Marriage does NOT make women better, they only get WORSE.
Christ almighty man. Tell that to GEL, HP, Karen, LFL, MJ, and all the other horny women on this board that are trying or tried as hard as they can to get MORE sex from their husbands. You've got to be kidding with that statement, or do you truly believe your earlier "freak of nature" comment. I'm not trying to beat at you man, but you must believe that statement simply cannot be true. That's some extreme hyperbole on your part my man.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I believe Cemar likes to generalise so much because it makes him feel better in his victimhood. If he can feel like he is part of a brotherhood of male victims of manipulative two-faced LD women it makes him feel better than feeling like he has been singled out for such ill-treatment. Or worse that his OWN behaviour might have anything to do with it.
That said, AN, I agree with his basic message which is to GET OUT NOW.
Inertia is what is keeping you in this R, we all suffer from it. But you don't have any kids with her and I guess you don't intend to. Move on and find someone better.
You are doing an excellent job of maintaining your boundaries and these are useful R lessons, but they will be put to much better use elsewhere with better initial material.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
Yes, I read your post. But that does not mean I have to like it.
AN, no you don't have to like it...just know it's not a random piece of literature. You can find the stages of relationships reinforced in many statistical reports, studies, articles etc. So I provided it to you...because you said more than once that you just didn't understand why she behaved one way at the beginning of your relationship but then it stopped.
Am I telling you to quit trying, no. Do I think you should cut bait? Well yeah, but that's me....you are the one who has to make that decision or not. If for whatever reason you feel you want to keep trying, that's up to you of course. Could she make permanent changes? Yeah, maybe...but it would take a considerable effort and an unpredictable amount of time.
Marriage does NOT make women better, they only get WORSE.
Yeah, and you're a perfect gem yourself CeMar. Honestly, can you be more insulting? You are so predictable.
CeMar, I wasn't able to go back and edit my original post to you, but I got to thinking about something and wanted to address it. You speak so generally about women, especially in the statement of yours I quoted. So let me ask you this....how many women have you been married to in order to know that your statement applies to women in general? As far as I know you've married ONE woman, so you have no basis for knowing "women", you have a basis for knowing ONE woman.
Are you trying to infer that the majority of women are HD like the HD ladies on this board? From what I have seen personally and from what I have been reading, I don't think the problem in marriage is too many women with too much desire. Schnarch says that 80% of all marriage are failure do mostly to one spouse having too little desire. Dr. Smalley, says that 90% of all marriage counselling is due to one spouse having to little desire. A recent poll posted on here says that 85% of these spouses openly admit they don't like their desire level.
What spouse do you think they were talking about?
And just to add one comment, my wife openly admits she envies men because we don't change. As she said, women spend their whole life changing, and most of that change is NOT for the better. As she puts it, most everything stops working correctly and just goes to pot.
Cemar wrote: "Maybe I should have said 90% of women. You're in the 10% that are still HD. But your are definitely NOT in the majority"
cemar, women are far more sexual than you can imagine. The sooner you stop trying to categorize a woman's sexuality by your perception of her sexual drive, the sooner you take one small step toward understanding your wife.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
GEL makes an excellent point. How often do you cruise the clubs and bars or go online to dating sites. Granted, there is a lot of game-playing that goes on, but it is clear there are many women who know how to be sexual.
You are right that there are many M's that have problems because the couple is not dealing with sexuality in an appropriate way. But I see that as a failure of our culture to accept sexuality in a healthy way, rather than a failure of MOST women (as you imply) to be in touch with their sexuality. I feel that MOST women are in touch to some degree with their sexuality, many just have let life bog them down (as CM so eloquently put on my thread). There are some exceptions, like my W and perhaps yours, women that have never had the opportunity or inclination to get in touch. But that gives the right person the opportunity to help them grow. It is frustrating, and you have to walk a fine line between helping and controlling, but it could go hand in hand with building intimacy.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
