Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums We're separated--What Now? Why do these things happen

Well since I am still new to this, is it normal for the W to act like nothing in the world is going on?
Just watching her I would think everything in her life is peachy and not a thought running thru her head. I must say it kind of makes me feel that I am completely out of her mind and nothing more than a neighboor she knows.

so be the same way but act like her best friend. Go with the flow for a while, see where it gets you.

You know I'm jealous you even get to see your wife, so jut let it ride for a bit.

I am not really sure if I would be jealous, seeing them almost seems worse. Especially when I just want to break down and cry. I want keep the good thoughts. I realize this is still very new compared to lots of people here, I honestly do not know how they do it sometimes. I sometimes sit here and just wonder if I could just walk away from it all and just give up, that it would just be better and end it quicker.

Well I think I am going to do what I have been avoiding. Calling for a DB coach, so if I can hold out and not do anything stupid around wife long enough to save up the money I think it will be worth the money and effort. It still seems wierd to me that thru it all I still love her with all my heart. I thought about all the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still believe she is the women I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I have read the thread on telephone consultations, and seen the posts for all the positives. The question I have here is, are anyone who posts here currently using it and what is your honest opinion.
Thanks in advance.

I have been going to Jodi. She's awesome! Really helpful, worth every penny, and my thing is, how much is my marriage worth? It's priceless, so the price I have to pay to talk to a DB professional, is minimal in comparison.

I was waiting for the third session til after something happened with my W, so I'll be calling for that appointment after Thursday I'm sure.

Bottom line, it's well worth it. I may even pony up for 3 more sessions, we'll see how Thursday goes.

Back to your other point about seeing your wife, I can see how that would be harder. I'm actually pretty thankful for the time off because I wouldn't have left her alone if I could have talked to her and I would have buried this thing inside of 3 weeks at that rate. I just miss her SO much.

By the way, crying isn't a bad thing. I would say just be careful doing it around your W. Some say a man crying is only doing it for himself (not sure what that means exactly, but it doesn't sound good). You do have to be a man, and be responsible, and show her you love her, and be positive and upbeat and crying around her MIGHT, and I stress MIGHT be seen as weakness. Show confidence and a genuine concern for her and that will show strength. Your wife wants to be with someone strong AND sensitive - it's a fun balance (that I don't remember how to do, but I'm working on it.)

Sounds like we're in the same boat 789, I hope we can both keep it from sinking

Well I have not broke down and cried in front of her except at the begining, and not just saying divorce, I have on purpose left out
1 MAJOR, factor that led up to the ending of drinking, then her asking for a divorce. I just don't feel that comfortable to post it here for everyone. Not sure how to send private messages in here, but I think I could as in not knowing you personnaly, but chatting with you enough to be able to say it thru messages, I would actually like to let imLin hear it also because some of her posts she might understand or give guidence too. No it is not about drinking or DUI's

PS. it is one of the major reasons I am so frustrated with W, but also even though it is not her reason, it was big enough to send her for a major loop, it just all came out at the wrong time and did nothing to help. Unfortunately it had to come out, not proud of it but I was so close just prior to all this "S**t" to take a walk into the clouds and find my maker if I did not say anything. With all that said I still truly love her and hope she can understand in the long run and see that my drinking was not to hurt her, it was my way of staying sane for many many years, then when I saw the light, the only way to fight the alcohol was to come out and tell her. Not trying to be cryptic here, it's a short story that just not ready to post here, but am thinkning of doing it anyhow.

789

You can email me at ip0ets@yahoo.com ....that is a zero...not a capital O...

I am ready when/if you are...I do know that most people who are alcoholics and/or drug addicts usually have an underlying cause...something that they are "medicating" themselves for...this was true for my H even though for a long time I thought (or he had me convinced) he "just liked the taste"...

Take care....Lin

email is comming very soon.