Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Piecing Our Marriage Back Together Again Piecing, 2 steps forward, one back, or more?

Jeez,

I just posted under the SSRI's post about my back surgery/TENS unit/ etc. Umm, nope, never got the IMS, at least not on purpose. What did help you? FYI, my H is a pain specialist and I gotta give him credit, he knows what he's doing and it's so much more than meds. Mostly interventions, but I'm done with that for me. No more procedures, thanks. But hey, my functioning is now 95% of what it was before the injury and so much better than when I was first injured. Neuroscience is growing soooo rapidly. My bil has a brain tumor (sadly, his road seems to be coming to an end) but in the time he's had it, the amount of info and number of treatments have increased ten fold or more. And in fairness to God and His work through modern medicine, bil has lived 8 years with this tumor, without much noticeable effects, except fatigue from the anti-seizure meds. All things considering, he seems grateful and has never ONCE complained....

Ah, putting things into perspective again.
j-

Well, it is coming up to 4 years now since the accident and I haven't found "the answer" yet, however there is some hope left (which I had given up on)

I have had one continuous headache since July 12, 2003 (the day of the accident) - sometimes, if I am lucky, it sits at a 2-3 (on the pain scale) and sometimes it rises to a migraine. I have tried physio, trigger point injections, facet blocks, every medication you can think of (allergic to all of them) massage therapy, accupuncture, IMS - you name it

I pretty much gave up until we moved here and contacted a chiropractor that specializes in upper cervical problems. He pinpointed exactly where my pain was in about 30 seconds. He knows his stuff and I have noticed already the pain in my neck and shoulders easing off. I know if we can get that to settle down, the headaches will at least lessen

It is not going to be cheap but just the thought of having even less headaches is unbelieveable, however he believes he can get rid of them completely, says he has done it lots to others with migraines. One day I went to his office with a migraine which was close to being full blown (H drove me because I couldn't drive) and within an hour of him working on me it had lessened to a point where I could function again - almost unheard of in my case. Usually when I get ones like that, I am out of commission (totally) for at least 2-3 days

I go 3 times a week for 3 months and then we will evaluate it at that time.

Oh, she is just the CUTEST thing!!

Survival Goddess in Surviving the Big D has a daughter at Cal Poly if you want another opinion. She's just finishing her sophomore year, I believe.

Ellie

thanks, I'll check that out. Sorry that post was so long and narrowly focussed on non-DBing stuff
j-

My D just loves it at Cal Poly! I like it because it is a friendly environment, and a competitive school with a great reputation, SLO is a wonderful smallish town and a nice place to visit if I feel like going there. D was also recruited by her department. CalPoly has one of the best freshmen "orientations' that I have ever seen...They have an entire "week of welcome" or WOW for the new students that is the week before the rest of the campus gets there. they do lots of team building and other activities to get to know the campus and the area.

SG

THANKS!!

I'll try to print your answer out....okay, I won't b/c then d18 will see my screen name, etc. I will tell her my "Friend" told me this stuff...

And fwiw, I LOVED SLO and CalPoly and you know, I was not expecting to. So there.
j-

Okay, as you all know, the saga of LA girl, going up north to be Nanook, continues.

H's hero #1 calls me last night about details of the well paying but boring as [censored] (BAS) job I'll have there. Suddenly, I find myself telling hero that I never wanted to live there and that d9 does not want to and that our older kids are not happy with the way their father has made these unilateral choices....

Somehow, me and hero #1 CONNECT and talk with REALITY and he says he would never have hired h if he had known truth. SO I say, "I didn't call you to tell you that b/c I don't want to hurt H's career AND OR force him to return here, etc...." Then I give h some plug about being able to focus so well on goals, that he puts blinders on about "collateral damage" as in (destroying the 25 y M?) his R's with the kids and stuff like that.

I had a hard ass day yesterday with my sister (her h is dying of brain tumor, 2 kids, one of whom is weird and damaged and just tooooo sad) AND my own life and stressors and--you get the point.

I don't know what else I said. I didn't call H a liar or say he deceived me, I DID say I was seeing a Christian pro-M counselor (hero #1 is religious, and I like his wife) who helped me forgive h, or start to, etc. And that "I love the guy" (meaning h, not hero).

This morning I called hero to tell him to "erase" last night's call and he said "Why? I thought it was good. We should drive up to X together and talk on the way up and yes, still want to hire you," etc.

I asked h, this am, what he had told heroes. H said tiny little "truths" such as that I would "never live full time in Alaska" and would not come up "before d18 finished high school". True? Only in a legal sense. The REAL FULL truth is I said I don't want to EVER Live there AND no way would I move d18 again in high school...

SO now I guess I'll fudge some about the convo with Hero, when I talk to h. Act as if all is well and let hero #1 model what a good guy does. I actually asked hero#1 what he would do if HIS w wanted out of Alaska (and hero #1 is FROM there) and hero said, "I'd leave with her...."

Hero might become my hero....wish H would emulate hero in MARITAL ways, not just professional...
What do I tell h, if anything? That I was "negotiating"? That's as true as anything h said...
j-

J
I met my Husband at LMU!!!
I was the only Jewish girl on campus...now you know why his parents hate me!!
D19 was accepted to Marymount Manhattan, but opted to go elsewhere for her Freshman year, and now, tells me she wants to transfer there so she can be in NY.
Maybe she can live with Lis and commute.

Hey j,

Not sure what you should tell your H, but your conversations with hero #1 all sound positive from you laying out your position and his support of you. Maybe he will rub off on your H and he move back with you, unforuntately it seems like it is going to take you going there to find out.

-JDK

or meet my s20 (soon to be 21) this fall @ NYU....?

but what kind of in law would YOU be????

Oh wait, I know! A hell of a lot better than the one you got and I can say the same thing...
j-

PS--cool that you met at LMU, how wacky is that? Plus, did I tell you I have family in NH?