Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis MLC thoughts and observations

Hi DNQ,

I think I am losing my mind about all of this. I am not sure what to think anymore.

I am trying to figure out why I am going with this. I have spoken to several people about since I wrote what I wrote. I still question if this really is MLC but I am told that it is. Based upon many of the facts.

Here is a thought, maybe I question the communication breakdown because it did break down (in some ways) But is that because of the earlier stages of MLC? Or is it really a communication thing?

Mimi

That is the way I feel. But like I said it was a whole lot worse over the last 18 months. So could that be the onset of this MLC. The denial and Anger phase.

mimi

In a year I might be selling my wedding ring to buy a boob job, then I would look fabulous in that bikini instead of just ok. I figure that if I am being forced back into the singles life, I might as well maximize my chances this time. (Let's see if we invest $5000 into this surgery, what is the potential payoff in terms of increased wage earning and fabness of new partner versus not investing the $5000?) Seriously, I would be doing it for my self esteem and confidence while wearing that bikini or Victoria Secret attire.

Different reasons...well, yes. But I feel a big part is that it is more than accepted in our society--it is encouraged. We either avoid and deny problems or try to fix them ourselves--without counseling. Then when it's not too late, but we think it is, we file for divorce. Many don't even go to a counselor as a last resort. To me, the effort begins with counseling...and yes, sometimes one or both put no effort in then either...they use it as an excuse that they tried--BS. Braveheart, you actually gave an excellent answer further down the post...

Becaue they are the exception. It's different for them. They aren't everyone else. They aren't a statistic. And there are some who don't know the stat...and if they did they would go back to those excuses I just gave. Love sees clearly; In-Fatuation is blind.

This is really what I wanted to address. This may not be a popular answer and you may not like it, but it's Biology.

In general, men have a greater problem with their wife's sexual infidelity and women have a greater problem with abandonment. So woman want the spouse there for protection and security, men want the spouse faithful for reproductive insurance. Look at the cultures where polygamy is a way of life--many woman and one man. He knows those kids are his--same thing with other animals.

Yes, we are animals and thus we are still controlled by our Biology. But we are self-aware. Cogito ergo sum. So what, self-awareness doesn't negate Biology.

Younger woman are in their prime child-bearing ages and sorry, but biologically that is the attraction--even for men not consciously wanting children. Older men are more mature and financially secure--they have sown the oats and have the experience and finances to settle down and take care of a wife and children.

Sure, technology and society have changed. Woman or men can raise a child alone. But we have not evolved at the same rate as technology...our biology is still that of the hunters and gatherers.

It comes down to the selfish gene. Sure men, and Braveheart in particular, you love your children whether they are yours biologically. That is part of culture and awareness, not biology. Biologically each gene wants to replicate itself--and could care less whether another gene replicates. Put them together in a single being and the being wants to replicate. Look at all of the animals who kill the young of a potential mate. The mate may then go into estrus faster, she can dedicate herself to his children and they have can survive.

And I'm not saying we are like this completely. We are more than the sum of our parts. We can choose. We live beyond instinct.

HUGS,
RCR

I've been looking for a tagline to attach to my signature. Could be onto something here!

OK, shouldn't chime in here, but this all seems so tongue-in-cheek, so......

First of all, for $5k were you only planning on getting one done? Maybe they're cheaper there than here in California, where I think they are mandatory now, but the last thing you want to do is choose your surgeon based on price.

Second, speaking as a man whose wife did this (before I met her, but re-did them last year), I was never really into "those" as much as other aspects of a woman's body. Now, I have come to see the light! My only recommendation; do it for YOU and your self confidence, never for someone else. Regarding the increased wages of a new fab partner - one answer - yes.

.......I'm going to get blasted for this, aren't I?

LOL DNQ

I've seen a few sets of the budget ones, they kinda look 0o so to speak

I've wanted to get one forever but H would not allow it. He was a leg man. They are cheaper in the mid-west. I am just using the $5K price because that is what my friend paid. The weird thing is that I am happy with the rest of my body but NEVER felt like a woman because of this. I've had two children, breastfed them for two years each, and still feel like I am waiting for puberty to come.

What do men really feel about it? Do even intelligent men (like the ones on this board) feel it is ok? My H always hated women who got them and classified them as superficial. I don't want to have big ones. I just want to feel normal. Sorry, to ask about this on your thread, I just really want to know.