Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Tiny Ray of Light version V

LOL...I should give the money to the kids. They'd spend it more reponsibly then she will

Now aintcha glad you didn't "pay good money" for THAT crap, NM?

You can do better. You're holding back on me. I'm talking about the chain of events from yesterday and my depression today.

Hi KS, Amy, and NM - I really enjoy reading your discussions you all have great insight.

About my sitch, I'm hoping you can help. I still don't know what I should be doing. My wife and I have been seperated for 4 months. She gave me the love u but not in love w u speel. She moved out for a few weeks but came back home because of our 1 1/2 daughter. We are in the process of selling our home so she can get her own place. She just started a new insurance businesss 4 months ago and is constantly stressed out about it. When I asked about that stress effecting our marriage she said it just put a magnifying glass on it. So right now we are in limbo until we sell the house. It really hurts me when she acts all happy about the thought of moving on. I have been her caretaker for the last 11yrs. I pay all the bills make all appointments. I'm wondering if she will really miss me when we are on our own. She is still spending money like its no big deal even though her business is slowly soaking us dry. My friends and family are telling me to file for sep. to get our finances sep. to protect myself and our daughter. I don't know how to handle living with this "alien". I feel she is being so selfish to the point that I don't know if I want to hold on to her anymore. How could she walk away from us. How can she put her stupid insurance business before her family. If it was me I would quit my buiz in a heartbeat to save my fam. But, its not up to me. I know this is hard but what would u guys do? I spoke with my DB coach and she told me how to be more upbeat, sympathetic and empowering around my wife which I have tried to be. But it really hurts to see her acting like she is happy about everything. Is she just not thinking about the big picture? How this is going to effect our daughter schedule in the future? Being shuffled between 2 households. Having 2 bdays, all the holidays. She is already not wanting to see my family because she is uncomfortable. Why is this all about her?
I dont know what to do anymore.

thanks for letting me vent.

God Bless, BM

BM - NM started you a thread -- I've posted on it for you. Don't know what kind of help I am though

Click ME!!!

Oh, that's easy.

You've just got to detach and get a freakin life and stop acting like the world revolves around her because it most certainly does NOT.

I don't know how long you've been putting up with her acting like she acted yesterday but I'd circle that date on the calendar if I were you and mark it LAST DAY I TOOK CRAP FROM W.

She has been acting as if a certain part of her anatomy is lined in gold - and you've mostly just been kissin her butt and that has gotten you exactly NOWHERE.

So grab your balls outta that jar on the mantle that she sealed 'em up in 2 years ago and get your butt to that horse riding practice thing or whatever it is because HELLO you're not going to see the wife.
You're going to see your Flicka (your beautiful young girl).

Go ahead now.

This is the part where you say you can't do that....

I won't be attending the lessons for now. I'm not going to allow the drama to spoil my daughters time. And even though I can be civil I do know that wife will cause a scene.

To be honest Amy i'm not sure i have any nads. I have no self-esteem, why should I have nads?

I didn't have any either when H left. You need to build this up. Go out and have a good time. You will be able to get the self esteem back.

Goes deeper. I didn't have any when she found me in the first place. I never have had any in my life...ever. Goes back to childhood issues.