well, i guess there's a fine line between "useless/sponging", and "dependant".
Also, I think there's a difference between "having your own ideas/drive for fun", and "having fun on your own".
Having your own ideas for fun, means that your husband doesnt feel responsible for being your entertainment director. That's a really good thing. Not to mention, exposing your husband to fun things that he didnt think of, is certainly a nice thing. I'd like that myself.
In contrast, "having fun on your own", however, leads to separate lives, which is never good for marriage. That kind of "independance" is bad, i think.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
well, i guess there's a fine line between "useless/sponging", and "dependant".
Also, I think there's a difference between "having your own ideas/drive for fun", and "having fun on your own".
Having your own ideas for fun, means that your husband doesnt feel responsible for being your entertainment director. That's a really good thing. Not to mention, exposing your husband to fun things that he didnt think of, is certainly a nice thing. I'd like that myself.
In contrast, "having fun on your own", however, leads to separate lives, which is never good for marriage. That kind of "independance" is bad, i think.
I totally agree Dom. You said it much better than I could.
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
That is so awesome that you are back together. This is an inspiration. According to your dates it did not take long either (well as long as others). I am sure it felt long.
Good luck on the new adventure keep us posted.
Bomb 3/31/2007 Moved out 04/22/2007 Moved back in 06/11/2007 Wants to stay and try 09/04/2007
Mimi, Thanks. No, mine took about 8 months from bomb(replay) to finish. Looking back it had probably been coming on for a year and a half before that. So total of a little over 2 years for all of MLC, and we probably still aren't COMPLETELY through it yet, but we are close I think. Very short in MLC terms. I have read that MLC can last anywhere from 6 months to 10 years with the average being between 3 and 5 years. I was definitely one of the lucky ones. I can't imagine those poor souls that do this for 10 years.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
I guess that is what I meant. My H started (I think) replay about 2 months ago. But as I look back I can see where things have slowly been changing for about 2 years, progessively getting worse until the bomb. I did not notice it at the time.
I am not sure how long he will be here but I do have to say that over the past couple of days he has been a little different then the past 2 months. He has agreed to go to Family Therapy so we can learn how to get along for the kids. But made it clear we were not going to talk about the R.
He called me up crying last night about missing the kids and then called back to thank me for caring.
Some of these are positive signs I guess but I am not getting my hopes up.
I am glad to hear about you though. Like I said it gives me a little hope.
mimi
Bomb 3/31/2007 Moved out 04/22/2007 Moved back in 06/11/2007 Wants to stay and try 09/04/2007
