Of course you can express your feelings! The problem I see is that you are not just expressing them, you are reinforcing them with your negative focus. Instead of focusing on what you hate about this, focus on what you have to do. Fill your mind up with your To Do list so you don't have room for emotions.
Quote:
Or it could just simply be damn good advice.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
Just some quick advice - I am in a rush, so forgive me if I sound curt:
1 - You need a L to at least review the agreement. Find the money, even if it means putting it on your CC. You MUST protect yourself.
2 - "I hate this, blah blah blah" Yeah, we know. Get over it. It's happening, so you've got to take control of your side of it and do what you need to do for yourself and D.
I'm a little ahead of you, KS, in that we've almost finished negotiating. I actually felt better once I accepted that it was happening and took charge.
~Nicola
Thanks for the pep talk......and allowing me to express my feelings. Means a lot.
(((KS))) I do care about you, KS, but caring doesn't always mean giving you what you want - it's about giving you what you need. Nicola
And sometimes what a person really REALLY needs is simply to be heard and offered compassion. Barking at someone to "get over it" when feelings are new and raw is a sucky way to treat people, imho. I realize this stage is part of your past, but it's a new one to her.
I agree.
M: 29 H: 27 Married: 6/22/02 Bomb: 6/12/06 H moved out: 6/16/06 Signed D papers: 1/8/07 D final: 5/14/07
Just some quick advice - I am in a rush, so forgive me if I sound curt:
1 - You need a L to at least review the agreement. Find the money, even if it means putting it on your CC. You MUST protect yourself.
2 - "I hate this, blah blah blah" Yeah, we know. Get over it. It's happening, so you've got to take control of your side of it and do what you need to do for yourself and D.
I'm a little ahead of you, KS, in that we've almost finished negotiating. I actually felt better once I accepted that it was happening and took charge.
~Nicola
Thanks for the pep talk......and allowing me to express my feelings. Means a lot.
Yep. Amy doesn't let her do that.
and I thought my sarcasm was working...guess not
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
I DO HATE IT. IT DOES SUCK. That doesn't mean I'm not also preparing for this thing since it seems to be really happening.
It does suck KS. And i'm sorry you're going through it. I'd reach through the screen and give you a hug for support if I could.
On that same note. We're here for ya to deal with the pain. We just want you to protect yourself from any FURTHER pain with the lawyers if you can. That's all.
You won't get the "suck it up" speech from me. Ever.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I DO HATE IT. IT DOES SUCK. That doesn't mean I'm not also preparing for this thing since it seems to be really happening.
Yes it does suck and I know you hate it.
All everyone is saying is the exact samething you just stated. And on top of that try to not dwell on all of the negative things right now. I know it feels damn near impossible but it isn't.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
So about the house -- I almost wish he'd just moved forward in January since he obviously wants this and has since then....if he'd done it then, I wouldn't have a penalty. NOW I'll have a penalty and he's made me late or most likely will this month since I don't have almost 2 months of CS from him........and have been paying a buttload in day care
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
