I just found this old post from 6/19/06 and thought it was worth a reminder.
Quote:
One of the first things God took me through during those first weeks out of the MLC tunnel was all the feelings my husband went through. To say it took my breath away is an understatement. I have a keen understanding of that part. But not HIS walk back. It is hard to put myself in his place. I know that he even talks to me is a miracle in itself and to be kind and friendly is more than I deserve. That is why part of what I pray is for mercy. Because I don't want to GET what I DO deserve. It is all under the Blood. God IS merciful. But the rest of the walk is up to my husband though. He has to be willing to step out of the boat. I can't push him over the side.
I got called on the carpet Saturday night when reading my Bible. I asked God for a Word. Boy did He give me one.
She said two things have happened to her (one was a dream, she didn't tell me what the other was) that led her to tell me that I am to "lay across the bed and breathe and speak life into" my husbands pillow.
Last night I confess, I did not take the time to really search the Word for references to what she told me. I did use my Concordance to look up "Breathe" and I made a note to read Ezekiel 37. I just did and I have been blown away.
The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones death . 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know." 4 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! 5 This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' " 7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. 9 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.' "
I think I am entering a new level of understanding and prayer.
Praising God Daily, Remaining "FaithfulH" Me: 62 W: 62 D:33 S:30 & 31 Married: 40 Years BD: Sep 2006 Piecing: May 2007 2nd BD: May 2014 Working On It: Today
Dang. I was up WAY too late last night and ended up sleeping half the day away.
All right so I went over there around 5:30 and D11 took off to go play with her friend up the street around 6pm. H and I sat down in the living room talking and he told me about having surgery. It's either the 11th or the 13th, he will know for sure tomorrow. As he always does because he never has an adult to talk to, he talked my ears off which is fine with me. He was talking about finances and D11 needing to help him more, etc... At one point I just got up and went over and gave him a hug, which he returned. Remember, this one of the things he said he'd missed when I was in MLC, that I never just spontaneously hugged him, kissed him or told him I loved him anymore. Since the ice started breaking with us a couple months ago, I have definitely turned that into a habit once again. Anyway, I had to leave at 7pm to go p/u S14 and now THREE of his friends from Busch. On the way out the door, H asked me if S14 and I wanted to come back over for dinner. I said "sure" and told him we'd be back around 8:30, and we were. When we got back, H was cleaning out the fishtank and I started helping him with that. Once that was done and everything was cleaned up, he and S14 talked about that new roller coaster (Griffon), which S14 had ridden in the very first row . I can barely listen to him describe because there's just something about my first born dangling 205 feet in the air that makes me ill.
As the evening wore on, we cooked dinner and he and S14 chatted and D11 was in and out of the kitchen (with the ferret, who's always good for entertainment). S14 and H had a sweet moment when H told him he is proud of him (talking about school and going into 10th grade and stuff like that). It seemed to come out of the blue and I could tell it meant a lot to S14. I just turned back to the stove and smiled. H is man of few words when it comes to S14, they work and play together and bond but alot goes unspoken (except for the high-five accompanied "love ya, man" stuff) so that was really a cool moment. H was in a low key mood which made him very open. At one point we were messing with each other over how to cut a potato and he started talking about something, I don't even remember what and as he was standing at the counter I just walked up behind him and put my arms around him and laid my cheek up against his back, which is tanning beautifully I might add and was very warm (yes, he was shirtless ).
Let's see...I am terrible about remembering word for word stuff so I'll just tell it like I tell it.
We cooked, we talked, we played, we laughed. He mentioned waking up with a crick in his neck and being sore so I rubbed him down for about 20 minutes. From that point on it seemed I constantly had my hands on him. He was leaning forward in the chair and I was sitting on the arm of it running my fingers through his hair, rubbing his back, scratching his back...that kind of stuff. Several times he said "that feels good, Amy" (he ain't seen nothin' yet! ). It was simple, easy, like it used to be before the MLC. The huge difference which still amazes me is that I used to be so narrow minded, only thinking/living inside each single moment and MY feelings at that moment and now I have a constant view of the big picture and the larger meaning of it all... and it just never ceases to blow my mind.
It was getting late and I was getting tired. S14 was wiped out from Busch, too, so I was getting ready to go. He started asking me to talk to D11 about helping him when he has the surgery and I was kneeling by his chair as he talked. I guess these old bones don't like that too much because my own legs started hurting and as I stood up, he patted his leg and told me to come sit there on his lap. I am pretty sure I did a leap right over the arm of the chair and was there within 2 seconds, smiling with my dress pulled up my leg sexily. HA! No, I didn't. I was very careful because of his knee. I sat there with him for a few minutes and he talked some more and I was still very touchy feely. We talked then until it was after midnight. Then I left, saying I'd come back over today (because he was still talking and I had to cut him short because S14 was LAYING on the couch and whining about leg aches.
The biggest thing I got him to agree to is to let me take care of him when he has surgery. I'm taking him, staying with him and I'm bringing him home. I will be there all that day and get dinner for D11. Then I will be over there every single day until he is better, which will be a few weeks. He'll also have to have therapy.
. I can barely listen to him describe because there's just something about my first born dangling 205 feet in the air that makes me ill. 
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