Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Questions for all the "Cheated"

I know what you're saying. My S2 has a lot of problems w/ daddy being gone when it's bedtime. He constantly gets up until I go to bed to come out and tell me he misses Daddy. It's really hard b/c he doesn't understand that, yes, daddy's coming back, but not right away. He kind of seems to think when we say that daddy is coming back, that he's on the airplane right then on his way.

I then think about what having to deal w/ that if H and I were just separated and daddy was 'gone.' It still just floors me that H did all that he did to our family and, in my POV, didn't really try to fix things before he just said 'I'm done.'

Anyway, this a.m. when I talked to H he said 'well, at least it's not forever' (him being gone) and so that's positive to our sitch, but it still crosses my mind that not long ago, he did want it to be 'forever.'

Well, talked to H like I always do - he always wants me to call him to wake him up (when it's our afternoon, it's his a.m.)

Didn't answer the first few times, then answered & didn't sound like he had just woken up. Music in background (alarm clock?) Been cheated on female intuition kicks in. I asked if he was already up and he said 'no.' Talked for a few, but I'm feeling sick to my stomach, been having this wierd feeling for a few days now to be honest.

He did bring up me visiting and said he was going to try to be able to work in the building where I will be staying so he would be there the whole time I'm visiting.

I finally asked if he was ok and he said 'yeah, what's wrong, babe' I said 'nothing, you just sounded funny when I called so I was just making sure you are ok.'

Probably nothing, but I hate feeling this way. I hate that *I feel* he has made me to feel this way and constantly question what he is doing, etc.

Maybe I just forgot my AD this a.m. Sh*t, I hate this!!!!

Cades-

Let it go. You don't KNOW anything. I have the same problem. I keep filling in the blanks. WE have to take it day by day.
It's amazing how everything seems fine and you are happy. Have plenty of happy thoughts and then we get that one little devil standing on our shoulder and whispers 1 bad thought in our ear and we are bummed the rest of the day.

Smile, climb back on the happy wagon. Sept. will be here soon

Husband

Ok, it just makes me angry that I have to even question whether he has some OW in his room!!!

In our entire M and still now, I never even came close to having any sort of EA let alone PA, etc. It wasn't even that it just wasn't an option for me, it wasn't something I even thought of doing or allowing to happen!

Husband ... You nailed it. Thanks even I needed to read that post Today!!!!

So sorry Cades you are feeling like this... H is right and when we fill in the blanks we make it way more GRAND/UGLY than it really is.
I am struggling w/ this today too. It sucks ..
You and I both need to kick that Devil off our shoulder... he keeps whispering to me too and none of it is positive.
Love, Ali

OMG~ I feel like this at times too and like when "they" get off the phone they are just laughing at you.
Sorry I am not helping much am I ? It just makes you crazy is what is does and they really have no idea , cause if they do that is downright cruel. I am getting angry with you Cades... vent and let it out ,, hang in there! Just rememebr the mind is a powerful very powerful thing!!!!!!!

Love, Ali

Yeah, Ali, I probably need to go back & read what I wrote to YOU on your thread!!! Everything's always easier said than done, you know!!

Is your intuition really going off? Or are you just feeling insecure cause the routine was broken? Elaborate~ please....
Love, Ali

I'm really not sure. I've just had this uneasy feeling the past few days, but it could be b/c I didn't talk to him at all yesterday. When I talked to him this a.m., he said he went to sleep really early the night before (which would have been when I normally would have talked to him yesterday a.m.) and then got up late and didn't even know whether I had called or not to wake him up. He hasn't been sleeping well and said he thinks he finally just crashed.

It's all obviously believable, but in the wake of being cheated on (numerous times throughout our M), it's hard not to wonder if something else is going on when his circumstances are perfect for cheating & not getting caught. I guess I just need to work on the trust issue some more. I'm reading "After the Affair," but I just started it.

Wow sweetie.. I know exactly how you feel. We get so caught up in their "past" that it seems inevitable that they will repeat it. I am not much help cause I havent had my intuition go off at all like you kind of are, so sorry to hear that. MAYBE IT IS JUST YOUR NERVES and too much mind wandering? I am sure that is all it is!!!

Focus on "MY H is telling me the truth and I need to stay calm and focus on the positive."

I am still trying to figure out my H last nite when I was on the phone with him ( his is "broken" and he is using his friends) SOMEONE WAS CALLING APPARENTLY AND he outright said her number to me and said "honey is that my bosss' number and I said NO I have no idea whose that is????? " good grief. DOUBLE Somedays this is too much isnt it?


Maybe he really just did finaly fall asleep. Just a few days ago , My sleep had been close to nil these past few days. I fell asleep and my H called me twice and I never heard it . I ALWAYS, I MEAN ALWAYS ,HEAR THE PHONE.
So give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe when he calls and you sound sad again and he asks again " Say nothing Honey/XXXX I just miss you a lot is all and I 'd love to give you a big hug right now." or something like that.
Love , Ali
P.S.~ I hoped I helped some cause Lord knows I am feeling insecure right now myself.
All my best to you Honey,, hang in there. Enjoy the book and think positive. What you focus on expands!