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OK, I'm ready. Leaving for the Bahamas on Friday. Yes, that's Friday, the 13th. Haven't seen my husband since May, 2006. We have been talking a lot over the phone in the past few months and have been planning our future together.

As I prepare for the trip, I want to have all new clothes for some reason. I keep telling myself and him that this is the new marriage, maybe that's why I want all new clothes??? Retail therapy??

Does anyone have any advice?? I have spoken with a friend who is also separated from her husband and she said that I would probably want to get away by myself for a few hours @ some point during the week. I think that is good advice.

Thnnks for any input!!

Deb

Good luck Deb!

Your friend is probably right about needing some time to yourself. And your H might also. Your reunion will be intense, so you'll both need some recharge time.

Try to remember that you have no control over H and his actions/reactions. You just control you. Things could shake out in so many different ways for your sitch, so just keep reminding yourself that you can always depend on yourself and you'll always be OK.

Enough on the cautions for now. Go have a great time in the Bahamas! How exciting!

Thanks Optimist. I will keep that in mind. Great advice - thank you!!

Deb

All the best to you.

Do you have plans? For example scuba diving in the Bahamas. It is one of the best places to do this ( and easiest, the waters are crystal clear and generally calm) Having a planned activity might be helpful.I am familiar with the Bahamas so if you have not been there before and want more info before you go please contact me.

Love and Light to you
Bislandgal

Bislandgal - Our plans are to sail on my husbands new yacht and of course do some snorkeling. I have been to several islands in the Carribean before, but not the Bahamas. This is not the kind of vacation I would chose for myself (I am more of a landlover). But, I do enjoy the ocean.

We have sailed before (interestingly enough, it was the last time he was away for a long period of time). This time is different, because he doesn't plan to return with me. He plans to stay on the boat and go back to school on the east coast and become a chef (open a restaurant, yadda, yadda, all that bipolar stuff).

Deb

Hi DebinDenver

Your H certainly has 'plans' doesn't he????

The Bahamas is a little different to the rest of the Caribbean in terms of sailing as the water is generally much shallower and there are coral reefs to negotiate .That is how the Bahamas got the name ..Bahia Mar ...meaning shallow water. The reefs are spectacular and the water is crystal clear.There a number of dive sites near the various islands and lots of places to snorkel. Do you have any idea which islands you are going to or near? It should be wonderful .I enjoyed sailing through the Abaco Islands .
Love and light to you
Bislandgal

There are places you could escape to no some of the islands . It is an archipelago of 700 islnads ( but that includes little rocks too!) There are resorts on the bigger islands but there are lots of uninhabited islands too. And some really lovely low key unspoiled 'family islands'

I can give some suggestions if you give some idea where you might be . Good luck . I shall keep you in my thoughts and hope your reunion is fun
Bislandgal

Back from the Bahamas. It was like a 2nd honeymoon, totally unexpected. It was better than our first honeymoon, much better. We are now planning the next trip, which will be our 5th anniversary. We did talk some about issues, but only a few times during the week. Mostly, we enjoyed the time together and it helped being on spectacular remote islands (like Double Breasted Cay) and having dolphins playing around the boat nearly every day!!

So we went from no communication @ all to 2nd honeymoon in 4 short months. Wow!

Deb

That's great Deb!

Eventually you'll need to tackle those R issues, although I'm not one to talk. My bomb happened about 3 years ago, and H and I still haven't discussed exactly what happened and how to avoid it in the future. I do plan to when we are reunited.

But for now, I think you are doing the right thing by simply enjoying your short amounts of time together. Build up those happy memories!

Optimist2004 -

Oh yes, I know the issues will not go away by ignoring them. We already tried that strategy - that's how I got here!!

During the sailboat trip, there were many times when I wanted to get into the issues, but I forced myself not to do that. Several people have told me that trying to resolve the issues too soon is a mistake. So, I have purposely avoided it for now.

On the last night in the Bahamas, I mentioned that I wanted a new ring to signify our new marriage. I might have been pushing my luck a bit, but that's what I wanted, so I told him.

On the down side, he is not planning on coming back to Colorado, which has been home for over a decade for both of us. He wants to live on the ocean. So I am planning on moving. My job may take me to the west coast with the next project. My husband prefers the east coast, but we'll work something out. It's a crazy life, isn't it??

Deb