On the issue of the children, you know, people constantly say "Oh they will adapt; they will be fine." But that's a bunch of crap. My H is now deployed for a year and I am seeing first-hand the impact of having their Daddy gone has on them. I just cannot imagine if he had gone through w/ his D idea or ever gets a hair up his a$$ again and decides that's what he wants again. My oldest (7) actually said to me "Everything's different w/ Dad gone." I said "in what way" and he said "I just FEEL different." They are smarter and more intuitive than some give them credit for!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
The sadest thing my daughter has ever said was when sahe was looking at an old picture of my H and I on the wall (happy times) and you could see the love in our eyes. She said you and daddy looked like you loved each other here..or something along those lines...:(
Guess who is husrting the most right at his tiem and moment??? My mother!! Whenever she calls like this morning she say a one liner that cuts right thru my heart and soul... She said it agian this morning... when she aske dif H stayed out last night anad I said yes, she said "you know he is no longer your man anymore he belongs to her and you need to give him up and stop holding on". I told her I realize that and that a part of me doesn't mind if he spend his nights at her place so much that he will either have enough of her(like after 3 days the last time) or doesn't want to come back., but that right now I haev not made my mind up on signing the papers. I told her she is hurting me more w/ those words that I don't even hear from my H and that if he were to tell me those words day in and day out, I would definately have to give him the divorce just to not hear those hurtful words anymore! I was fine emotionally until her phone call and now I just finished crying all over again. Jesus!!!!!!!! I hope H doesn't come in now and see my puffy red eyes!!
I told her I would sign the papers jsut to shut her up right now!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was thinking why am I doing all this work trying to get our A/C fixed? H says he is not paying to get it fixed yet he wants me to sign the papers and put the house on the market? Hmmmm... the house can not sell w/ out any air!!!! Maybe this is a "blessing" in disguise as to put this whole thing on "hold"?
Our air has had TWO leaks and yesturday I had a freind fo my mom's come and close all the lines and he w ill return to see exactly where the all the leaks are. I might tell him to not do anything for now. The is liek a stove right now, but the fansa are helping.
Well, get the AC fixed and then take his half of the bill from his half of any profits from the house.
As for your mom, tell her you will no longer discuss your husband or marriage or whatever it may be with her. If she brings it up, change the subject. If she pushes tell her agian it will not be discussed by you and to call you back when she can talk about something else.
I knew another reason H leaves the house is b/c he who is hot natured anyways can't stand the heated house last night for 2nd night in a row stayed out again. Even thogu I had to call him to let him knowhe ahd a "surprise waiting for him at the house". His mom came unannouced from out of the country and waited for him to get home. I had a feeling he wasn't coming and so I told her so (she already knows about OW). I had to call and leave a message and called the second time when MIL was fetting restless and wanted to leave (jet lagged). The second time he picked up and I just handed her the phone right away and she told him that she was leaving anyways so she would see him whenever (I could tell she was not very happy).
This morning I had to email him b/c I need our D7 ss card from him which he claimed he does not have and he was nicey nice and called me deary?? He does this whenever he overstays at her place or is feeling guilt? Or he may jsut know he needs to play nice now w/ MIL here. UGH! Now I guess this will mean we will have to do family time 2gether and take MIL out. H has not anything family is in such along time I don;t know how to act..
BTW, the a/c amn was wondering if H sabotaged the air b/c he said the a/c couldn't have had lost so much freon w/ such atiny leak in such short time frame just to ba a a$$. Hmm possibilty.
The 1st thing he asked when I emailed him today was if the air works now and what was wrong w/ it.
I had reality hit me smack on the face this morning. My h came by last night to see his mom who is in from out of the country and I had invited her to dinner. I cold tell from how the two of them were behaving that they have talke about our stich and most likelty he told her I don't want to sign. As usual when he ahs been gone for x amount of days he comes in and check s the house out and FINALLY fixed the lighing in the garage ( i think to show his mom only for looks) the lights been out for weeks. WHen he came in I was finishing cooking and all he could say was that the fish looked burned. After having some promblems fixing the lights ( I could hear him cursing) he came in to watch tv, but he semed "out of place" like thats how he felt?
HERE"S THE BIGGIE- As I was leaving I noticed the house for sale sign inside the garage!!!!!!!!!!! I have not even signed the papers YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REALITY HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called a freind of a freind who knows realty attorney to find out if he can sell from underneath me. She will investigate for me. I beleive my name is on the deed, but not on the finincial papers. This is so sad.......
This is so sad.......