sorry i feel that " in your time" is not fair. so this GOD likes to see us suffer while sits there?? and beg him to help? no offence im asking an honest question.
Have you cracked your bible while you've been praying? What have you found?
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
ive only wanted her. i need to feel loved too. how may times must i show love and not get it back? now she wont even talk to me. and so you know im off work in 10 mins il go home and get back on there. it might take somt time though. an hour or so.
ok here it is.... weve had many problems in our marriage many are due to accusations of constant cheating. for years i have been the one in our family to do all of the work . she says " im here, isnt that enough!" NO! 19 years ago we saparated & i started seeing someone else, her ex boyfriends sister saw us together and reported it to her. from there ups and downs. we both beat eachother up for years about it.her attitude got so bitter that i warned her if she didnt change she would regret it cuz one day i might find someone else. i did. i told her that i continuously warned her to fight and help fix us and she didnt.i moved in with the O W. i so regretted it. although the OW was everything i could ever have dreamed of,except it wasnt from the one my heart needed it from. i came home,no changes.i left 5 times then returned hoping thing would change. she says "you keep leaving me for her " and in a moment of anger i told her "NO! i keep leaving her for you." i have always truely loved my wife. she just had a hard time returning the favor. ive since been home for 4 months, she moved out 3.5 mmonths ago. nothig i do seens good enough for her. i dont know what im doing wrong.
Who accused who?
Why were the accusations there anyhow?
Were they just after the S when you found someone else?
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
Ok first man. SLOOOOOW DOWN. You sound as desperate if not more so than I was when I first joined this board.
There are no easy one shot solutions. It takes time.
But the time right now the only thing you can do is slow down and evaluate yourself. Breathe man breathe. It's time to re-introduce yourself to you...and you might not like what you see.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
nothig i do seens good enough for her. i dont know what im doing wrong.
Well, how about this right here...
Quote:
i left 5 times then returned hoping thing would change. she says "you keep leaving me for her " and in a moment of anger i told her "NO! i keep leaving her for you."
WOW.
Yeah, she hasnt treated you the way you wanted in your marriage.
but she didnt cheat on you.
you've treated her MISERABLY.
For starters, i would think she'd want to hear you say, that you believe you were 100% wrong in what you did, and you would never do it again.
If you dont believe that... then you're not going to have a good marriage anyway.
your timeline is rather confusing. "19 years ago you separated". Umm.. and then reunited? or you've been separated for 19 years? or...?
If you want to reunite with your wife, you've got a long (years) road ahead of you, from all the damage you've done to her trust, sounds like. decide whether you are ready for that.
For someone who thought he was entitled to shack up with another woman to teach your wife a lesson... MULTIPLE TIMES... doesnt sound like you would be.
I wouldnt be surprised if your wife is on some other self-help forum somewhere, and people are telling her, "he left you 5 times??? dump his butt and get someone better!"
Quote:
i have always truely loved my wife. she just had a hard time returning the favor.
you may have felt that way.. but I'm betting you didnt do a very good job *showing her* that. I'd say you need to work on the "showing" part.
PS: press "return" once in a while
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
wait a second, understand something. we have been separated on and off for 1.5 years. i wasnt always with the O.W. i moved to my parents 3 different times for months to prove to her how sorry and sincere i am for what happened.
each time i wasnt treated any better. i left for a reason. she has the inability to show love in return to har family but im sure one day she will gladly show it to someone else and its not fair to us. Her family.
trust me i have done alot of soul searching. the old me was vary angry and hurtfull. its been about a year process. its just that i now feel lost ,hurt and angry. it seens like nothing ive done to her has helped our family.
now im going to leave her alone all together and hope the space helps us.
