Matilda and Husband, The dance last night was mixed with success and difficulty.
The dance was a milestone moment for me. It was important for me to see and be seen as part of the salsa dance community. I danced with classmates, old friends, and others. I was able to dance with confidence outside of my usual venue and studio settings.
I was there when the place opened at 9PM and left around midnight. This is a very good night for me. My usual length of stay is two hours.
My W showed-up around 11PM. I did make an offer to dance with her, but the performances started, and we had to stop.
After the performance, I saw her dancing with the guy she left with on Friday night. Jealousy began to creep in. I no longer wanted to stay. I became self-conscious, as we don't act like a couple, and people might be wondering what's going on with us. She also was making critical comments about the performers.
I excused myself from the table, and kept walking out the door and to my car with my dance shoes on. I felt badly that I left abruptly, but I knew that I could no longer be present for anyone on the dance floor. It was time to leave and preserve what I had accomplished that evening.
One of my fears is that I am no longer going to be able to tolerate this situation. I can't live in an arrangement like this indefinitely. I write daily, so will journal my experience in my notebook.
I will try to get back on track, and have an enjoyable day.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Midnight? Sounds like ya did fine to me. I also think leaving so you could “preserve what I had accomplished that evening.” Was a good Idea as long as you did it gallantly. Just kind of got up said your good bys and left. As opposed to getting up slamming the chair in and storming off. It must be hard seeing your W. with someone else. I have not had that opportunity yet. (seeing my wife not yours) I am sure I will not handle it as well as you have. Remember we want your W to leave on the cruse with good. Happy thought about you. I can’t write much today just got up. I went clubbing with a friend of mine last night. Had a great time but I’m kind of feeling it right now. One thing I did learn last night. Women travel in packs now days. If it were not for my son, if things didn’t work out between my W and I. There is a life out there. Interesting thing last night I could have soooo easily lowered my self to my W standards BUT I DIDN”T. I AM MARRIED. It‘s like being able to pass on desert when you are on a diet and feel good about it.
Glad to here of your milestone CL and remember happy thoughts for the W
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
husband it is funny that you said that. my bil called me friday and told me that my h is trying to get my family to see that what he is doing is not wrong.(which is not going to happen)my h says that he has the right to be happy and be with ow(even though we are still married.) he said that he has the right to date whoever he wants and i can go out and date whoever i want that there is no crime in this. granted no one will be arrested but i value my marriage vows and i take them seriously. i think he is just saying this bc it is an excuse. also if i were to date someone right now(which i wouldn't) he could get rid of the guilt he is feeling. cl i have not had to see my h with the ow but i know it is coming soon and i am not looking forward to see my h with the ow but i know it is coming soon. i just hope i do as well as you did and stay calm and not show how much it hurts.i admire you for how you delt with the situation.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
