Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Help! How should I handle this?

I think you and Jazz have much to talk about then.

NMHurting,

I appreciate your words. The tough part to come to grips with is this takes time either way. If she does come back, we would need to still live separately and go to counseling for six to twelve months. If she does not, it takes time to get over this. There is no magic way to expedite things. I know our WASs think they can sweep it under the rug or "deal with it" as my exW said. It is just not true.

RMG

No it's not true. 789 said it best I think. Divorces have be come virtually drive thru easy. Those that don't want the divorce hit the wall sooner then the ones that end up regretting things down the road.

My lawyer told me something very interesting. He says he has a higher % of people getting divorced and re-married than people that legally separate and come back together.

That says something in itself.

NMHurting,

I totally agree. In a way, I feel like some people need to be divorced. They need to turn the page and start over again.

In my case, my exW did not see how much I was changing. She thought I was changing or wanting to become something I am not. She thought the "changes" would not stick. The sad thing is she failed to realize how much of a rut I was in for 12 years; I had become someone else. NOT ME! My "changes" were just me getting back to being me! If she had actually looked at me with open eyes and an open heart, she would have seen I am the man she wants to be with.

RMG

RMG,

Well said sweetie,,and in time she will live to regret it,,thats' my opinion!

How did your S's bx results come out today??? I'm very worried about you! I'm still praying for him! Is he out of the hospital?
Call me if you need to talk,,ya know the #!

Yes she is avoiding you,,for what reason, I don't know,,but for her to ignore your son when he needs all the prays & help he can get,,she is just heartless and cruel,,don't get me started!

BTW,,had meeting w/DB queen today(H decided not to come b/c of my outburst on phone,,oh well)she said, "I'm sorry I think its' over for you two, you were S'd for too long!!
H told me same thing today,,actually uttered those words today, after H put down our cat of 17+yrs!!

OK,,think i'm gonna take a xanax now!
Luv Ya RMG,
Kim

Kim,

I do believe she will regret it. As our friend T has said a good man is hard to find.

Josh is improving. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.

I am sorry to hear of M and cat. That is tough.

I hope you have a great day!

RMG

Thanks RMG for being there for me!! I hope Josh is doing much, much better,,still praying!!

Took boys to movie today,,Surf's Up,,great movie but had a lot of common threads linking to H,,too many to mention! Hmmm,,I wonder if boys will tell their dad about the movie,,too weird!

Yes, T is very wise as she has already been where we are about to enter!!!

GOD help us all, the ones on the fast tract to 'D' or just 'D'd"!
Started rx today to help me thru this,,I hope it works,,i've just been so anxious and sad,,as you've heard!

I'm figuring out what step to take next!

You and DMR are my angels,,how can I ever repay ya guys??

Luv,
Kim

Kim,

It has been my pleasure to be there for you. You have also helped me in many ways.

I hope and pray you find peace in all of this.

I need to blaze off; I am meeting a gal friend of mine for an early lunch and a walk around Garden of the Gods. It should be a great day!

Take Care,

RMG

I am not sure if I am an expert on this, but I will try to see it from her P.O.V. even though I do not really know your situation. First of all, I am not sure if posting on a jont prayer circle online is the best way to communicate. It may appear like a device to get her attention. I am sorry your son is sick. The same thibng happened to me this week and I could not reach my H, so I paniced. From now on, I think I will have to deal with those issues on my own if he wants to be out of reach or else he may think I am using their illness as a chance to be dependent and close.

Second, I do not think the money thing needs to be a factor for attracting certain women. It is great that you will be a better provider and that you are commited to your work. Sometimes attaction is about more simple things like attention , companionship, sympathy, admiraton, availability, etc. Women who are attracted to a guys wallet may be kind of shallow, but that is just my opinion because I do not make a lot of money , but my relatives do.

There may be lots of reasons why we avoid each other so do not fret over that. For me, I avoid seeing my husband out of pride, anger, and sadness. It may be time for you to go dark. I hope your son feels better. Some bug is going around in our parts. A lot of puking! Yuck.

mkultra,

I appreciate you taking time to post. I agree with you; posting on the prayer circle may seem like a device to get her attention. However, I felt I had to do so because I had no idea how sick my son was. I was also testing her. Heck, if he had really gone downhill (God forbid), I wonder what she would have done. She still holds a grudge there because I dated her, broke up with her and had Josh with AS. This is crazy after 15 years...

I am really looking for a woman who love me for me. I know there will be women who want that "big thing" in my pants as a female friend said. Of course, it is my wallet!

I really think Kim is avoiding me because seeing me may bring her feelings to the surface. As I have written before, if she was "over it," seeing me is no big deal.

I am going totally dark on her now.........

Thanks again for your thoughts.

RMG