Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy My Marriage still feels hopeless

wow... I have a ton of respect for you and what you have done to stand up for your marriage and your family. Your wife is still in the fog of the A and will be for a while. Once she comes out, you can really begin to focus and see how to heal your marriage.

More prayers just said for you and your family.

Ditto.

Don't sweat it on the counselor phone call. The C shouldn't say anything about it at all to your wife. My best to you. At least she seems to see what she stands to lose. It's not JUST kids. If she didn't want to be there, she wouldn't be there. Breathe. If she couldn't live without OM she'd find a way to be with him. She is heading in the opposite direction. That is a good sign. I konw it might not feel that way to you.

May your next theme park ride be a merry go round

Hopefully it is one of those little kids miniature merry go rounds.

Here is a couple of more details that I forgot to mention in my last post.

1. My W wedding band is off.
2. After my W told the OM that she could nolonger talk with him, he decided to involve my W good friend. The OM W left me a message saying that he had 3 separate conversations of 20+ minutes with my W good friend on Saturday. This A-hole is making this sitch a whole lot worse involving more people like this. What a di@#.

Thanks again everyone for your support. Since I cannot legally force her out of the house hopefully this boundary can be respected by my W. We will see how this goes.....

God Bless,
EmtnRllrCstr

All right everyone please hit me with a 2x4. I am a snoop...there I confessed it. I am a snoop. Through more snooping I discovered that my W was looking for apartments last week while I was out of town. I guess it is good to know that she was not planning on living with the OM, but, I do not want my 2DD staying in some strange apartment. Heck, I do not want that for my W, but, that is her choice not mine.

I talked to the OM W again today, I promised her the otherday that I would call her back, I did not want to go back on my word. The funny thing that I discovered is that my W and the OM are lying to each other. He told my W that he served his W D papers, but, it was actually the exact oppposite that happened. BTW him and his W are still screwing around. I guess my W doesn't care that he is cheating on her. This A/R is a train wreck waiting to happen. The crappy thing is learning that this A-hole is still having his needs meet, I haven't had anything since all this started - 4+ months.

I don't think that I mentioned this earlier, but, the extent of the lieing is crazy. My neighbor who is aware of the sitch helped my W with our lawn mower while I was out of town. When she told me the story she told me that a different neighbor helped her out. Why lie about something as simple as this? I do not understand her rightnow. She seems to be hell bent on leaving me. All I have ever done is loved and provided for her as best I could and she doesn't see that. She is the victim....I trampled on her heart. I only saw her as a sex object.. When will she stop lying to herself and everybody else that loves her.

God Bless,
EmtnRllrCstr

I know.. I know.. It's like they can't stop lying. I know of lies that the OW was telling my H but I look like the idiot if I try to tell him anything. It's just nuts to the BS and everyone else! Eventually, it all blows up in their faces, though.

My W called me today and asked me if it was ok if she went to my 5D t-ball game tonight, to which I said I had no problems with. She then asked if she could come over tonight to give the girls baths and put them to bed and then she would leave. I also agreed to this, maybe I shouldn't have but I have to think of my DD and not myself. The fact that she is asking me for permission is a huge 180 in our R. Let's hope this is the first stage of our reconcilation.

I agree with the blowing up in their face. I think things are finally starting to blowup in my W face. She doesn't have her home, is not able to put the girls to bed at night, and people that she loves finally know the truth that the A is continueing. She also stated Monday that she is going to be going to my SIL church and that she is going to be joining their Celebrate Recover program. I am have to assume she is joining this group so that she can get past the feeling of her rape and probably recover from the effects of our M. It sucks that she now feels that our M was so bad and that I am such a miserable person to be M to. I am praying that her heart starts to soften towards me.

Feelings change. Keep praying.

Well my W and my IL went to 5D t-ball game. I had fun even though the interaction between my W and I was.....well there is no interaction. After the game was over my W brought our girls home and got them ready for bed, while I went grocery shopping. While at the store I decided to buy a couple of magazines so that I can replace my W magazines with ones that I would actually enjoy reading. With me at home at night I decided to have a little more of me in this house and not so much of my W. So replacing her magazines with InFisherman and Mens Health I think is a good start. Next, I am going to stop all her DVR recordings at night, they always start recording something while I'm in the middle of watching a show.

My W looked miserable tonight, don't know if that is because of me or because she is trying to get over the OM.

One of my pastors a couple of weeks ago offered to start bringing meals to the house for my family while we are going through this crazy time. I intially turned him down, but now that I have the girls at night a meal that I don't have to cook from time to time will defiantly help. He is the one that was here the other night and confronted my W so he said that he would be the one to bring the meals to our house. He doesn't want anybody else knowing about the sitch either.

I really wonder how long my W will let our current arangement go on for. She had to get up at 4 am every morning to get to the house in time for me to leave for work. This will take a toll on anybody not used to being a early riser. I am going to be firm with my stance that I do not want her back into the house until the A is proven to be over, I just cannot legally keep her from coming home.

My W never mentioned to me what her and her C talked about and if we are going to do MC with her counsler or another C. I am going to give her a few days before I bring it up.

Something has been gnawing at me since I talked to the OM W earlier today. Maybe this is me being hopefull, but since they are still being effectionnent with each other you would think that there might be hope for them. Even though my M feels hopeless I hope that my W truely does end it and give their M a chance.

The OM W told me she saw her L as soon as she heard from me that my W was caught at his hotel room. So in away the info that I feed his W pushed her over the edge. I told her truth so there is nothing for me to be ashamed of but it stinks that is was my info that got the ball rolling on their D.

Time for me to wind down for the night.

God Bless,
EmtnRllrCstr

Dont' be so hard on yourself about the other couple's D. I'm sure she already suspected it and would have confirmed it some way or the other. It was her decision to start D. But if you are concerned that this might push your wife to file D since she knows that he is getting D, it hasn't in my sitch. The OW filed for D 3 days after my H moved out and he still hasn't filed for D. That was 6 montths ago. Keep PMA up and DBing. I also think the meal idea is excellent. It gives you time to relax and enjoy your children.