All I want to say is, giving him the benefit of the doubt is fine...but I did the same with my H when it came to what he was doing...and he was lying to my face the entire time. Do all of them lie...no wouldn't generalize that way, but a great many people who view porn regularly do lie about the extent of their activity.
My H flat-out lied about what he was doing. He would say "it's not like I'm paying to be a member of a website"....he was and he knew it when he said it. He'd been on AFF for 2 years, paying for his membership the entire time. He would say "I'm just looking at pictures", he wasn't...he was actually in the "friends" list of people who had interactive webcams and would regularly receive e-mails from them about when they'd be online through his Yahoo account (these are people he found through AFF). He would say "I would never do that, that stuff is disgusting", yet he did it anyway and lied to my face about it.
If you H does have a porn addiction, it's unfortunately VERY likely there is much more that he is doing than he is admitting to. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but it's VERY likely...with someone like this, it's the nature of the best so to speak.
You are absolutely right GEL - my H used to tell me all the time how disgusted he was about men he would hear about that had affairs and if it was a situation where they went to a prostitute - he didn't want anything to do with them, it disgusted him to the core.
And then what does he do? Has long-term affairs with two of them - go figure. AND, during both those times, he was lying right to my face that he "would never do such a thing to me" and "people like that are sick" etc. etc. Also, whenever he would hear about people that did that, he would make comments about how sick they were, or what low-lifes they were. All the time, he was exactly who he was talking about.
Sorry SP1 - but cheaters, regardless of PA or EA, are masters at lying. I would be thrilled if your H wasn't one of them, but I seriously have my doubts, especially with the drinking that is taking place also.
Have a good weekend, you definitely deserve it.
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
