Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE Naked in the Cabbage Patch

Mojo Well, if you become single someday, I think you should definitely look at some actuarial tables and weigh the likelihood of catching a deadly STD

I can imagine some "what if's" for myself, but part of why I posted some of my concerns, was about being slightly worried about what could possibly happen to you.

I see 3 Mojo's.
1. The hot young flirt from college, When the STD's, were readily curable.
2. The 20+ year married lady that worked diligently to keep her family together.
3. Now a single gal in a more medically risky world talking about what she used to do back when she was single.

I am just being an older/conservative brother type, who is a little concerned about what could happen to a good cyber friend.

I can even be concerned a little about your 2BX. Here is a web site just for him. Dating Millionaires. Maybe there is someone there for you?

If 2BX finds a $$ sponsor, maybe he would pay off his share of the debts. If you found a Hot Hank with $$, that might work too.

Of course, the members at the "Dating Millionaires" site could all or mostly be scammers.

Lou

a 30 something year old man who her BF thinks is a virgin and me

The 30 year old, is he this guy? Mad Scientist from your college days.

Lou

Well, that's sweet but you really don't have to worry about me. So far my sexual activity of any kind has been with- white males over 50 with post-graduate degrees in science for whom I am their first encounter since divorce after long marriage. A very low risk group for STDs IMO although high risk for something else I can't quite put my finger on but which caused me to ask my sister "Why me?" Her response was to say "I think it's because you have a lot of the sexual healer in your sexuality." Which, of course, caused me to think "AAARGH! It's that damn cow again. Why won't she die?"

I lust after more high risk partners like the tattooed Hispanic guys at the beach but my behavior remains low risk because I do my lusting from 5 picnic tables away hidden behind a tree.



I can't be mixing my need for $$ with my need for !! . It's bad enough that I sell books for a living. Though I may consider writing erotica someday. Maybe when I'm 80.

I think I've figured out what my problem is. Like most women in our stupid-*ss society I was taught that it was wrong for me to be sexual. Unlike most women, I for the most part refused to deny, repress, hide or give up ownership of my sexuality. However, what I did do was sort of make a deal with myself/society along the lines of "Okay, I can be a freely sexual being even though that isn't a very "nice" thing for a girl to be but I will compensate for it by being MORE "nice" in other ways than most girls or by only having sex for very "nice" reasons." I'm kind of like the kid who tells himself that it's okay if he smokes pot as long as he keeps getting A's in school and volunteers at the soup kitchen. Therefore, I have the tendency to be sexual with men for whom I feel sorry. It's like the monkey has to get a permission slip from the cow. So, instead of functioning like the stereotypical girl who tries to get some assurance that her bunny will be safe before she is sexual so that she can feel secure. I worry less about my security and more about achieving a sort of moral balance for myself by having the cow do good deeds in proportion to allowing the monkey hot action. Here are some examples:

1) Have sex with a man because it is his birthday and he seems sad and lonely.

2) Have sex with a man because he talks with a stammer.

3) Have sex with a man because he is so skinny he looks like he spent time in a concentration camp. (my 2bx)

4) Have sex with a man because he is a total premature ejaculator. (Okay, probably more accurate to say "because he gave off a vibe that someone with this issue might give off")

5) Have sex with a man because he is 5"2.

The interesting thing is that I only started this trend at late adolescence, around age 20. My first several sexual partners were not boys/men for whom anyone would ever naturally have the tendency to feel sorry. They were totally wild*ss or hard*ss or player. Perhaps my early adolescent rebellious streak prevented me from having any guilt about my sexuality so I was more free to pick partners just because I found them to be sexy.

I was thinking that they'll probably be able to clone humans pretty soon. Don't they just take the DNA from a non-egg cell and put it in an empty egg?
I think its a bit more complicated than that, but along that general idea. you need the "Frankenstein-esque" spark that starts the dividing process...not sure how that works.
It seems to me that if you could do that then you could mix up the DNA with some sperm DNA and then an older woman could have her own genetic child and just borrow an egg shell, not a whole egg.
That part of it IS in the works. Still...you need to get a donor egg, and those are in very short supply. There's also the issue that these older, bad eggs aren't just bad in terms of structure, but also, have bad dna. (hence, the high incidence of birth defects in women of "advanced maternal age"). You could pick through a bunch after an ivf cycle, (which involves producing as many eggs as possible through hormonal stimulation), and find a good strand, but older women with this "poor egg quality" diagnosis also typically don't produce many eggs, even on the highest allowable doses of drugs.
They do something similar to this now, that helps women who have had recurrant miscarriages, due to bad dna. their eggs are otherwise ok...they can "get" pg, but can't "stay" pg. Anyway, they do a regular IVF cycle, where multiple embryos are produced...then they examine the DNA of the embryos, and they can see which ones have bad dna. If they find a good one or two, they transfer those back to the uterus, and discard the others. This procedure is only done at a couple of clinics. they're not really "fixing" anything; just accelerating the process of finding a "good egg".

OTOH, maybe in 20 years there'll be a whole trend of women over 40 giving birth to their own clones. Pretty soon there will be no men left at all and BB's like this will be archaic relics of the past.
won't last for long, because nobody will be able to reach anything on the top shelf...and nothing will ever get fixed, and society will crumble and disintegrate as a result.

I just gotta ask: just exactly what kind of "vibe" might that be??

Good reply Mojo, I feel a little less concerned/worried about you.

"I think it's because you have a lot of the sexual healer in your sexuality."
LOL After your 2Bx left and you talked about not having the $$ to pay for some things, an old TV program I saw 10/15 years ago came to mind. This semi-armature therapist/hooker worked with guys like HW's H to get them over their sexual hang up, or so the story goes, according to the men.

I was thinking two problems solved (Low money and no sex) but then thought of the confident Hank you invented-some one that didn't drain your cow, and thought to myself, bad idea. Mojo needs to be getting sexual/emotional input, not be giving it.

I can't be mixing my need for $$ with my need for !! .
OK. Sounds cool.

It's bad enough that I sell books for a living.
???????? I don't understand what is "bad" about selling books?

If you feel bad about selling books, I guess I should feel bad about only being a self-taught auto mechanic who dropped out of school in the 10th grade, which I did for a long time.

It wasn't till I went to college around the age of 43 did I meet a hot looking, almost divorcer, 30 something female professor, who called everyone on their own putdowns.

Did her actions/advice cure every one of their thoughts "I just only or too bad I only” (FIB), No, but her advice and direction really improved attitudes.

If you think it is bad enough selling books, I guess it’s too bad I only fix printers.

Used books saved me big $$ when I was in college, as it does the same thing for lots of other students.

When I got the combination of same professor, same book with hi-lighting and notes, that equaled a leg-up in some classes I had.

Other than writing and book selling, what line of would you be doing now?

Lou

Sweet, shy in some ways but not others, kisses you for an hour at a time. I should note that when I say "total premature ejaculator" I mean that I'm not actually sure that we ever actually had sex although attempts were made.


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It's so clear to me now what went wrong with my marriage. I am attracted to men when I feel sorry for them because that feeling allows me to be freely sexual. My 2bx is someone who actually likes people to feel sorry for him. After my father died I felt vulnerable and wanted more security in my marital relationship so I challenged the previous status quo by seeking emotional support from my 2bx. He was unable to offer this support because he sees himself always as the one more needy. Therefore, the same quality in his personality that allowed me to pair-bond strongly with him early in our marriage eventually caused me to no longer desire to be pair-bonded with him. I changed and he didn't. However, I'm still in some sort of wobbly state of functioning and I know this is true because I really don't know what I want at this point sexually or from a relationship.

I do like being a bookdealer. I just meant that dealing in books kind of spoils my love of books because I have to value them differently. Mixing business with pleasure has its downside.


The reason I shouldn't be going around letting my cow mess with my sex life is that I end up doing things that are "nice" in the short-run but not "nice" in the long run. I am definitely not doing anyone any favors by behaving in that manner.

LOL. Besides I'm sure you guys will engineer up yourselves some artificial mechanical wombs and start a whole society of men who seem like humans except the belly button is in the wrong place and they walk just a little funny.