Amy, I think that was wonderful -- he opened up to be vulnerable and it became an intimate moment between you.
I'm sure he was talking part about the BIL, partly about himself; it's probably a little confusing to him, too. Don't drive yourself crazy over-thinking it
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I have had to be prodded, poked and practically thrown over His shoulder to get as far as I have gotten and it ain't over yet.
It is in my nature to flip out and go off the deep end occasionally and the timing now is right.
As a matter of fact, H pissed me off just yesterday.
The only difference between now and a year ago is I know I'm not going to give up, so I don't even come here to waste my time typing about it. It's just flesh.
I have had to be prodded, poked and practically thrown over His shoulder to get as far as I have gotten and it ain't over yet.
It is in my nature to flip out and go off the deep end occasionally and the timing now is right.
As a matter of fact, H pissed me off just yesterday.
The only difference between now and a year ago is I know I'm not going to give up, so I don't even come here to waste my time typing about it. It's just flesh.
So tempting
But we're quite alike so....
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
Hey, I'm back, your Mufasa with a salami sandwhich.
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I'm so confused.
Not confused AmyC, you are just experiencing feelings that you are not used to. You are being supportive, friendly, and loving unconditionally. You are allowing your H to share his feelings openly without judging him, or trying to control him. You are letting go, accepting life as it is and finding joy in the moments. It's not comfortable at first, but it will become you.
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What I am confused about is as H was talking to me about BIL and my sister, the lines started to blur
What I am most impressed about is that you accept the fact that you don't quite understand, yet you allow him to continue. He was'nt talking to you, and you allow him to have his convo with BIL. You were blessed to listen, and you blessed him to speak. Sometimes the words don't exactly make sense, but the feelings are very clear.
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At one point though, I was just overwhelmed and I felt the tears in my eyes and I put my head in his lap and said "the road back is just so long..."
Wow, I wish I could have been there to see that. It's baby steps AmyC, baby steps. You are on your way, on the right track. You are going to make it.
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Do you know why I didn't sell this house?" I said "because it was all you thought you had left?" and he said "No" and then I said "Because of the kids?" and he said "No. I didn't sell it because you asked me not to and the day you asked me not to was the day I knew you had gotten to that place within yourself where you could feel (hesitating)...and you knew.........(hesitating again)" and he stopped there and I said "I knew this was home".
My eyes are leaking right now. The electrical connections are igniting. It IS a long road, but it's not going back, it's going forward.
Congrats AmyC, I'm proud of you. You may not realize or want to accept it but you are a hero. It does'nt take much courage to build a corporation, or obtain a professional designation, but to look at yourself, change for the better, to be vulnerable, humble, and broke, give all for the sake of your family, now that's what true hero's are made of in the eye's of God.
Keep up the good work!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
