Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE I Will Not Go Quietly

To me maybe she is also use to you being distant with her Choc. That could be why she feels like she would be imposing on you. I am just saying as a woman and my husband insisted on coming and then maybe took me out to lunch it would make me real happy. If she is pushing you away all the better to show her you are here to fight for the marriage. The old Choc would NOT be confrontational or demanding. The new Choc is strong and shows he is here for the fight.

Choc,

Your wife is NOT pushing away hard. Read some of the other sitches on the other parts of these boards. Your W is much more involved with you than most. W DID call you when she returned your call, you punished her by not calling her back. She is going out to dinner with you. She is talking to you regularly.

Do NOT go to the doctor's office with her. Sure, just like many people here, I like it when H goes to the doctor with me. Again, your W is not like me or the other women here.

Maybe this post on crowding one's spouse will help you see what I am trying to get at: Water Cooler Post

Funny how we all have different opinions. I like the idea of telling her you'll meet her at the doctor's to take her to lunch.

Okay Choc. Food for thought.

Testing.

Her saying, "no, I don't want you to go," is her way of saying... "no, I don't want to bother you. Show up anyway."

It would mean a lot to her. Don't ask her. Just do it.

Corri

And yes... at first, this IS going to feel like 'crowding' to her. Do it anyway. She's not used to you being around... even tho she wants you to be around. BTDT.

Take time off work and just do it. Be cheery about it, too, dam it.

corri

If it were me (as in NOT Mrs Choc) I would be massively irritated.

Unless you pulled off the calm & assured & notatallgrabby/needy thing very well, and just breezed in, kept her laughing throughout the entire visit, and took her for a fun lunch.

Then maybe.

You just may be my slightly older and much nicer twin, seperated at birth.

Though I'm not sure people around here would label me as nice. Guffaw! Ask Hairdog.

Corri

Take time off work and just do it. Be cheery about it, too, dam it.

corri
I am with corri on this one Choc.

Your W wanted someone to go with her. D is one of her best friends, you be the new friend.

Lou

Lou,

Throughout all of our problems, I have BEEN her "best friend." That was never a problem with us.

I want to be her HUSBAND again.

I appreciate everyone's responses, but I won't be going, showing up, OR taking her to lunch. Until she shows me SOME indication that she is even willing to have me in her life, I will continue being the best man and dad that I can be. But I'm done with the calls and the small signs of caring and affection.

Choc.