Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE wot shld i do?

CNTCOPE,,,Most of us have been or are at where you're at right now,,,BUT please think about your babies,,,and yes I say babies because no matter how old your kids are,,they will always be your babies and they will always love their mother!! Please think of them, sweetie! They need someone strong like you, to help them cope w/what they will or have been going thru w/their father! Be strong girl!! We will help you thru this no matter what!!! We don't judge you as a person,,,we understand you for what you've been fighting for no matter whose at fault!!! There is hope sweetheart!!

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR YOU HERE!! BUT PLEASE CALL A FRIEND, YOUR DR., SUICIDE HOTLINE OR THE MODERATER HERE,,,

I will listen as well,,,MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IS: kpworkinggirl@yahoo.com & then I can give you my #,,,i'm not a psychologist but I am a paramedic & a victims' advocate if you need to talk!

CNT,

I am so sorry that you are hurting, but you don't have to hurt like this. As others have already said there is lots of help out there.

Reading what you've written it's very clear to me how much you love your kids. What do you think this would do to them it you were to end it all? Do you know what you will leave them with? They will be devastated but they will also be haunted that they couldn't save you. They will feel a nagging guilt and blame themselves. I know this first hand. You will be out of your pain but their's will be just beginning. Think about them! Those are your babies that you will be hurting. I think you love them way too much to want that.

You need to take care of yourself first. Get help and then you will have a clear head to be able to figure out what it is that you need to do.

We're here for you..........

Love,
Bethie

Cntcope,

You need to talk with someone, like qoe100 suggests, call a suicide hotline. If you're in the United States, you can call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255.

You can't make anything better for yourself or for the kids you love so deeply if you "end it all." Please, if not for yourself, then for your kids, call and speak with someone from one of the hotlines right away.

I'm praying for you.

Joe

sgctxok,,,,Where are you??? I know you were on earlier today and your the only one who has been recently!! If you are aware of whats' transpired in the last couple of hrs on this thread then could you please let us know that you found cntcope's location & that everything is alright??!

Haven't heard anything for awhile and thats' very concerning to a lot of us here!!

Thanks, Kim

Hi cntcope:

I was you 5-6 years ago. I was suicidal too. And don't do it - I promise you it will get bettter. It did for me.

You are in a relationship with an emotionally abusive man. He has gotten into your head and you are believing the things he is telling you. HE IS WRONG!!!! You just can't think straight right now b/c you are seeing yourself through his eyes. HE IS THE SICK ONE - NOT YOU! YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON AND YOU DESERVE TO LIVE AND BE HAPPY.

I know b/c the same thing happened to me.

From the outside I appeared attractive and successful. I was also the one that maintained the financial stability. When I was M, I started to hate myself. I believed all the things The X said. I believed I was a failure an attorney. I was convinced I was unfit to be a mother - The X refused to have children with me b/c he use to say that I was too screwed up to have childre. I believed I was a spouse batterer - and he was the one that did the battering. My head was all screwed up. I was confused.

I viewed myself through The X's eyes. I didn't trust my own judgement. I didn't trust my own feelings. I didn't trust my own senses. And I was too tired to get my brain to think.

I felt trapped. I thought about suicide. I felt stuck. I felt trapped. I felt like there was no future - that I had no reason to live. The X had a bottle of painkillers. I looked at them all night. I called a suicide hotline and they helped me. I flushed the pills down the toilet.

I also went to outpatient counseling for 6 weeks. And my world turned right side up again.

Your world will turn right side up again. Please do not end your life. People like us deserve to be happy. Trust me - you will be happy again. You will want to live again.

I need you to live so I can continue to believe that men like your H and The X will not win.

Please post back to me. Please talk to me about what you are feeling and thinking.

take care,
AG

cntcope - please contact us, me, anyone and let us know that you are alright.

I know the pain you are going through, I have been there and its excrutiating. But there are people out there, here on this board, that can and will help you

Please let us help you

(((cntcope))) we're praying for you

Hi CNT. I hope you're reading all the posts to you and that you feel a bit better. Like everyone else has said, a lot of us have been where you are.

I remember when I first came to the bb and was hurting so badly. Like there was a giant weight on my chest. I had people posting to me that had been going through all this longer than I had been. They told me it would get better but I didn't believe it. It just hurt sooooo bad!

But guess what? It DOES get better. They really knew what they were talking about. Everyone here will help you and support you but you should talk to your dr. or call a hotline as was suggested. You will make it through this and I think you will do it if for no other reason than the fact that you love your kids and they love their mom. Don't deprive them of having you in their lives. They would be devastated.

Hang in there and get some help. And remember, we're here for you anytime. And everyone is praying for you.

(((hugs))))

Sadeyez

CNT, I keep hearing that there are no coincidences. My XH and I were married for 25 years. When he gave me the I love you but I'm not in love with you speech and walked out the door my heart broke in a million pieces. About two months later, New Year's Eve Day, I think I truly realized he wasn't going to come home. I sat on the edge of our bed, loaded my .40, put a round in the chamber, and put the barrel to my head. Just as I was getting ready to squeeze the trigger the phone rang. I have no idea why I answered the phone -- I guess mom's just do that -- but it was a very dear friend of mine who was almost shouting at me..."What are you doing? I just had this flash from Heaven that I need to call you RIGHT NOW!"

I told her what I was doing. I guess I didn't see any point in lying to her but I stayed on the phone with her for hours, talking and crying. I finally promised her I would not kill myself and that I would call her any time of the day or night if I ever thought of suicide.

I've been divorced 18 months now. I'm blessed in many ways but do not always consider myself so. But, the greatest blessing I've had since then is my kids and grandkids. My eight-month-old twin grandchildren would never have had a chance to know me if I had pulled that trigger.

Please post back. I honestly can say I think I know how you are feeling and I'd be glad to give you my number and talk, too, if that would help you.

Dear cntcope:

Yes, you are valuable person! It's not yet time to quit. Please, call the National Suicide number: 1-800-784-2433. They offer counseling. Also, call your friends to stay with you, or vice versa. Lean on your loved ones. Allow them to lift you up. Do not think of your H's problems for now. My hands are stretched out towards you. You hold on tight. Brighter skies are in store for you. Please come back and tell us how you're doing.

Love,
/Tia

{{{{cntcope}}}}

Tia,,,Thanks so much for responding!! I know this kind of stuff happens from time to time,,we really do want to help and hope that everything worked out for the best last night??!!

I hope the "web master" got the message and was able to locate her & help in some way?!

Please keep us posted here if you hear or need anything!

Aloha & Mahalo,
Kim