Well hubby just called a bit ago and seems he is a demit about getting out of OHIO and wants me to really get the number of an old friend ( he used to work for and is opening a CO. here in WI again*) he said I want it today! Shheeeeeeeeeesh! I had called for him over the weekend... and left a message.
anyway he said call his DAD if you have to. HMMMMMMMMMMM? I mentioned this over the weekend and he said not to. NOW he wants me to? ay, ay ay.... Simmer down there MR. He didnt say it mad more like desperation.
Yeah I am not trying to figure him out onward and upward.
I was looking in my work notebook that i carry around and I had written two pages on this same subject of standing up for myself and setting boundaries,,,, geez.. Old habits surely do die hard. But even though it will be a challenge to FINALLY stand up for me...
I AM GOING TO DO IT... IT TAKES 3 WEEKS TO BREAK A HABIT SO i NEED TO KEEP AT IT and then if it takes longer then maybe I wont slip back into old patterns so much. Dbing has brought me this far and I need to keep going, this wont get better on it own. Amazing how many times I have to fall down and start over this time I am going to take is slow day by day and stand up for myself and my boundaries in a kind loving strong way that I know I can. I just need to remember it is ok and actually it is REQUIRED for me to feel Happy and Secure in my M.
I have pussyfooted around this issue like a little kitten since last fall and actually most of my M to this Man and as hard as it will seem to be for me to change my pattern with him once again I must do this and slowly but surely I shall succeed. And like OT reminded me ... WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE IS THIS SENDING MY KIDS? I honestly never thought I was setting a bad example like that so ..... I can do this and I MUST! Everyday I wake up knowing I need to do this and I need to keep it in my mind at the forefront.... no wishy washy well maybe tomorrow... LIKE in the past.
These are the ugly things I have been thru.. 1. 5 years ago a DNA test to prove hubby wasnt the father of some *W*'s kid... ( that one practiaclly did me in) he wasnt...
2. A year before that he told me it was over ... I went completely dark ( never knew about DBing) and he called 3 weeks later after calling every one we knew to get a hold of me. I filed for D the day before he called me, had a job and 2000.$ saved for a new start with me and my 5 kids!
3. Then , an EA last year in the spring.... he admitted to it saying .. we would only talk about you.
4. The bomb... May 1st 2006
5. Ow discovery when I see his lovely Tattoo on Fathers day Last year. yuck....
If I can get over and thru these things I dare say I can do ANYTHING. Thanks guys for all your support and all your kind words and 2x4S Love you all .... God bless.....
Well we will see what happens tommorrow,,, I just received a call from that girl... First she called my cell direct and her # showed up and then she called my home phone private... and asked if I had called her number? I was half asleep and said no I dunno you mean someone called from your number to mine she said no you called me ... do you know a Tracy??? and I said No sorry I dont... my heart was @ to jump out me chest but I stayed calm.... I am so upset and I cannot sleep. I dunno if I can do this anymore guys..... somebody please help me.... I am getting fed up. Love , Ali
Well, I used to have a problem snooping and for some odd reason,, I broke my no snooping rule last Friday nite,, when I first posted here. He had a VM and the number that went with those three VMS was the same one that showed up on my cell phone yesterday...... HELP. ???????????
Well folks MY H basically told me earlier this evening that he is tired of me not taking care of myself ( IE my body ) that enough is enough... basically stating thru the lines that if I was a trophy wife I would not worry about what he was up to..( MY comments this am?) and he is sick of seeing me like this!
These are the following compliments I recieved... 1. IF you were in shape you would not worry about me its because you look the way you do that you get insecure. ? 2. You dont know how to pick out clothes I dunno how you think you can wear everything you see in the magazines. ? 3. I really especially hate the dress you wore when we went for Sushi. 4. you need to exercise 5. You always say hey I lost 5 pounds and then when I see you , you look exactly the same. ? 6. I do not work my ass off for you to be at home just eating all the time. ? 7. dont talk about it just do it all you do is talk talk talk and no action I am sick of it! ? 8. I have been waiting for years for you to do this. ? 9. There are women who are older than you and have had kids and they look great so the kisd arent an excuse. ? 10. I dunno why you cant go work out for 2 hours you always make up excuses. ? 11. I will buy you all new clothes just dont pick out all the [censored] you always do. ? 12. Go do it it is nice out dont go to the Y you need to run and sweat. ? 13. I am serious, do you hear me? I am very serious so you BETTER think about is and take me serious I am so tired of this.
Maybe more but I think you get the jist.... Nice.. GOD bless..
PS I thought I posted here too but did not,, my h said these nice things to me on the phone yesterday early evening... It all started when he asked me what I was wearing?
and when he said all those mean things to me I just stayed calm ... THEN, LATER.... I went Roller blading for an hour and he called and asked what I was up to and as he called someone driving honked , he had the nerve to call me back and ask who was honking? and actualy sound upset/offended..... ARE YOU F'ing serious .. He needs help. Serious help,, and now that I think of it maybe I do ,, why do I stay anymore????
I am sure he will try to explain his way out of this one,,,, scary is that what he is doing is upsetting but I am getting so numb at the same time and maybe it wouldnt be so fun for him to be a PIG if I werent in the picture... I feel sick.. I am afraid that I cant get over this, really afraid for my kids. I told him if he ever cheated again and I found it it would pretty much be over . He is sick and needs help and I cannot give it to him... God please help me find strength... Once again sure maybe I am assuming but why is she calling me? How did she get my munbers?????? http://www.xanga.com/alimari OK you all I posted this pic in November to someone close to me to make them laugh.... and I am so upset with this that my H has most likely done and said to me last nite cause he is so sick of looking at me like this... Dunno but when I see the pic of me ( and my girls) I do not see what he sees,,, SLOTH H*LL NO!!! Sweet and loving and caring and so on and so forth and I have a great personality too. And my body brought five kids into the world and now I am supposed to look like NICOLE RITCHIE? are you serious....? Ok yeah now I have gone of the deep end...... Sorry guys I will try to breathe and calm down... HELP!!!!
You have got to be kidding. What's with this guy? If you hear this Cr@p all the time no wonders you may be Insecure. ya see he making you feel insecure insures his security that you will not leave him. He seems to be trying to make you think if you don't have him you don't have anything. I could not tell you how much money my W has spent trying to lose weight. She too tells me she lost 5-6 pounds. I tell her she looks great (I never noticed any weight loss but if she says so).I know her weight is an issue with her and I always say things like "boy you have lost some weight or those jeans look good on you have lost weight" I really don't notice any weight loss but it makes her feel good. What has bothered me lately is the fact that she is again on this weight loss kick. I am starting to feel this insecurity about her losing weight and leaving me. Maybe that is what your husband needs to feel. The New you that has a life. That can and will survive without him. Do you feel you need to lose a little weight?
This could be your 180
Husband (Personaly I like a woman with a little meat on her bones)
Last edited by husband; 06/22/0711:48 AM.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I am blowing up my own thread... SHEESH! Well I will most likely sound like a crazed lunatic today... I finally was able to nod off at @ 4:01 am and woke up at 6 am wooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo 2 whole hours. Oh and BTW he did say he was sorry he wasnt trying to be rude last nite its just that he has had enough of me not looking good for him.... HOW SWEET HUH? I am 5'5", and I go between a size 8 and 12 being my highest and I wear a D cup , so sure extra curvy but he is acting like I look like the blob from those old 50's movies,, HMMMMMMMMMMM yeah it does kind resemble me now that I think about it ! Sure is hard to dress myself... maybe he could pick out my clothes seeing as he is perfect... and so he shouldnt worry about who is honking at me,, they probably recognize me from that movie THE BLOB.... LMAO!!!!!! especially cause he doesnt have my horrific weight problem ,, LMAO and so why does he get Jealous? yeah I feel bonkers you all.. for sure,, I could be a LOONEY TOON right now...... Yikes~ Gimme a break!see there I go going crazy again...... Yikes... time to stop.. go back to bed... wish I could.. time to start my day. UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH Love, Ali
hey Ali Looking at your pic and reading your sitch it seems like 2 different people. It’s hard to put your ugly words from him to that beautiful face of yours.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
(Personaly I like a woman with a little meat on her bones)
Well then youd love me cause sure I have weight to lose and I eat pretty darn healthy and yes I have been trying but my aim is not to look like Nicole Ritchie just me only better..... I am a little on the extra voluptuos side,, see post above.... but not to the extreme he is taking this. I could lose 20 lbs and then Id be exactly the same as when he met me.... only back then I was stronger emotionally by a mile..... Love, Ali
