SG wrote: "Of course, it could always be true love."
Well, in his case, it's "true money". He bled my mother dry of money I was feeding her to hopefully allow her to have a better life, travel, and basically do all the things she didn't get to do earlier in life. So, she never got to do any of those things, and I didn't stop supplementing her because I didn't want to see her have to go back to work. She basically took what she needed to barely get by, and he was always in a constant need of a "few" of her dollars.
When she died, so did the money stream, so he moved on to his next victim.
After she was gone, we took care of all of her estate issues. Going through her checkbook, we figured that he basically owed me about $44,000 dollars.
Sorry for the thread hijack, Mojo. Loafers have a special place in my heart....
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
SG wrote: "Of course, it could always be true love."
Well, in his case, it's "true money". He bled my mother dry of money I was feeding her to hopefully allow her to have a better life, travel, and basically do all the things she didn't get to do earlier in life. So, she never got to do any of those things, and I didn't stop supplementing her because I didn't want to see her have to go back to work. She basically took what she needed to barely get by, and he was always in a constant need of a "few" of her dollars.
When she died, so did the money stream, so he moved on to his next victim.
After she was gone, we took care of all of her estate issues. Going through her checkbook, we figured that he basically owed me about $44,000 dollars.
Sorry for the thread hijack, Mojo. Loafers have a special place in my heart....
-NOPkins-
I know. This board doesn't translate sarcasm very well. *smile* I doubt you'll ever see that money again, but it was kind of you to provide for your mother.
I am very sorry you have to put up with all this mess.
Well, I'm glad I verbalized it because now I'm feeling less enervated/numb and more p*ssed off. I don't deserve to be stuck with this mess just because I want to get laid sometimes and don't want to put up with complete crankiness. However I will figure out how to deal even though my 2bx is a COMPLETE LOSER!
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Sorry for the thread hijack, Mojo. Loafers have a special place in my heart....
Can't hijack my thread. Doors always open. You guys can help yourselves to anything from my fridge too.
2bx isn't really a loafer. He is a WEAK-WILLED QUITTER!
That was nice of you to help out your mother. I'm in the process of working out a mutually beneficial arrangement whereby my son does stuff for my mother in exchange for cheap rent on a room so he can live and work in the college town where she resides. My mother is literally a maniac but my son finds her amusing because she says things like "Your long hair really makes you look like a Cossack."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Recognize that as of now (much like before ) YOU are solely responsible for whatever money comes in to support your children. If or when ex-H contributes it will be like winning a scratch off game. That is how I think of it and how I "budget". I have the child support collected by the state and when he doesn't pay they go after him. We have exactly zero conversations about money - he can talk to the lady at the state child support enforcement about why he doesn't pay. It is the best arrangement to have when you have someone unreliable to deal with.
I have another scenario for your 2bx's next romantic arrangement. He could (like mine) hook up with a really nice codependant lady who has been so torpedoed in relationships that the criterion has gotten to be - a guy who bathes, is nice a fair percentage of the time, doesn't go to jail and doesn't hit me. She is around my age. For this lady (lucky for him), he is a prize!
Recognize that as of now (much like before ) YOU are solely responsible for whatever money comes in to support your children. If or when ex-H contributes it will be like winning a scratch off game. That is how I think of it and how I "budget". I have the child support collected by the state and when he doesn't pay they go after him. We have exactly zero conversations about money - he can talk to the lady at the state child support enforcement about why he doesn't pay. It is the best arrangement to have when you have someone unreliable to deal with.
That is pretty much how I am viewing it. It's all just a bit overwhelming at the moment in terms of pure logistics and paperwork. For instance, half of the info I submitted previously is now incorrect. My H does not reside in the same state as me, his income and employer are not as stated etc. etc.Also, beyond the lack of child support, he has dumped his share of our marital debt on me by not paying towards the negative equity on our house. So basically, I either have to carry him by covering the mortgage solo or sell the house short and take the hit. If he gets a lawyer he can probably try to screw me out of half the value of my business but luckily for me, I value my inventory at cost. I'll be like "Sure, he can have 1/2 my business inventory." and ship him 10,000 volumes of Readers Digest Condensed Novels and pulp Romance.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
What I really need is just a nice reliable reasonably attractive Type 3 f*ck-buddy until I get the rest of this mess straightened out. Somebody to provide me with "just sex" until I've dealt with all this b.s., gotten my kids reasonably set-up as young adults, established my mini-publishing empire and taken the trip to Italy where I will get my *ss pinched as LP proposed. I am thinking that Match.com is not the place I am going to find this guy. I am also thinking that I may have to loosen up my standards regarding monogamy/polygamy and acquire multiple partners. Time to put "She's Gotta Have It" on the NetFlix list and buy a copy of "The Ethical Slut".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Lil: That data is old. Need current data, current theorems, current conclusions.
Mojo: Okay, I'll open up a new account on a different dating site and give you access. You can run my dating life for me like Cyrano de Bergerac. Just tell me where to meet them for coffee and I'll wear a mini-spy-cam. I'll put it in a locket that will dangle between my boobs so that you can get some hard data about how well my Ipex bra is working for me.
No thanks (even though I know you're being sarcastic).
Back to what Corri said:
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Quote: Mojo: Actually, it's probably a good thing that I'm not attracted to nice, normal men because a nice,normal man probably wouldn't find it very validating to be in a relationship with me.
Corri: And... how would that be YOUR problem? And how is it even a problem until it, in fact... happens? You've been married for the last 20 years... how could you possibly KNOW this?
You are not the same person you were then. Your horizon is broader. Don't limit yourself to what you imagined for yourself 20 years ago. You have many more possibilities in your future than you did then.
No thanks (even though I know you're being sarcastic).
Actually, I was being silly but it comes off as sarcastic when I'm in a cranky mood.
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You are not the same person you were then. Your horizon is broader. Don't limit yourself to what you imagined for yourself 20 years ago. You have many more possibilities in your future than you did then.
I'm sure you're right. I'm just not in a very good mood at the moment due to the pile of caca my 2bx has dumped on me. It would not be very validating for anyone to be in a relationship with me in my current emotional state. If I had a man in the house with me right now I would be like "I'm feeling irritable. Let's f*ck so I can better concentrate on my work then you go away."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
