Listen to what everyone here is saying UA. I need to aswell.
There is nothing you can do right now to change his mind. Focus on you and your daughter.
I have heard the same things for 18 months now from my H. Until you have D papers in front of you, nothing has changed. He wants a D, let him do the work, let him stress about it.
I KNOW it is really hard. You are strong, you can do this.
Give him time and be patient. We are all here for you.
here you are at the top O' my list and i can't add much. Ian has said everything I would as well as Amy.
I see you going dark, and all of a sudded all heck breaks loose. I think H is making damn sure to suck you into the drama so you aren't too far out of his reach when he gets HIS stuff figured out. He is talking a good story about D and he has for 2 weeks or more but he has yet to proceed..........
When I had to obtain my LS I just did it, I didn't threaten I just opened the phone book and got a L, W found out after the fact. thats what a serious person does. Your H is out for his pound of flesh, he thinks hurting you will end his own pain, it's gonna take time for him to realize that it won't work. There is no D in progress until you have been served, remember that.
I can see he still has some feelings for you by the way he has done certain things. Myspace girl and this EA OW or whatever you wanna call her.
Maybe she really did just show up, he sees her there and knows it's gonna anger you, he is working through what HE needs to do to r with you so he tells your D what he did. Maybe he didn't want you to know that EA OW was there because he was in fear of you calling it quits.........see where I am going, kinda explains the later phone call doesn't it.
Now as a man who has had this happen I have an idea of what he feels and why but there is nothing you can do to change this, except for 1 thing you are in the process of doing. Find another job.
If you need some more you know where to find me
Keep your chin up, it doesn't look as bad to me as it does to you.
You know everyone is just trying to help you. We wouldn't want you to give up even if you felt your marriage is over. We all feel our marriages are over at one time or another. Instead of going dark and what you need to do is just let go. Let go of all the hurt. Let go of all the comments he has made and everything he has said to you. Think back to happy times. Until you can let go of all of the hurt, you can't heal. You must heal yourself before you can even think to heal your marriage.
Try not to think about what your H is doing. It is hard but when you don't know, it makes life easier. Once you learn to let go and live your life, things start to look better. I know everyone tells you that you are a strong woman and I am sure right now you don't feel that way. That is ok, not everyone can be strong all the time.
No one here is trying to make you out to be the bad guy. You need to stop focusing on the past and start living in the present. Don't even look to the future. You say your H keeps bringing up your little indescretion, well next time he does just ignore him and change the subject. Actually, don't even talk about your relationship with him.
I think a trip would do you good. It will get you away from everyone and the situation. I know when I take the kids places I always feel better. It is tough at first but then you begin to have so much fun you forget about things.
If Disney World is too expensive, you can always go to Orlando and go to Sea World. We went and loved it. I still have all the home videos we took.
