out about my H's A this guy kept phoning me up and asking to come and see me. He was like a vulture circling. I didn't have the energy to deal with him anymore and so my H and I just avoided going anywhere near his sister or her H. WE didn't want to go public about what my H's sisters H was upto as we thought it would just end up hurting my SIL.
One day my MIL phoned up and had a real go at me because I wouldn't go to family does where my SIL and her husband were going to be and so in the end my H told his mother why but swore her to secrecy. Then six weeks ago we found out that my SIL's husband told my MIL that I had been trying it on with him!!!!! How she could possibly think that was true after seeing how devastated I was after finding out about my H's A I just don't know. All my energies over the last year have gone into trying to mend my marriage. The number of times it would have been nice to throw the fact that I was upto something else with another man in my husbands face just to see how much it hurt him would have been great - but unfortunately I have never looked at anyone else. So to be accused of this hurt doubly.
Anyway, my MIL decided to bring everything out into the open because she "wanted to find out the truth". Well as my H and I told her, the other guy wasn't going to hold up his hands and say he lied was he? Once a scum bag always a scum bag it seems. Sure enough he stuck to his lies and now my H will not talk to his sister and I will no longer have anything to do with his family. As if life isn't enough of a mess as it is!!!
I really want to phone up my MIL and say 'I told you so' but I guess that wouldn't achieve anything in the long run. Any ideas anyone?
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I'd probably try to stay out of the whole thing, and avoid these people and all the gossip. When asked about the situation I'd just say (as many times as necessary) the whole thing is a lie and you have absolutely no interest in the BIL. It's just not true... and that's it.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
It's ripping my H apart though, and he has been crying as he thinks he is never going to be able to see his mother and sister again. It just seems so unfair coming ontop of everything else, and when we did NOTHING to create this sitch.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
You did nothing wrong, but if I were you, I'd try to patch together some kind of reconciliation or truce between your H and his family. As I think you said in a post to someone else: "blood is thicker than water"--which is pretty unfortunate, but there it is. It's a miserable situation, but you don't want your H estranged from his sister. Could you talk to your husband about how he feels about it? It seems that he's caught in the middle right now, but maybe he has some ideas. I guess that your H's sister is sticking up for her husband? If I were in your place, my first thought would be that my H ought to stand up for ME against his family--and especially if he'd just betrayed me with an affair.
But, on second thought, I think you ought to let it go, a little bit. Just let it slide over your back. BIL hit on you. It happens. Give your husband the space he needs to mend fences. Leave him free to do it. You don't need this kind of conflict. Your husband needs his mother and sister. You want YOUR truth to be known--but I think you should distance yourself from the bad sitch and let H deal with it as he chooses. These family things are just flashes in the pan--tons of drama and then gone in a year.
Wish I was GAL Delia. Things have really ground to a halt with all this BIL stuff. AM feeling really blue and just getting out of bed is a real problem
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
