Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy My Heart is Aching

Cades, I'm sure he read the email. He's probably doing some thinking about it, that's why he hasn't said anything yet.

Let him soak it in. He knows how you feel. I hope this assignment will do him good and he gets to see what he's left behind.

I don't see how it could possibly make him mad.

Not my place to say, since I haven't really read the books and I don't have experience with that part of your situation, but I think you did well.

I'm the last one to tell you if it was right or wrong. It seems that anything concerning R's is a toss up. For the past 3 nights I've called my H before going to bed just to say goodnight. Well last night he calls me back and tells me he doesn't want me calling every night like that that he doesn't like it. So now I've decided that he can just call me and I won't call him. Is that the right thing to do? He seems to be setting rules for everything and anything. I hope things can be different when I get there but with each new "rule" I can't help but wonder. I feel that if it's important some things need to be discussed however the other party doesn't seem to feel the same way. All I can suggest is that you opened it up for him and now it's up to him if he responds to it or not. If he does great if he doesn't let it go for now. Good luck

Cadesmom,

Wow, I think you are an amazing woman for doing all that you do, and as you stated, not complaining, and 2nd for not asking ANY details about the past. (I thought it was deserved, but did at least SOME raking over the coals of my H).

You were incredibly supportive and even APOLOGETIC in that email. For you, I'm a bit peeved that he didn't gush saying, thank you honey, for all the support, you're the greatest!! I think it's not nice of him to act like he had not read it. Hopefully, he will initiate SOME talk about it soon. Maybe your relationship style is less open? Maybe he feels a little uncomfortable addressing it? Anyhow, I think you did an AWESOME job supporting him and showing him RESPECT even given the situation, yet showed a little firmness too in telling him any continued attention away from you is hurtful.

WTG, girl!

Now time to do as much GAL'ing as your current situation will allow you to do and concentrate on you!

Cadesmom,

Wow, I think you are an amazing woman for doing all that you do, and as you stated, not complaining, and 2nd for not asking ANY details about the past. (I thought it was deserved, but did at least SOME raking over the coals of my H).

You were incredibly supportive and even APOLOGETIC in that email. For you, I'm a bit peeved that he didn't gush saying, thank you honey, for all the support, you're the greatest!! I think it's not nice of him to act like he had not read it. Hopefully, he will initiate SOME talk about it soon. Maybe your relationship style is less open? Maybe he feels a little uncomfortable addressing it? Anyhow, I think you did an AWESOME job supporting him and showing him RESPECT even given the situation, yet showed a little firmness too in telling him any continued attention away from you is hurtful.

WTG, girl!

Now time to do as much GAL'ing as your current situation will allow you to do and concentrate on you!

Cadesmom,

Wow, I think you are an amazing woman for doing all that you do, and as you stated, not complaining, and 2nd for not asking ANY details about the past. (I thought it was deserved, but did at least SOME raking over the coals of my H).

You were incredibly supportive and even APOLOGETIC in that email. For you, I'm a bit peeved that he didn't gush saying, thank you honey, for all the support, you're the greatest!! I think it's not nice of him to act like he had not read it. Hopefully, he will initiate SOME talk about it soon. Maybe your relationship style is less open? Maybe he feels a little uncomfortable addressing it? Anyhow, I think you did an AWESOME job supporting him and showing him RESPECT even given the situation, yet showed a little firmness too in telling him any continued attention away from you is hurtful.

WTG, girl!

Now time to do as much GAL'ing as your current situation will allow you to do and concentrate on you!

Oh dear. Moderator, can these multiple posts be deleted? Sorry, my page was loading slowly and I should have known not to repeat click. My mouse has been acting funny today, so thought it was that. Sorry! ;D

That's ok. Thank you for your post! It made my day I think him not talking about "stuff" is just kind of a guy thing. My mom said that to me this a.m. and I have to agree Everything is fine as far as he is concerned, so let's just press on, you know?

I just feel so much better now that I got that OW paragraph out there and he knows how much it hurts me and he will have to be very conscious of what he is doing IF he is still talking to anyone.

Like I said, though, we did have a very nice convo this a.m. that made me feel really good about things. We'll see if he ever responds to the email and, if he does, what he has to say. I'm still just afraid he may be a bit mad or irritated because I brought anything up, but I don't want to live like that anymore. I need to feel like I can talk to him about anything or I am going to continue to feel distant from him and it will just get worse as time goes by.

Cades,
I have a question for you. Our 25th anniversary is coming up next month. I know he could care less about it but it means something to me. We had always talked about renewing our vows this year but instead he's talking D. I want to get him something but it can't be sentimental or anything like that. Would you or anyone else have any ideas? I had also thought about putting a letter with the card letting him know I forgive him and that from this day on I plan on moving forward. Good idea or no? I haven't seemed to be able to do anything right lately and I don't want to backslide any more than I apparently already have.

Update:

I still don't know if he's read the email or not. He called this evening which would be Friday night here, Saturday morning there and I asked him if he had seen another pic I had sent via email and he said he hadn't checked his email at all yesterday so now I'm trying to figure out the time difference and whether that was "yesterday" to him that I sent it or what.

Anyway, very good conv. He said even though he went out & played darts w/ the guys last night he got very homesick. Wanted to just have movie night w/ us and then go "rastle" in the bedroom w/ a certain redhead (that would be me )

I honestly don't think I'm real concerned about him cheating anymore. I truly think he and I are on the right path now and I just pray that he will remember how good we are and have been since putting our M back together.

I guess I'm still kind of nervous that, if he hasn't read the email, it may make him mad or irritated. I know you guys don't think he should be (I guess I don't really think he should be either). I'm just afraid he'll think I'm "starting something" by bringing up OW/EA and our whole sitch.