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yeah - obviously one of my LL's is WoA - I'd tell him he looked good on the off chance that he might tell me back

That's the trap right? We think if we apply our LL to our S they'll respond the same way we do. You'd tell him he looked good and probably didn't even hear you cuz that wasn't his LL.

The fact that he didn't bother to notice the things that made you feel loved, is just selfishness. That's how I messed up! I did all the stuff EXCEPT sitting and talking to my W and spending real quality time with her. THAT was the most uncomfortable thing for me to do, so I never did it. It might be really uncomfortable for your H to say those things. And if he'd pull his head out of his ass he'd give it a shot and realize that THAT action, especially as uncomfortable as it is for him, would make you feel really loved!

It took a kick to the gut to help me pull my head out of my ass, hopefully your H gets the kick one of these days. Selfishness, if unchecked will continue and he'll just keep doing the same thing over and over...

nah according to him, he can't fix what he did so he's done.....he can't take it back so it's just better to move on. That's love I tell ya

That's what he says, but that is just DUMB. We can all be forgiven. We're told to forgive 7X70 times and the Lord will forgive us as well. That includes forgiving ourselves.

Why don't you call him TELL him to pull his head out of his ass and see what that does. (I'm kidding )

Hi WII! My H and I also had to deal with immigration stuff, 10 years ago. What a nightmare, and I thought if we could get through that, then we'll survive anything. Well, we did ... to a point! I still don't trust him, but I am still here, so we'll see.

It sounds like your W was needy, and you were an enabler. She also sounds like she had hugely unrealistic expectations. She's in for a shock when she's in the real world and realises that no other man is going to take that. We often never realise what we had until it's gone! Cliche, but so true.

Life is about change, sometimes not so drastic as D, but sh!t happens, and we have to learn to not only survive, but thrive. Oh grief, I think I just wrote a poem. Hahaha!

Thinking of ya!

Being Me, W isn't interested in "any other man", she's into women now, one anyway! Oh, do what you will with that "into" remark, I'll just leave it hanging there for you
Isn't that Immigration business fun too, I especially like when they tell you things that just aren't true. It really perks up your day! I used to love calling them for info, pressing the endless number of necessary buttons (you know, "for X press 1"), and then hearing "Thank you for calling Canada Immigration, goodbye" CLICK(W told me NEVER press a button, wait for a live person). It's a real trip when you do call, maybe three times, and ask the same question (just to verify what the last idiot told you)and you get three different answers. What's not to love about it all. After we got married they told us my W couldn't work in Canada for at least two years! We frieked! I called our Immigration lawyer and he said "don't listen to anything they say, it's not true" and it wasn't. Fun, fun, fun.

We were fortunate in that we arrived in Canada as landed immigrants, so all that was sorted out prior to leaving. What was hard, for me, was the stress of getting used to a different culture. Even though they speak english here, it's still very different. We also had to rely on each other, not only as a couple, but as friends. We had to be all things to each other. That's a heavy load. Some things you can only share with your female friends.

Your W sounds jealous, not nuts, to me anyway. How did the 'date' go last night?

Take care there!

It wasn't a date! HONEST. We've been friends for years and now we get to compare divorces. Fun wow! Actually we had a really nice time, just went to dinner and talked till 10:00 pm. We did discuss what it feels like when you first recognize that you are single, not part of a couple anymore and how it feels like you're learning to swim all over again but can't remember really how to do it. She thinks that my "coffee buddy' would be good for me but I should enjoy that for now, if it happens, and not push for anymore right now (like I'd have the guts to anyway ). I'm lucky to have a number of really good friends. They are part of the many blessings I have in my life. Thanks for asking