Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy Need another opinion, is my W OM, friend or more?

Husband,

You are right. I shouldn't dwell on things, or make my thoughts wander.

1 time or 10 times, doesn't really matter.

I wanted to ask anyone out there about my sitch.

My wife wants D and has OM she is dating. She has divided up the days we manage/take care of our 3 kids. I have respected her time with them but last night I was wondering why I don't have dinner w/ my kids everynight? If she's not adult enough to go 20 minutes without getting upset that's not my problem right.

One note, I am currently utilizing the LR and GAL since she doesn't want to communicate w/ me. Does this violate those rules about giving them space? I just want to be with my kids everyday, not necessarily her. Any thoughts on the matter?

I don't understand the arragement?

are you two in the same house?
husband

Hi husband,
Thanks for answering. Yes we are in the same house. She wanted me to move out after she told me she was in love w/ OM, and wanted a D. What a B$$ch

I said No. So now I have the master bedroom and she sleeps in a small room upstairs.

She divided the days we take care of the kids re: meals, school, pickup. She told me to stay away when she has her meals w/ kids. I invited her to join us for dinners but stopped offering when I used LR. I would like to eat dinner w/ my kids every night, even on her nights. I figure I can be adult enough to sit down an enjoy my kids w/out arguing for 20 min. Can't she?

So my question is, does this go against LR if I join my family for dinner when I know I am not welcome by her?

BTW, I hope your sitch is coming along better.

Don’t have much time will write more latter. My house is the same as far as the sleeping arrangements go.
No offence but the eating thing is the strangest behavior I have heard yet about a WAW.

Anything within reason that makes your W uncomfortable you should avoid but this eating thing I need to think this one over. Very Intriguing
Does she expect you to eat in your room like a bad little boy?

I need to go back and read your sitch.

You are serious right. Because this almost sounds like a plot to a T.V show.

I’m not trying to make fun if your sitch it's not funny at all but it is strange…

I’ll get back to you when my “chores” are done...

Husband

WAW-I am by no means an expert and my advice is free and you gett what you pay for.

No disrespect intended, but you need to stand up for your rights. When she told you to move out, you did the right thing by saying no. Eat when and where you want. If she is so insistant on you not being around her, tell her to pack a bag. If you allow her to do this, IMHO, you are giving her all the power. Let your kids see who is being the adult and stable influence. Just my opinion.

Also, get the book Way of the Superior Man by David Deida and subscribe to the daily newsletters at http://www.makingherhappy.com

Good luck.

Chores!! I gave those up when the W asked for the D. Now I only do chores when necessary.

I'm not sure what seems so strange about my sitch. My wife hates me, cant stand to talk or look at me. why would she want to eat w/ me?

Anyway, do I join mi familia at dinner or not?

Just got up this morning.

Ready to take DD to her soccer game.

Had trouble sleeping after last nights revelations. Had DD sleep in my bed and just watched her all night, she does not really understand what is happening.

Saw a picture she drew at school yesterday, had our house, mummy and daddy and DD with pets and a sunny backdrop. She is still asleep and I will wake her in 15 minutes.

I thought the pain would lessen, I suppose I am not crying like I did when this started, but it still hurts. I hope my sitch will end in a successful one, but the more I think about how my W's self confidence being shattered due to me, the more it worries me.

She has been loyal to me for 17 years, I cant see her just having a fling with OM and not trying to make it long term, that is one of her qualities, she will probably give it a really good try, and put up with more than most would just because she is loyal, and her loyalty and feelings are for OM now.

MC,
Thanks for the advice. Since it is free, I'll take it cautiously. I think you do have a good point. I am currently walking on eggshells since she has filed for separation but we aren't separated physically(under same roof). I will take your advice and if it works great!

If not, then I might be back to square one on DBing. Remember, I'm the one that wants to keep the M working. She wants D. She has backup OM. She's going thru MLC. She's the pain in the A$$.
Don't quit your day job for M counseling yet. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Andyv,
Be strong for your DD. She needs you now more than ever to be the man you are. We are all rooting for your reconciliation. Unfortunately, our wives have a large say in the outcome. All we can do is GAL and PMA to keep from going crazy. I think I know exactly how you feel andyv.

My wife is leaving for a business trip Monday and I did the wrong thing by snooping and finding out that OM is planning on meeting her there to have a rompfest. It just about killed me.

I asked her this morning to call the kids daily or at least take their calls to say good night and she wigged out saying I'm painting her as the bad guy and I'm being condescending. I know to believe none of what she says since she's in MLC mode, but it still hurts when she talks to me in a disrespectful manner in front of my kids. The more I think about what she's doing now, the more attractive D looks. It's only been 2 weeks of DBing and 1 month after the bomb. I'm too impatient.