No, I am not going to make him choose right now, because I know at this point, he would choose her.
Yes, and that is how he lost his job, too... listening to OW instead of me! I feel he could get into more trouble... he never learns... I tell him straight out she is TROUBLE, I did from day 1. She has got him so wrapped around her finger it isn't even funny! I watch this and it is almost unbelievable to me the stupidity he shows when I used to think he was such a smart man, I think he is not so smart anymore. I don't like to talk about my own H this way, but I am losing respect for him fast... at least the little I had left, anyways.
I talked to a friend who has a brother that is a policeman and he said that I could put a restraining on her if I feel harrassed or threatened by her. They may or may not let me because I really have no proof that she is doing all this, but at least there will be something on paper that I am having a problem with her.
This could really put her over the edge, though and she would really start getting nasty and my H might up and leave me for this, too, I believe. He is still that into her.
Just journaling my day. H was out with OW yesterday, because she left a hair bow in his truck on his gear shift, I'm sure for me to find and hoping I would get in a fight with H.
I purposely took it off of his gear shift while he watched me... oh that has been there for a long time he says... (not) I just drove his truck 2 days ago, it was not there... (and she is the only one that does that, I do not put my hair bows there and the passenger window was opened and the seat moved) then he says, throw it out if you want, so I did, whipped out the window and did not say one word. Does he think I was born yesterday?!
I guess I did good, because we did not get into a fight like I think she had hoped. To bad for her. We went out and had an ok time. How can someone live with all the lies, though, especially when he knows I am trying with everything I have got? It would eat me up inside.
I think I am starting to stuff my feelings because i knew in my heart he was out with her yesterday and why did it not bother me yesterday like it usually does, am I just getting tired of worrying about it? Or do I feel helpless and giving up? Or maybe I just don't care as much? Maybe my feelings for him are changing? Who knows? Too many questions in my head.
On the good side, he is doing some baby step things occasionally. Tomorrow is another day.
Well, I guess my only advice to you, sweetie, would be to do what you feel you need to be doing. And if that's still DB'ing, then that's what you need to do.
Like I've said before, you never know how you are going to act/react until you are actually in a sitch yourself.
Have you gone over the "infidelity" forum? I know there are a lot of people over there who are DB'ing while their H or W are still in an actual A.
Maybe you are truly starting to detach as far as how you are feeling now. I truly think that's the only thing you can do at this point if he is still seeing OW on a continual and regular basis AND still living @ home.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Yes, I think I might just start a news thread over there. Maybe I am detaching, or just feel that there is nothing else I can do and my 2 choices are live with it or kick him out (which I am not ready to do). The whole situation is just demeaning to me. Thanks cadesmom. Hope you are doing well.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Ok you asked... I got home today at 8:30 p.m. grocery shopping with my little boy... he was talking to OW on the phone. He told her he would call her back.
He starts demanding I tell him where his bird house he made at work yesterday was that was in his truck. Now honestly I had no idea what he was talking about. so that is what I said, I said what bird box? He got really mad and kept accusing me of taking it. He started yelling and carrying on, but I stayed calm and swore to him I didn,t take it or even know about it.
He started crying and punching the coffee table so hard and demanding I bring him his bird box in 5 minutes!!!!! I stayed calm again and looked him in the eyes and asked him to please trust me, I did not do it. He was crying and saying I was making him believe he was crazy. I hugged him and said I love you, I would not do that I was trying to help him. I got him to calm down, but he told me he was done with me and told me to leave him alone.
That OW has got him convinced I did this. This is crazy! This is the third or fourth thing he has accused me of that the OW is doing. He keeps believing her. She is a terrible person. He was out with her yesterday and I'll bet you she took it out of his truck or got it somehow. I don't know how, but she did. She is really trying to get him to leave me (today almost did it) by making him believe I am out to get him and I am doing things I really am not.
Here's a recap on what the OW has my H convinced I am behind that I have not done or would never do:
1. That I set up the robbery of her house. 2. I am calling her. 3. I am having someone call her and threatening her life. 4. I stole the bird house my H made out of the back of his truck. (now mind you on top of this she has been the one calling me even at my work one time).
Does anyone know how to handle when the OW is playing so dirty!?? HELP?! My H almost left and went back to her, he was on his way out the door because of this. I think it was because I stayed so calm, that he didn't, I don't know. This is getting ridiculous the games and BS she is pulling. She really is making my H crazy!!!! She really is. She is a terrible person. What do I do? Help? How do I convince him I am not doing these things. My word is not good enough for him with the OW still having such a hold on him. He believes her every time!
Hey, girl, I truly don't have any advice for you today. I don't even know how to deal w/ my own issues right now. I guess we just wait and watch??
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I haven't heard from Cissy in a LONG time. Not sure that she's still coming on.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
