Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? A tiny ray of light

I wish I could afford the DB Coaching. I just can't. I think after the bday dinner I might go semi-dark on her to see what happens. Only thing I can think. I'm still trying to find who I am and with the finances it's hard for me to go and do anything for myself. Ya know?

But on to positive things. Tonight, horses. Friday, celebrating bday (even though i'm paying). I told her all I wanted was her time for my bday.

If anybody has any good ideas of very cheap type hobbies/interests for a guy who does not much care for crowds. Please let me know.

Long-boarding. Fun, takes your mind off things, and once you've purchased the board, the rest is free. My board was about $183, you can get them for less. Look on eBay or local skate shops may have used ones you can but for a lot less.

If not that, hiking, biking, running. Anything you have to concentrate a little to take your mind off your worries.

Sadly i have a really bad knee so a lot of those are out. But thanks for the try.

knitting? I keed, I keed!

Read good books. That has gotten me through many a day the last two months. Get things you're interested in, don't think you just have to read self-help.

I am reading the 5 LL's right now, it's good.

Holy smoke what a roller coaster night. So horse training got canceled due to weather. So I thought our time together was off today.

I was wrong.

She called me up, asked me if I wanted to go with the D1 to get ice cream. I of course agreed. She showed up in the OM's truck to pick me up!

What a ride. She was really tired today. So conversation was light. But it did my heart good. She held my hand when we said goodbye, most physical contact we've had in months.

Overall...I rate it a B- of a day. A lot better then the D's and F's I've been having.

Hmm, imagine that - a pretty decent encounter after all that worrying.

Glad it went pretty well NM. Small signs man, small signs...

I know. I'm still worried but it made up for it. She didn't have to invite me, she chose too. That's makes a big difference in my book.

Here's my thing I'm working on - why worry? What good does it do? I used to ask my W that all the time because she is a huge worrier - always has been as far as I can tell. I've released the need to worry, and it really helps.

Focus on future solutions, focus on future benefits to your family from this time apart, focus on that family picture you're going to take this summer all together, focus on making a marriage so spectacular that all will envy it. If that doesn't make you feel good, nothing will

Thanks JR. I see what you're saying. With a potential OM in the process it's hard not to worry about it though. But you're right. I'm still on a "high" from yesterday. She invited me. She didn't have to. But she did. That's progress. I'm walking on sunshine today.

Atta boy.

Working on yourself and making yourself more attractive to your wife than the OM - he'll be gone in no time. Don't even think about him...