Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Let it Go.........

I am UA's Husband and I feel the need to clarify something. First of all, I don't have a problem with what most of you have said. In fact, it has helped me in some ways. I just feel that I was attacked and misrepresented. I don't feel that I was an [censored] or a jerk to UA before the A happened. I took my wife for granted, didn't pay attention to some of the signs that were there.

I don't believe that my W is to blame for all of this. I share a brunt of the load. I am just having trouble getting past the act and the betrayal that led to it. I had her on a pedestal and didn't believe she was capable of doing such things and I'm just hurt by her actions and what led to it because I feel if we had communicated and I had listened, this could have been avoided. And now I'm left with the aftermath of something that we both could have stopped.

Second of all, I don't mind UA venting, sharing, asking questions and seeking guidance on this board. I have done the same through other channels - friends, family, etc. I feel it's important that UA do the same if she's going to work through some of the raw emotions she's feeling.

I am not going to get involved in this website or her postings from now on. I stumbled upon this by accident and read some threads from early January. I just felt kind of hurt by what I read, I felt that some of the things were one sided from a particular person, and I expressed this to UA and maybe didn't explain well enough. I did not mean for her to stop posting here or to abandon any of her friends or contacts on this board.

I have tried not to be hateful about our S, I just needed some time away to reflect and work through some of the anger that I was feeling. I didn't think UA or my kids needed to have that as a constant in their daily life. I don't know what the future holds but we are taking it one day at a time.

I know that many of us get very protective of others on the BBs. I have also rushed to the defence of those I have felt were being treated unfairly, only to see later (in most cases), that the original poster was right.

Honestly, the most helpful posts I've had have been the ones that seemed at the time to be the harshest. I also thought that I needed to be heard and soothed, and I got that from a lot of people. But when I was spinning around in circles, it was not the ONLY thing I needed.

Maybe you will understand better when you've been here for two years. Well, hopefully you'll be reconciled by then.

KS is lucky to have a friend like you.

If you're going to stand for something BIG, be prepared to stand LONG.

Yes.