Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Why do these things happen...for the better I hope

Fine
Just trying to figure out how to delete myself at this site. Or just delete myself period.

That's awesome dude. Now get that extra crap out of your signature

Do you have IM on yahoo or AIM or something? If so, give me your user name...

I am fine JR and Jazz.
I actually left right after that and went to a AA meeting, my first in a long ass time, I then went and sat in a church.

I am not mad at AMYC, it was just everything. It was not until a few minutes ago that I actually read the whole thread, I had left after writing to JAZZ and that is where I picked up this morning when I came back and I was being screamed at, and just pretty much stopped.

I have to take off, I will be back late tonight, 11 or so .

Take care guys.

OK, good to hear. Now focus on the good things you've got going on.

Good to hear about the AA meeting, that kind of gathering can help in more ways than the obvious.

Well, today seemed to be just another day were I was ready to give up on anything and everything. Now it is closing in on midnight and I am not sure why, this actually seems to be one of my best days mentally.
I went to an AA meeting for the first time since I quit drinking, actually not sure if that helped or not, but it got me out of the house.
While driving home I stopped by a church, I have never been in a church except for weddings or funerals. I pulled up and walked to the doors and it was open, didn't see anyone around. I walked in and milled around for a bit, then sat down on one of the aisles and just sat, looked around at the windows while lost in thought. I started skipping thru a bible that was on the bench. I don't think I had ever opened one in my life.
Now while sitting and going thru the bible, a guy, found out he was a priest after I jumped, came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder and said you look like you could use a friend, may I sit with you. We ended up talking for almost 3 hours. It was one of the best talks I have ever had with anyone in my life. Well he knows my entire life history now. He was very understanding, he didn't push religion or god, just talked like a regular everyday person. When it was all done, I made him one promise, and it is a promise I will keep. He asked me to come sunday for services, and to come a half hour early to meet with him again, he only made me promise for one time and then it was up to me if I ever showed up again. My son and I will show up, I owe it to him for spending his afternoon with me and my problems.
Tonight is now one of my most mentally relaxed states I can remember, I still do not see my self as a church type person, but who knows.
No matter what, today is the day I am changing, I am going to lose the bad attitude, I am going to lose all the negative feelings that I have been having daily, I am going to start controling my emotions so I am not going up so high and down so low. Today is the day I am going to start living, not matter how the M ends up. Don't get me wrong, I would do anything to have my family back, but I will no longer allow that to control who or what I am. I have been letting it control me, but no more.

Anyone who I have offended the last couple days, I am truly sorry. Can I claim that I am a male, and still married ???

Everyone have a wonderfull night, and an even better wednesday.

Great post 789! Thanks for sharing it with us.

In reading books, I am still trying to figure one thing out.
Is my W a WAW or MLC or just one smart cookie to leave and alcoholic ?

She's not MLC, she's still in the game. If his wife is MLC, then mine is too.

They just had too much stuff pile on and no way to deal with it so they ran - temporarilly.

789, keep doing your thing, right along with the rest of us and it'll be cool.

You don't have D papers yet, right?

Well I dont think she is MLC, but then when reading the stages again, I can actually see all of them and pretty much in that order. Just a heck of alot quicker than they say.
If I tried to remember it all in order I would say no longer than 9-12 months and would say she is in stage 5. As for deppression, she does have that, I have even taken her to the doctor for that one. The only thing missing is having a OM.
She has withdrawn from everyone. The only ones she told about getting a D is her family and one couple we hang out with. Everyone knows we are seperated, but she has not even told anyone at work, and that is were all her friends are from. As for her parents, who she talks to the most, they are not even sure what is going on in her head, they also give me the advice of just give her time.
Sometimes I wish it were just the alcohol, that is something I am changing and can fix. As for all the rest of the possibilities, the ball is on her side of the court and I am just waiting to see where she hits it.