Ooh you draw such pictures in my head Ooh with so few words I know what you said
Until the time comes To carry the one Make that dream real And be sure it stays done So let that thought Bloom in your mind A vision that's caught Never left behind
You should just give me a call You should just give me a call
I think about you much more than I should Now there's a structure nothing had once stood No more bluffing it's cards on the table time What it must be we will take it as a sign
So just give me a call So just give me a call
Sunset and my love left me winter and I'm so far In darkness will it lead me where the meanings are
I miss and think of you often no flowers I forgot them the weather's the same nothing happens no love's a hard lesson
patience and years will refashion what hours will undo and circles not yet quite circles somehow close true I keep on hearing the things that you said I keep on feeling you go straight to my head No more bluffing it's cards on the table time What it must be we will take it as a sign
So just give me a call So just give me a call
I call you up but you won't talk to me No space for words there's just no room I drift away but you pull me in I'm the ocean youre the moon
Ooh how do I know if it's just me Sometimes I think that it must be You gotta know you can trust me
I think about you much more than I should Now there's a structure nothing had once stood No more bluffing it's cards on the table time What it must be we will take it as a sign
So just give me a call So just give me a call So just give me a call So just give me a call
Pretty good for a rock band eh? That song is the callback tone on my phone btw.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
Why can't these same spouse's be strong enough to stay?
No kidding, or TALK about how they're feeling. Why is our society so geared to bailing out now? It's a real shame.
There could be many reasons for your two wives not being strong enough to stay and not to hurt either of your feelings but you know I will tell you like it is, so buckle up.
789 ~ To stay with what? A drunk? Be careful of self-righteousness. Her leaving is what finally sobered you up. How many years did she spend just wishing you'd quit drinking? You think she left because SHE was weak?
JR ~ What about all the times your wife DID talk? And you never changed for long. What could she have said this time? What was there in your history that would have made her believe ANYTHING she said would have made any REAL difference?
Neither of your wives are weak. Quite the contrary, in fact. While ya'll were off doing your own things, your wives were getting STRONG. Strong enough to leave.
And that's what changed both of you so don't either of you forget it.
I saw this in jazz's thread and loved it. Amy, your vision is amazing. I am VERY grateful for this time apart, I thank God for my W's courage to do this every day.
But, let's be clear - WE (and I stress WE, because I was just as much to blame for our communications break-down, if not more-so) didn't communicate. WHEN my W told me she was unhappy, it was in the form of vague questions, or hints, or statements that only seemed to pertain to her pain and difficulties to her. I didn't see that because MEN don't communicate that way. I would have expected to hear, "You're very angry, please go get enrolled in anger management for the sake of our family's happiness." (That might be too much, but something that direct would work.) Instead, I got, "When Gary talked about Anger Management two weeks ago, you laughed at it." This statement was not directed at me needing Anger management (and neither was "Gary's"), but that is WHAT SHE'S SAYING! "I want you to get Anger Management!" I didn't hear that. Men who are not aware of the communication differences would not get that. Yes, I was especially dumb with my selfish blindfolds on, but I didn't hear it regardless of the excuses.
So, when I wish she could have just told me, I know that she did in her mind, I didn't know. May sound like a cop-out, but I really DID NOT KNOW. Now I do, and it is because of her. THAT'S why I'm thankful. As you said Amy, if she hadn't done this, we'd still be in the same pitiful position we were the last 3 years. At least now we have a slim chance of having the marriage we always wanted...
Now, I'm getting ready to be there for her so she doesn't have to feel that pain - IF SHE COMES BACK. If she doesn't, well there are a lot of mistakes I've made that I will not make again with women, and people in general. I'm better because of this experience. Now, it's not over by a long shot, so I expect I'll be that much better when it is. I think she will be too. And we'll be able to communicate, which will be HUGE.
Bottom line for us, is we'd be even better, spectacular, I believe I told her together - synergistic even - where the sum of the parts is greater than the parts themselves. THAT'S A MARRIAGE! And I pray we get a chance to create that synergy.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
I like singing this one at karaoke (see Amy, we have a lot in common )
Incubus Wish you were here
I dig my toes into the sand The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds Strewn across a blue blanket I lean against the wind Pretend that I am weightless And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here I wish you were here I wish you were here I wish you were here
I lay my head onto the sand The sky resembles a backlit canopy With holes punched in it I'm counting UFOs I signal them with my lantern And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here I wish you were here I wish you were here Wish you were here
The world's a roller coaster And I am not strapped in Maybe I should hold with care But my hands are busy in the air saying:
I wish you were here I wish you were I wish you were here I wish you were here I wish you were here Wish you were here
The imagery speaks to me and of course I wish my W were here.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
JR, that's a song I just love. I'll sit on the beach at night and listen to that and a few other Incubus songs on my iPod. A few weeks ago it really was a pick me up, right now, not so much. It brings out a lot of loneliness for me. But it's still a great song. If you get the chance sit on a beach at night with a full moon. That seems to make the words really come to life.
I think I'll do that tonight!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
I went and saw Incubus in concert a few years ago at Cricket Pavilion in PHX (Jazz knows the spot, I'm sure) and they were AWESOME! That guy didn't lose his voice the whole time and just ROCKED the place. One of the best performances I've ever seen. Actually, most of the really great performances I've seen were at Cricket in PHX:
Dashboard Confessional, Weezer, Pearl Jam (My favorite), Incubus, Tool, just to name my favorites.
Anyway, had a nice therapy session this morning. My counselor wants to invite my W in. I told him he can't due to the PO, so we're waiting on that. He has spoken to my Pastor, I don't know if anythng came of that yet. But overall, I think I'm getting the hang of this new me. It fits well, I like it, it works for me. And as I told UA earlier, I actually had a bit of a spring in my step today. Something I've been missing for a long time!
So, door's open chicky!!! Come on in, any time you like... (Oh, I have a million pet names for my W )
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
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