Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Divorced, But Not Done emotionally drained

Well, my XW couldn't and still can't deal with her feelings and certainly can't express it. Sounds like yours might be in the same situation. So confused that D seems like the only option to get rid of the confusion. Hang in there. MC sounds like it would help her as well and help you both together.

Thank you very much i will do my best u hang there as well. I just wish they would realize that divorce only adds to the emotional stress not take away but they have to realize that thanks again i really appreciate it and will look more at your post im proud of you already looks like very big steps have taken place and you are handling it very well and with dignity

I took the opportunity to really look at myself and really to find who I am. While the whole process is something that I would not wish on my worst enemy, I am really happy that I have had the time to really focus on me. I think it is something that many are not able to have the opportunity to view ever.

Having said that, it still is not that easy. I still miss my XW. Still would like to work things out with her and to rebuild but it takes two to do that. Deep inside, we are really the same people that we were when we first met. Things are altered but still we are the same. Just takes time I guess to realize that.

Funny item, a few weeks ago she mentioned that she heard from a friend of ours that we have not spoken to in a couple years. She is getting remarried and found her new husband online. But before that, she was actually matched up with her XH on the site as two compadible people! Kind of funny. She saw it that the sites don't work, I saw it as two people that really are good together, but who just didn't want to work on themselves or the R to make it work!

Hang in there! We are all there when you need!

Ill hang there its just the confusion that i get from her but i have to realize i allow to happen. She says she its not that she doesnt want to its just we argue when we are together and honestly i dont argue with her anymore i tell her to calm down and she just cant control herself and starts crying it breaks my heart but dont know what i can do i told her that she needed to take responsibilty for her actions and told her i wanted her to know that i never gave up on us but like i said everytime we talk she cries i dont understand it at all i dont understand why all the calls and the emotions but wont take the steps we need to fix things anyway just very frustrated tonight srry thanks for all the advice i need it thanks again and wish i could give u more feed back just starting this and not sure what to say i too would not wish this on anybody.

Did I write this? Check the dates on my sig. Trust me, I can relate to what you're going through.

For the first time, just this week, my X has really acknowledged some of her part in the demise of our marriage. I was overwhelmingly at fault, and she used that to justify her actions. But both of us could have handled things better.

The confusion we go through can be horrible. Everything from wondering if there's hope to wondering if we even want a reconciliation. I'm facing a bit of that now. Do I dare think of restoration, only to be dissapointed and go through so much hurt again.



I wonder if you are being too defensive. I was. She may interpret that as arguing your position. Would it help to minimize your responses and just let her vent? Without trying to control what she should think or say? Instead of proposing a solution, just LISTEN?

We as men tend to want to fix things. We see a problem, analyze it, and take action to "fix" it. Heck-if-I-know what a woman is thinking.

Is there another man in the picture?