Hi. I just completed a somewhat liberating albeit disgusting task. I just went through the fridge and got rid of all of "her" food. Now bear in mind she has been gone for about 2 1/2 months now. I am talking about stuff like yogurt drinks and stuff like that. When I poured them out they were pretty chunky.
But it does bring a interesting question to my mind. How long do I wait until I start changing things around. Meaning perhaps re arranging furniture. Maybe taking down some of the artwork she put up and putting some of my own touches up?
Perhaps doing something like that might jar her when she comes around to get our child. But would it jar her in a good way or a bad way???? hmmmmmmmmm just thinking outloud here. Any suggestions or ideas ???
Listen, I think if YOU want to move stuff around, then you should go ahead and due it. Don't do it for a reaction. Funny...wasn't until after the bomb that I realized that W had removed and put away all pictures of us. She re-painted our bedroom and we had two engagement photos and this thing my sister made for our wedding haning on the wall...and for some reason they never found their way back up onto the wall. Sad.
Maybe those were the "cries" I was supposed to have noticed....dunno.
I agree that if you want to change things around for you, then do it. She hasn't lived there in a while, and doesn't even seem to be helping you pay the mortgage anymore, so doesn't get a say right now in what you do to the house.
I have been very slow to change anything. It probably was just me having a hard time letting go. But I am ready to make some changes, declutter, etc, and make this place MINE, because that is what it is right now. I made my first step yesterday by cleaning out the bedroom that H stayed in before he left. I just had the door closed to that room for so long because it was a painful reminder for me, but yesterday I went in, washed all the bedding, picked up all his trash and other cr@p he left in there. Now it is back to my nice, tidy guest room, ready for whoever might come stay with me next. It felt really good to take that room back. Now on to the rest of the house for me!
Sometimes music can really knock me down and sometimes it can give me a real boost.......
The other night I was driving in my car, listening to an oldies station and this song came on I cranked it up and for some reason it for a bit took me out of all my crap.......
Loneiy feeling, deep inside Find a corner where I can hide Silent footsteps crowding me Sudden darkness, But I can see
No sugar tonight in my coffee No sugar tonight in my tea No sugar to stand beside me No sugar to run with me
In the silence of her mind Quiet movements where I can find Grabbing for me with her eyes Now I'm falling from her skies
No sugar tonight in my coffee No sugar tonight in my tea No sugar to stand beside me No sugar to run with me
Choco says yes, and I believe him When we talk about the things I say She hasnt got the faith or the guts to leave him When they are standing in each others way
Your trippen back now to places you been to You wonder what your gonna find You know you've been wrong but it wont be long Before you leave em all far behind
Cuz its the new mother nature taking over Its the new splendid lady come to call Its the new mother nature taking over Shes getting us all Shes getting us all
Choco is saying No, when I came back last time Its looking like I lost a friend No use in calling because the sky is falling And I am getting pretty near the end
A smoke filled room in a corner basement The situation must be right A bag of goodies and a bottle of wine We're gonna get it on right tonight
Cuz its the new mother nature taking over Its the new splendid lady come to call Its the new mother nature taking over Shes getting us all Shes getting us all
Lonely feeling Jock says yes and I believe him Deep inside When we talk about the things I say Find a corner She hasn't got the faith or the guts to leave him Where I can hide When they're standing in each other's way
Silent footsteps You're driven back now to places you've been to Crowding me You wonder what you're gonna find Sudden darkness You know you've been wrong and it won't be long But I can see Before you leave 'em all far behind
Cuz its the new mother nature taking over Its the new splendid lady come to call Its the new mother nature taking over Shes getting us all Shes getting us all
20 bonus points for the person naming the band 100 bonus points for the year this hits the charts 1000 bonus points for how high on the chart it went 1000 more bonus points if you can name the song that was on the flip side of this single......(ha ha some of you wont even have a clue what a single is)
No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature The Guess Who Released in 1970 and therefore I will say guess that it hit the charts in the same year Hit #1 American Woman
Well thats 2120 bonus points for the swashinator. Remind me to never play any music triva games with you. You the bomb!!
You just getting into stuff like this kinda takes me out of all my situation for awhile and that is a good thing. Its not a giant GAL thing, but it is one of the little time fillers that can help put the mind at ease. I dont if that made any sense to any of you, but it sure does to me. (Right now I am listening to a song called Dear Mr Fantasy.)
Also along this line of thinking.....me and my WAW never agreed as to what to watch on TV. 95% of the time instead of fighting about it, I would just give in and let her watch what she wanted to. Well I didnt like General Hospital (taped) every (damn) night so I would just withdraw, go do something on this machine. There is a root there as to why we are here........anyways I am sliding off what I was gonna say. I always wanted to get into the series "24" I have never seen an episode of it. I rented from the beggining season 1, episodes 1 - 4 last night. I watched 1 and 2. I am hooked....also plan to do this with the "Sopranos".
Where I am going with all this is. Getting A Life is yeah making some big moves. But it also can be doing little things for yourself too.........Anyone follow me on this????
All and all a pretty decent day with my girl. I even accomplished cleaning my carpets this morning. For some reason I always feel better at the end of the day if I have managed to accomplish a "project".
Took daughter to swim lessons, after that me and her went and swam for a bit in the lake. Came home showered and went out to dinner at a buffet place. During dinner daughter gets all serious. And sez to me, "I miss the old days", I ask like what do you mean. She sez, "like when we are out eating like this, and you and me and mom are here" Geez did this one make me feel sad, I can tell the child is hurting because of this. I told her that I will always love her, and that mommy loves her too. Me and mommy are just going through this thing right now.
Now maybe this was a backslide, but I did say to her, "have you ever said anything like that to mom?" she sez no. I told her to feel free to say that to mom, I think she may need you to hear you say that too......... Probably pushed that one to far, dunno.....and actually dont care. I think she does need to understand how this is affecting our daughter.......
Now on to the rest of the house for me!