I may be moving to the I'm thinking about leaving forum. I'm really reaching my breaking point with H lies. As I mentioned, I had to make up delinquent payments on our house in the amt. of $4k. I am blessed to have the money in my savings, but that isn't what my savings is for. So, I tell my H that I sent the money in and he tells me that he did too. I asked when he sent it and lo and behold it was the same day I sent my check. Well, I called today, funny, the mortgage company got my check but not his. Lies, lies, lies and more lies. Did I mention he lies. So now I have a sexless marriage, a liar and an adulterer for a H. I am working through his infedility, but the lying, after all that he put through, is about to push me over the edge. Lord knows that I love him, but geez, can't I get a little respect?
You are in a short term M with a man who has cheated and taken advantage of your financially for most of it. I certainly understand your frustration and disappointment -- you do not have a romantic partner, a life partner, or even a decent friend in your H. No, he is not your best friend -- he lies and cheats. That is not what friends do to each other.
You are right that a big part of the problem is your avoidance of confrontation. Until you set boundaries and enforce them, you will not have a successful M with ANYONE.
So, you may as well start there. Get your money back that you took out of your savings. Make sure your finances are disentangled. Figure out what your boundaries are and enforce them. If you want respect, you'll have to start by treating YOURSELF with a bit of respect.
He either needs to step up and be a partner that you want to be in an M with or you need to exit the M. But, give him a fair shot by confronting him directly on the make or break issues. Take responsibility for your own happiness and quit trying to mother/rescue H.
As for God and religion and what they would tell you to do, you are asking the wrong person. Enough said on that point.
